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Attitude.

Chris asked me do this, granted he asked if me to share a long time ago and to be honest, I had to give this some thought.

There is more to responsible firearm ownership than firearms.


There is nothing wrong with firearms or any other tools for tasks. Then again no tool or piece of equipment is any better than the operator of said equipment.

A number 2 pencil and piece of paper adding up 2+2 requires the user of pencil and paper to know correct basic fundamentals. Using a TI-30 Calculator and not knowing the correct basic fundamentals in how to enter an equation is just as frustrating as using Windows, Unix, or Mac Operating systems and not getting desired results.

Big fat pencils with Big Chief Notebooks and writing 2+2 = 5 and the teacher using a red pencil to mark a big fat red “X” teaches one 2+2=4. So when you learn the basics, using the TI-30 calculator or the calculator on one’s computer …

Nothing wrong with technology, I mean I finally decided to learn computers , granted it took a Professor to put a web site on the board on the first day of class, with a email address…”class your syllabus is here, and email me before this coming Friday in regard to class project you will be required to do” .

Uh-oh.

This is when a friends daughter taking the same class with me – whom gets a kick out reminding me I am older than her parents…”You know that building you said used to be a College Req room with pinball, pool tables, and Juke Boxes playing Rock&Roll…it is a Computer lab now and your butt is going to be there after class”.

Mac computer, no idea how to turn on, I can work a pool cue, damn good at pinball, but these and the juke box were gone.

“Can I just call him about this class project?”
“No”
“How about I just write a memo and put it in his box?”
“No”.

“Push that button”
<Push>
Well the computer made all sorts of noises; I thought perhaps I had “Tilted”. Old is having to explain ‘tilt’ and “body English” to friend’ s daughter.

Pinball never asked me my name “before” – it usually asked if I wanted to use my initials with my high score “after”.

I believe that in some respects was the beginning of me getting complacent. I mean I use to make straight A’s in spelling and vocabulary. Then I became spoiled with spell-checkers, and using abbreviations / symbols for classes.

I had "allowed" myself to let the equipment do for me - what I should have kept up with the skills myself. Sucks to be human at times I know.

I actually had to look up the word “change”. It looked funny to me, for about 2 years it dawned on me I had not really spelled the word “change” – instead had used the Delta symbol.

Being responsible for one’s safety is something one should never be complacent about.

The various tools and skills we use are basic fundamentals; only as good as we the operators of said tool. The only tool we are assured of having 24/7/365 is the brain.

Going to be blunt, we are adults. If a lady only has defensive tools at/ below waist, and said attacker is interested in what is below waist…well the brain is above waist.

Guys, don’t’ think it cannot happen to you either, what if the criminal is under your vehicle and grabs your ankles and yanks hard? Forget your head hitting concrete, perhaps knocking you out, seriously hurt, or death from fall…perhaps you are still in the fight, however all your tools are obstructed by legs being held, restricted by your vehicle, and here comes BG # 2 to rob you.

One cannot buy skill and targets.

Attitude: You do not look like prey. One carries themselves in a manner that projects to others – you are paying attention.

Attitude: Didn’t ask for this ‘fight’ but by golly since someone(s) started it, you are going to survive.

Nothing wrong with nice equipment, just one has to have them with them, available for use, and how to use.

Then again a $10 drug store cane will work, as will a broom if a better suited defense cane is not available.

Can’t get to your nice knife? Busted beer bottles, rocks bricks, car antenna… will.

Sometimes the nonverbal language speaks loudest. Parents often just look at a child in a restaurant, and the child settles down. A Professor may quit lecturing, look at the class, and the folks disrupting stop doing so. A firm but non-threatening acknowledgement of persons sends the nonverbal signal, you are paying attention, you are aware.

That sharpened #2 pencil in a ladies or gents shirt pocket does more that just add numbers and write words. It can leave a impression with a criminal as well.

Attitude.
 

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Nothing wrong with nice equipment, just one has to have them with them, available for use, and how to use.
From my POV Steve - that exemplifies my choice to carry 16/7 - never hoping to put to test but - never also expecting to reach and not find - ''oh crap, forgot to bring it along''!!

In some ways, a defensive attitude almost needs to be aggressive - in the thinking process - all the while still hoping and planning to achieve avoidance.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Assertive.

One can project an attitude of assertiveness.

Aware, self assured, and confident. Sometimes, hopefully, this will have the BGs back down or choose to find easier prey.

Aggressive is not bad mind you.

Consider the pet dog of someone whom is meeting you for the first time. If you project fear, or agressive behavior, that pet dog may go into defensive mode.

If the pet dog does not sense fear, feel threatened, instead "hey this person is cool, not afraid of me, not sending me bad vibes, seems assured, assertive and all...wonder if this person plays catch...?"

Yeah I know, we don't expect to , nor do we want to always be the newest bestest friends with strangers...dogs are one thing, strange folks out and about another.

Kinda like meeting the GFs/ BFs parents, or their freinds...one sends signals whether they are aware of it or not...and signals rec'd are not always the one "meant" to be rec'd...still a lot to be said for the non-verbal language skills.

Not what you say, but how said...or is this too incorrect?

Yep - what you say can be miscontrued by tone, inflection and body language.

Verbal Skills -

Verbal Judo : http://www.verbaljudo.com/

Verbal Judo, or Tactical Communications, is the gentle art of persuasion
that redirects others behavior with words and generates voluntary compliance.
Attitude.
Perceptions.
Staying Secure.

My angle is not ever get into Problem 1 which means never having to deal with Problem 2.
 

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True Steve - I'd modify what I said re ''aggressive'' , to mean in manner of assessment and thinking - maybe incisive better term.

But in manner of projection then indeed ''assertiveness'' is way to go - non provocative but productive of some degree of control, authority even.
 

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Aggressive is much broader in scope than violence, etc. E.G. from the dictionary:

Aggressive –
3. assertive
Characterized by or exhibiting determination, energy, and initiative – an aggressive investment policy

In the same manner one may have an aggressive investment policy, or an aggressive attitude at golf, etc., one could have an agressive self-defense policy/plan, etc. without necessarily implying voilence per se even though violence could be a part of the plan if the situation calls for it.

"Aggressive" could also infer the use of vigilance and awareness to avoid violence altogether.
 

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Good thread...

Attitude/Mindset is, I feel, the most important factor in SD. One of the guys on another forum I frequent recently said something that, to me, sums it up nicely: "With the right mindset, you can defend yourself with a ball-point pen. With the wrong mindset, you'll get raped with your own handgun." (a little coarse I'll admit, but it gets the point across)

Now for my $0.02 on our demeanor or people's percetpion of us. While I definately agree that we should have a very agressive mindset, there are many times that we shouldn't allow that mindset to be manifested in our behavior. I think that in most cases we should simply seek to exhibit or project an aura of confidence. We obviously don't want to seem timid or uncertain thereby making ourselves a target. At the same time, agression innapropriate to the situation can be interpreted as false bravado and cause someone to "call our bluff" as it were. The time for an agressive demeanor is once the situation has begun it's downhill slide.
 

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kenpotex said:
Good thread...

Attitude/Mindset is, I feel, the most important factor in SD. One of the guys on another forum I frequent recently said something that, to me, sums it up nicely: "With the right mindset, you can defend yourself with a ball-point pen. With the wrong mindset, you'll get raped with your own handgun." (a little coarse I'll admit, but it gets the point across)

Now for my $0.02 on our demeanor or people's percetpion of us. While I definately agree that we should have a very agressive mindset, there are many times that we shouldn't allow that mindset to be manifested in our behavior. I think that in most cases we should simply seek to exhibit or project an aura of confidence. We obviously don't want to seem timid or uncertain thereby making ourselves a target. At the same time, agression innapropriate to the situation can be interpreted as false bravado and cause someone to "call our bluff" as it were. The time for an agressive demeanor is once the situation has begun it's downhill slide.
Wise words.
 

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This is a very good thread. I took the liberty of rating it.
It is decently easy to spot false bravado & "beer balls" personality types.
I honestly think that I can adequately defend myself in most possible situations.
Hopefully, anyway.
I do enjoy the modest luxury of feeling somewhat confident but, I try hard never to get over confident. I try very hard to stay aware.
I also try very hard never to get clouded or delusional with any over confidence. I continue to learn & practice.
I never get an attitude with people - it's not natural to my personality anyway.
In Pennsylvania that is a good thing because we have a first obligation to retreat.
I sure would rather not find myself in any situation that requires a skillfully executed legal "retreat" on my part.
It is a good feeling to be able to project an honest, quiet confidence in ones own ability to Self Protect.
There are people that I care a great deal about that depend on my Good Health & Well Being so I try to stay safe for them as well as for myself.
The world keeps on getting to be a slimier place so...I've got to keep trying harder to get better.
I hope that we'll all stay qualified to the degree that we'll be able to ease our way out of any possible future altercations....unscathed & intact.
 

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The following was written by Charles Swindoll:

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude,to me, is more important than facts. It's more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstance, than failures, than successes, giftedness, or skill.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you....we are in charge of our ATTITUDES." (parts excerpted for brevity)

Good self defense education and training, combined with a self confident demeanor and defensive attitude, I believe, will get you through most of the trouble one might encounter. This allows you to think outside the box to hopefully reach a non-lethal resolution, or if need be, to defend yourself/others if it should turn into a lethal force situation.

Best,

Fred
 
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