Very funny; loved it.
This is a discussion on What do alligators eat? within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't ...
Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake.
The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me.
We're the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it."
"Well," said the big gator, "what have you been eating?"
"Politicians, same as you," replied the small gator.
"Hmm.....Well, where do you catch them?"
"Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol."
"Same here. Hmm.... How do you catch them?"
"Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door.
Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the crap out of them and eat 'em!"
"Same here." says the big gator. "Do you eat Democrats or Republicans?"
"I eat the Democrats" says the little guy.
"Ah!" says the big gator. "I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment.”
“You see, by the time you finish shaking the crap out of a Democrat, there's nothing left but a butt hole and a briefcase.”
(Note: Language edited from original to ensure family friendliness. It loses something in translation, but I think most will get the point.)
Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.
Everyone wants to eat, but few are willing to hunt....
Very funny; loved it.
In the final seconds of your life, just before your killer is about to dispatch you to that great eternal darkness, what would you rather have in your hand? A cell phone or a gun?
Actually alligators have a diet that consists mainly of fish, turtles, birds, various small mammals, and other reptiles.
I have a very strict gun control policy: if there's a gun around, I want to be in control of it.
And along comes Brad to soil everyone's corn flakes...
Retired USAF E-8. Curmudgeon on the loose.
Lighten up and enjoy life because:
Paranoia strikes deep, into your life it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... Buffalo Springfield - For What It's Worth
Every once in a while a gator would take up residence, and this was considered desirable. They'd clean out most of the turtles and move on. They'll leave humans alone as long as nobody tries anything stupid. One of my idiot nephews started throwing marshmallows at one. Sure enough, the animal associated people with food and started crawling out of the pond and following folks around. That one we had to catch and dump way out in the swamp.
Politicians are similar; you throw dollar bills at them. They then become part of the "swamp".
Never let anything mechanical know that you're in a hurry.
The gator pond at Homosassa Springs, FL had a sign in the middle of the pond.
Trespassers will be eaten.
When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.
"Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."
A 9MM MAY expand to .45 but a 45ACP will never shrink to 9MM.
There are American crocodiles also. They are not as aggressive as their Nile counterparts, but they have accounted for a few dozen deaths over the years, mostly in Mexico.
Attack Squadron 65 "Tigers", USS Eisenhower '80 - '83, peackeeping w/Iran, Libya, Lebanon and E. Europe
Anything they want, except saltwater crocodiles.
Second Amendment: The difference between politicians and rulers.US Navy - US Army, RetiredNRA Benefactor Life Member
Armed And Harmless
Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.
- - Sir Winston Churchill, 1941