[dcb188]

Great point. He knows that YOU know. And I don't think it is that extreme a case at all.

 

[Thumper]

Thanks JudoJake, made me think! :wink:

 

[morintp]

I do pretty much the same thing. Look back, give a smile and maybe a nod of the head, and then look away. If I notice after that they're continuing to stare, I can and will stare them down.

The worst time I ever had to deal with this was at the airport. We had a guy stare at my wife and two daughters nonstop. I stared him down, and then loudly pointed him out to my wife to "keep an eye on him" and loudly told her what he was doing. After that, everyone in the area kept an eye on him. He didn't seem to like it.

 

[dcb188]

I wonder what makes people do that. A little unbalanced?

 

[mortpes]

Avoiding a shooting requires staying ahead of the game. Sure, keep an eye on, smile or nod, etc.

 

[Doc Holliday]

I understand what you are saying.

But if we feel that the situation has big potential to go to Condition Red, shouldn't we be concerning ourself with maybe creating a little distance, turning gunside away, evaluating other potential threats/innocents, and looking for cover/concealment?

I do appreciate the distraction/diversion/descalation tactic but I guess what I am saying is not to get so caught up in conversation with Joe Thug that you don't have a game plan as well.

 

[JudoJake]

That's just it DOC you are not expecting things to go to condition red at this point. This is not a technique that I use because I think that everyone is out to get me. I know that almost everyone I will ever meet has no intent to do me harm. But at the same time, I am not a sheep, so I don't think that it will never happen. So while operating in condition yellow I am basically eliminating almost everyone I meet as a potential threat, while communicating to them that I am a sheepdog. Different tactics come into play once a potential threat is located. Most of the time these additional tactics are not necessary.

 

[Doc Holliday]

That's just it DOC you are not expecting things to go to condition red at this point. This is not a technique that I use because I think that everyone is out to get me. I know that almost everyone I will ever meet has no intent to do me harm. But at the same time, I am not a sheep, so I don't think that it will never happen. So while operating in condition yellow I am basically eliminating almost everyone I meet as a potential threat, while communicating to them that I am a sheepdog. Different tactics come into play once a potential threat is located. Most of the time these additional tactics are not necessary.

Yeah I don't go through life at condition orange/red either. I don't believe that folks are out to get me either. My reponse was to this post. In this situation you have sized this fellow up as a realistic and fairly imminent threat in my book. He is amped up, acting nervous, shady, etc. I was saying that while distracting the guy you also need to be making a gameplan as well.

Controlling a situation is a must right? I mean, that is why most of us carry a gun is so that we can dictate the end result and be in control of what happens, instead of being at the mercy of some thug with a knife, gun or whatever.

We also don't want to use excessive force or use the gun when it isn't necessary. This is why I think that it is important to politely be in control of things early on. If we don't take control early, then we are giving them permission to go to the next step and it will be more dangerous to take control later on.

For instance, just taking one possible situation. You have a thug, who wants to rob a gas station. If his mother would have taken his Grand Theft Auto video game away from him when he was a kid, and told him that's not right, she would have taught him that he didn't have permission to behave like that. But she didn't.

If the court system would have convicted this tug and sent him to prison the first time he committed a robbery, then he might have gotten the message that it was not OK to do that. But he got probation with no felony conviction, so he can still possess a gun if the police find one in his car.

If the gas station was well lit, with video surveillance and no cash on hand, and a sign that said "no sun glasses, hoodies, or hats. He might have found a different store. But none of these thing happened. Nobody in this guys live has denied him permission to commit the crime that he is about to commit.

Now he is in the store, looking around and trying to figure out if this is it. Because you are also looking around, he notices you and you notice him. If you quickly look down, he thinks, that guy isn't going to give me any trouble and you are giving him permission to go ahead and rob the place. But what if you look him in the eye, smile, and say, "How are you." Now picture your dirt bag about ready to commit a robbery. How many people dose he see that looks like you, that give him the time of day. This will most likely freak him out. He wasn't expecting that. And it shows on his face. You can tell that he is ampt up. And you tell yourself, there is something up with this guy. So you start talking to him more. What is he going to do, say excuse me, then draw a gun. I doubt it. I think you have said, I noticed you, you don't scare me. I think this is a good way to take control early. Will eye contact alone stop him? Who knows, but it has a lot better chance than looking down at the ground. If nothing else he will be thinking, this guy is going to remember my face.

If you don't take control early, he may pull out a gun and start shooting if he doesn't get what he wants. Now you decide to take control, but to take control now, you risk a lot more.

This may be a bit of an extreme case, but I am trying to demonstrate a point. The point is, if you can take control of situations early on, buy verbal and no verbal communication, you are going to reduce the likely hood that you will have to do something drastic later on, like draw your weapon, to get control later.

 

[cdwolf]

That's just it DOC you are not expecting things to go to condition red at this point. This is not a technique that I use because I think that everyone is out to get me. I know that almost everyone I will ever meet has no intent to do me harm. But at the same time, I am not a sheep, so I don't think that it will never happen. So while operating in condition yellow I am basically eliminating almost everyone I meet as a potential threat, while communicating to them that I am a sheepdog. Different tactics come into play once a potential threat is located. Most of the time these additional tactics are not necessary.

Yea what he said:hand10:

 

[crzy4guns]

Eye-balling? Don't bother me one bit. Look all you want to, but please don't touch.

Ditto.

 

[Quonset Hut]

Part of what you do depends on where you are. Twenty-five years ago, I went with some co-workers to the Festival of San Gennaro in Manhattan's Little Italy. The streets seemed filled with pumped-up guys in their late teens/early 20's, with their perfectly made-up girlfriend alongside. Challenge oozed from these guys and other groups of youths who had no girls. I made sure to go through the crowd not looking at anybody, just going on my way. Later I talked with one of my co-workers. He said he was just standing there, looking around, when somebody clocked him with a golf club. It was not a robbery attempt, just the violence. I was amazed - didn't he see all those guys looking for the slightest reason for a fight? The most surprising part was that he'd grown up in the Bronx - I can't believe he couldn't read a street.

 

[Paco]

I learned much of the same info you have all discussed growing up in South East Dallas (Pleasant Grove), in fact I have to admit I am to blame as well. I ran with many thugs in a "social club" and can testify that we would often look for someone who looked weak and didn't make eye contact.

It is an essential part of reading a room to make the eye contact needed, eye contact and scanning is different than a stare.

 

[chester1006]

I was essentially saying that for every time a savage looks at us with malicious intent, there are probably seventy five times a guy or woman is looking at us because it is better than staring at the floor or walls.
But there is always that ten percent, as our Parris Island DIs told us

I never knew exactly how right the DIs were, either, til I got much older, and now I think it might be up to 20 percent

Oh how true! Depending on your neck of the woods, I think it's as high as 50% (The west end of my town and many Tampa residents come to mind). :-D

I think to some extent many people are indeed people watchers. We are fascinated by just looking at other people. I know I am. I'm not one that will stare at someone but I do enjoy just observing my surroundings, people and terrain. I just find it interesting to notice details about people in their physical appearance, their mannerisms, demeanor, etc. To the OP, I can't say that I make contact with many people, but I do "size people up" so to speak. I don't feel as though I'm doing it in the survival or fight/flight sense, but rather just evaluating the situation. I will try to be more of a talker from now on.

 

[Anubis]

the eyes have it

Tell me the technique.

Everyone uses the technique unconsciously. Your pupil size is a function of the ambient light level, but there's more.

When you look at something or someone you like or are interested in, the pupil size increases and when you look at something or someone you dislike, your pupil size will decrease. You read this in others all the time without realizing it.

If you have access to image editing software, you can demonstrate the effect for yourself. Start with 2 identical copies of a photographic portait of someone's face with no frown or smile. In one copy, make the pupils large, in the other make them very small. You will see that in the first copy, the person looks warm and friendly, and in the second copy you will see that the person is apparently looking at you like you were a revolting bug. I saw a set of pictures like this in a magazine years ago and it blew my mind.

 

[sheepdog]

Lots of good input here. I just wanted to add that I have been to a LOT of aggravated assaults and know of a couple of murders that, according to a surviving party, all started because "He was mad dogging me, man...".

 

[Bark'n]

Lots of good input here. I just wanted to add that I have been to a LOT of aggravated assaults and know of a couple of murders that, according to a surviving party, all started because "He was mad dogging me, man...".

Yup!

A lot of people are caught by surprised and frozen by fear or are dumbfounded by the rage they encounter by a truly hardened gang banger who flips out because someone "dissed them" with nothing more than a cross-eyed look. Hell they may not even know what "dissing someone" means...

You may live your entire life totally isolated from the streets and street life. Work in a factory or office, car pool, live in the burbs, etc, etc...

But if you don't know the enemy, what they are capable of, what makes them tic, you may not survive the encounter.

I may be infinitely more intelligent, educated, affluent then my opponent but that doesn't mean I can't be killed by someone I may consider to be a stupid person.

Never underestimate your opponent!

 

[pirate]

I live and grew up in the south where people still look at and acknowledged other people including strangers. I now live in the Raleigh area and because there is such a high concentrations of outsiders (northerners, no offense implied just the facts) living here now, the common courtesies are not so common anymore. If I catch an individual eyeballing me, he better have a good reason, and if I nod or say something to him he better respond or we have a problem. I will never be a lamb, sheep or coward. I am not easily intimidated. I am not looking for trouble and will walk away from it if I can, but I will not back down when pushed or confronted. Remember a wolf will look for easy prey first, and that’s just not me. I think most punks are just that "punks" and if you stand up to them and let them know you are not intimidated they will go on their way and bug someone else to get their jollies. "Be polite, and friendly, but have a plan to deal with everyone you meet"

 

[pirate]

Eyeballing someone may just be as simple as someone thinking they recognize the person or think they know them from somewhere. Locking eyes is something a bit different.Nature is full of animals that view direct eye contact as an act of aggression or a challenge. Best to avoid direct eye contact with strangers, but scan and remain aware of whats what.

Well said!

 

[NCHornet]

I agree down south this everyday life, but in some parts of the country people look at you like your are a idiot for talking to a stranger. Sad but true. I am always aware of my surroundings, not paranoid, not planning the what if, but I like to be very aware of who's around me and what they are doing, if that ivolves conversation great, if not I'm okay with that too.

NCH

 

[BUTCH69]

Look all you want, just don't touch.
to quote one of the other post, "I carry a gun because I can't carry a cop..and I'm out of doughnuts so they won't come unless I'm speeding!"