Is there intelligent life on other planets?

Is there intelligent life on other planets?

This is a discussion on Is there intelligent life on other planets? within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I'm not even sure about some of the folks on this one!...

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Thread: Is there intelligent life on other planets?

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array G26Raven's Avatar
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    Is there intelligent life on other planets?

    I'm not even sure about some of the folks on this one!

    Is there intelligent life on other planets?-80741991_2944663798886007_9024600692697858048_n.jpg
    I'm with Joe Biden - you can't have 50 clips in a weapon!
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    VIP Member Array maxwell97's Avatar
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    It may not seem like a big deal, but imagine if it didn't!
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  3. #3
    Senior Member Array Grizzly2's Avatar
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    Is there intelligent life on this planet?
    MACV Advisory Team 75, HQ'd in My Tho at the "Seminary", 1967-1969

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array Stirling XD's Avatar
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    I suspect someday mankind will discover we are nothing more than some intergalactic reality show for higher lifeforms on other planets.
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    Has anyone tried turning the country off and then back on again?

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    VIP Member Array sdprof's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stirling XD View Post
    I suspect someday mankind will discover we are nothing more than some intergalactic reality show for higher lifeforms on other planets.
    What happens when we get cancelled?
    The only common sense gun legislation was written about 229 years ago.

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    VIP Member Array Havok's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maxwell97 View Post
    It may not seem like a big deal, but imagine if it didn't!
    I honestly never considered it from this perspective.
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    We get the government we deserve.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sdprof View Post
    What happens when we get cancelled?

    Is there intelligent life on other planets?-hand-pointer-buildings-architecture-world-globe-gl-2910.jpg
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    VIP Member Array OldVet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stirling XD View Post
    I suspect someday mankind will discover we are nothing more than some intergalactic reality show for higher lifeforms on other planets.
    Which says little for their intelligence.
    Retired USAF E-8. Curmudgeon on the loose.
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    Quote Originally Posted by G26Raven View Post
    I'm not even sure about some of the folks on this one!

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    I thought we answered this "once and for all", with MTV's "Jersey Shore", and THEN along comes the "Cardashyuns" (SIC on purpose!)
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    Distinguished Member Array Novarider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sdprof View Post
    What happens when we get cancelled?
    What do you think happened to the dinosaurs? They hit the reset button.

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    VIP Member Array LimaCharlie's Avatar
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    Is there intelligent life on other planets?-stars.png
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    There went Gretta’s arguments.
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  13. #13
    Senior Member Array M1911A1's Avatar
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    I know for a fact that there is intelligent life on other planets!
    How do I know?
    Because they're obviously too intelligent to waste their time visiting us.

    If they weren't intelligent, they'd've been here by now.
    Retired Leathersmith and Practical Shooter

    "Qui desiderat pacem, pręparet bellum."

  14. #14
    Senior Member Array Well_Regulated's Avatar
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    They're Made out of Meat

    "They're made out of meat."


    "Meat. They're made out of meat."


    "There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."

    "That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?"

    "They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."

    "So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."

    "They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."

    "That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."

    "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they're made out of meat."

    "Maybe they're like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."

    "Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take long. Do you have any idea what's the life span of meat?"

    "Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."

    "Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."

    "No brain?"

    "Oh, there's a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat! That's what I've been trying to tell you."

    "So ... what does the thinking?"

    "You're not understanding, are you? You're refusing to deal with what I'm telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat."

    "Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"

    "Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?"

    "Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."

    "Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."

    "Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?"

    "First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual."

    "We're supposed to talk to meat."

    "That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.' That sort of thing."

    "They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"

    "Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."

    "I thought you just told me they used radio."

    "They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."

    "Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"

    "Officially or unofficially?"


    "Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."

    "I was hoping you would say that."

    "It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"

    "I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say? 'Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"

    "Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."

    "So we just pretend there's no one home in the Universe."

    "That's it."

    "Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You're sure they won't remember?"

    "They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."

    "A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream."

    "And we marked the entire sector unoccupied."

    "Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"

    "Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again."

    "They always come around."

    "And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone ..."

    the end
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    You can't truly call yourself "peaceful" unless you are capable of great violence. If you're not capable of great violence, you're not peaceful, you're harmless.

  15. #15
    VIP Member Array HotBrass45's Avatar
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    When the aliens come, I hope they eat the fat ones first
    If you use JP-8, then it's technically not waterboarding

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