You hear so much about the sudden knock at the door and, BAM , you're in a self-defense situation.
In can be that quick. And your ability to do something about it starts right then. The choices you make will determine whether you're highly likely to withstand the attack, or only possibly able to do so.
Your circumstances will also make certain choices better ones in your situation, as compared to those same choices for me, since our circumstances will be somewhat different. Consider the layout of your home, your front walkway/entry area and whether you can see/know who is coming before they see you; whether someone can approach or even enter windows or doors without your knowledge; whether you'll get much advance warning of a breach of the perimeter, or none. There are many steps you can take, and a firearm is only one of a dozen different steps that can be layered to form a fairly robust and effective early-warning system to help you present the firmest possible resistance.
... how do you keep a gun ready without looking like a gun-crazed-fanatic?
"
What do you care what other people think?"
- Richard P. Feynman. Nobel Laureate, Physics.
I mean you really can't go walking your living room with a gun strapped to your person. OR CAN YOU?
Sure. I do it daily. So do many, many others that frequent the forums here. There are very good reasons for doing so.
Some thoughts ...
Take an hour, on a fine Saturday morning, when you're relaxing with a cup of tea and watching the sun come up. Think through each of the different situations that could occur, if one or two criminals decide that your house is the one to strike. Think about a violent, noisy home invasion. Think about a quiet, surreptitious access via a rear window at 2am. Think about someone coming in while you're out back mowing the lawn, but your 14yr old daughter is inside being hunted down. Think one or more people coming into the back yard while you're preparing a BBQ lunch for your kids. Think about a crime next door, which gets you to exit from the house to see what's up or if you can help.
As you think about these types of situations, you'll realize that very little can beat having a firearm on your person at that moment. It's not for everyone. It's not for 24x7. But it can be a very useful and functional method for that element of your preparations.
And, yes, there are many here who lambast such people as fearful cowards who cannot look at a shadow without jumping. Ignore such silliness. They're small-minded, attempting to make you feel small for thinking big thoughts about your family's security. Why ignore it? Because it is YOUR safety you're talking about, not
their inability to feel good about your decisions for your family's security. Nobody's health and well-being matters in that decision but your own.
does anyone know about a good, quality, in-the-wall gun safe that makes a gun accessible while keeping in mind that kids are in the house.
AMSEC (American Security) makes a couple of decent in-wall units. Anchor it really well to steel plates inside your 2x4's, and have it outfitted with a quick-access mechanism.
No matter how quick-release you make a safe, it's still going to take a few seconds to move over to it, and a couple seconds to open it and access the contents. Better to have your firearm on your person, or at least within easy reach. You'll need to think it through, as to why one method over another makes sense, or will/won't work for you. There are a lot of previous discussions on this topic, where folks lay out their rationale for how they do it.
My recommendation would be to work through the various scenarios with your spouse and older kids, so that everyone understands basically what could happen, what simple preparations are going to be taken, and what to do with SHTF. It's far better to round up the flock when they're actively assisting in the round-up. And it's far better when everyone's pulling on the oars together, instead of fighting each other at exactly that moment when you can least afford it.