[WHEC724]

After three years of cc'ing and catching heck from my anti-gun wife for it, I believe progress was made this morning; I typically go out of my way to ensure that she doesn't see me holster-up, or ever see a firearm. However, this morning she was talking to me as I was getting ready for work and the only thing I had left to do was to put on my primary + bug, so I did so while we were talking...

She stared at me like I had three heads, made some sarcastic remarks and then gave me a peck on the cheek as I left.

Baby steps....

 

[Rugergirl]

Maybe it is the baby steps that are part of the problem?
You carry, she doesn't like it, but that hasn't changed anything.
Maybe not hiding it, but not flaunting it either will lead her to change her thinking sooner?
It must be uncomfortable living with an Anti, and I give all of you who do, much credit.

 

[Rustynuts]

Wait, WTH is "boil the frog"? Never heard that saying, must be a colloquialism.

OK, now I get it, just never heard it said like that. Slowly raise the temp!

 

[Sticks]

Dump a frog into a pot of boiling water, it will jump right out.

Dump a frog in a pot of cold/warm water and turn the stove to boil, it will stay in the pot and die from boiling.

Ergo - forcing the SO to watch/endure/see the gun that she has an aversion to will cause a meeting with a divorce attorney.

Slowly get her used to the idea, you see the 50th wedding anniversary.

In WHEC724's case, he turned the stove to "Keep Warm"three years ago, and today dropped a red hot rock into the pot with the frog.

 

[shooterX]

I stopped hiding the "gearing up" process from my wife as it really didn't help, she's really starting to come around some, she discusses CCing much more openly than she used to.

 

[muzzleloader]

I stay out of the way when the wife's getting beautiful and prefer she do the same when I gear up. I am getting a little less shy about uncovering when in the house though. The little lady is getting used to the idea of a gun on me all the time.:hand10:

 

[Rustynuts]

Within a year my wife went from almost kicking me out of the house unless my first gun went, to wanting her own gun and getting a CCW! Just keep pointing out all the crime news to her.

 

[Siafu]

I don't have this problem. Mine asks if I am properly outfitted before I go anywhere, even if it just to the gas station for a fill up or some milk.

 

[rico68]

I'm in the same boat. I'll usually wait for her to leave the room before I gear up. I'm not hiding it, but I'm not making a waving it in her face either. She goes through life happy as a clam and never knows I'm even armed. Early on, she gave me a hug an could feel the gun. She got all chicken-lipped and didn't talk to me for the rest of the day. Now it's 8 yrs later. Just the other day that happened again, she just rolled her eyes and went on about the day normally.

 

[Leopard125]

Tell your SO that you met the most intriguing woman at the gun range to day.
If see has even the least bit jealous bone on her body,you get a new range partner.:rofl:

Good luck on heating her up.

 

[limatunes]

You make progress any way you can.

It is nice to see people slowly become accustomed to such a thing. Even for people who aren't totally against it, seeing someone carrying a gun can be a big shock. It is, after all, not part of our society for those not in uniform.

I remember the first time my mother saw me carrying a gun... it was all she could stare at.

A couple of months later she could actually look at ME instead of the gun on my hip. What became a problem was when she started bragging about the fact I carry.. to stranger.. in restaurants.. and telling them what a "crack shot" I was. We had to have a little discussion about appropriate times to talk about those kinds of things.

Either way it was a process. She's knows you carry and is seeing that your gun isn't jumping out of its holster and mowing people down. She may never be ready to carry herself but she will better understand the mind of those who do and maybe when it's time for her to cast her vote she will remember people like you and me.

Keep boiling that frog (no matter how bad that sounds when used in reference to your wife).

 

[GM]

WOW, “boil the frog” was something new for me too; I never had heard it before. Thanks Sticks for the explanation. :smile:

 

[CowboyColby]

My new phrase for the day! Thanks for sharing, you learn something new everyday.

 

[WHEC724]

My new phrase for the day! Thanks for sharing, you learn something new everyday.

LOL. Yeah - but as limatunes mentioned, you probably never want to refer to your SO as 'the frog'. I certainly meant no disrespect to mine in doing so! :embarassed: Doh...

 

[3putt]

724...sorry to hear about that. Hopefully she will get past that and realize you are there for her and thats why you "gear up". My situation is a bit different; we "gear-up" together, practice together and enjoy hanging out with other's who do the same. I have noticed that my wife has more confidence and feels better knowing that she has the ability to protect herself should the need arise. Lets face it; women are easily targeted by slime balls who want something for nothing and its a good thing when your wife can be less afraid of those types of encounters.

 

[silo]

How do you guys deal with anti-gun wives? My wife is INCREDIBLY anti, so much that one day she said, "If you came home with a gun, you'd be sleeping at your parents." ...haha...

I thought I made some headway by saying, "If someone broke into the house tonight, what's our plan? Sit back in the room and hope he doesn't come upstairs to the kids room while we're busy calling 9-11? I want to be perched up at the top of those stairs ready to peg him when he comes up." To which she responded, "I don't want to have to explain to our two year old why there's a dead guy at the bottom of the steps." And I responded, "I do. That means we're alive."

She just doesn't get it, and I'm tired of hiding it. Any help would be appreciated.

 

[danhammondsr]

I've been "boiling the frog" with my lovely wife of 26 years since Kansas first allowed CC. She even gave me crap for CC when I first started and took it to a neighborhood BBQ. Then she announced she wanted to take the CCH course so she could use a gun for SD in the house.

I've been quietly CCing now for several years. She recently began to ask me if I had it prior to leaving the house. She wanted to make sure I did.

Just last week she went out with her girlfriends and CC'd herself (1st time in public). How's that for progress?

 

[BugDude]

Maybe it is the baby steps that are part of the problem?
You carry, she doesn't like it, but that hasn't changed anything.
Maybe not hiding it, but not flaunting it either will lead her to change her thinking sooner?
It must be uncomfortable living with an Anti, and I give all of you who do, much credit.

It can be challenging at times. My wife and I have been together for 24 years (married 16) and she knew I had guns and used to shoot a lot. She didn't know I kept a weapon in the truck. About a year ago I had to fire someone at work and it was a very bad situation (police, the state, etc). That's when I began carrying all of the time and we had some heated discussions at first. She's been ok with it for a while (not making snide comments) and didn't have any issues with me taking our 8 year old daughter to shoot when she expressed an interest. I have a gun safe and use cable locks and explained to her it was better to take the mystery out and teach her safe and responsible gun ownership than have it be some taboo. The anti side still pops its head up on occasion and I never know what will set it off. Apparently my purchase of her and I both pepper spray set it off recently. We went through the whole thing again (like a court case where she presented her arguments and my rebuttle, etc.) and she finally said I had made my point and it's been ok since. It's always in there just under the surface waiting for a reason to come out. That's ok...I've been married long enough I can take a good earfull and not flinch.

 

[Doc Holliday]

My wife is fine with it.

She didn't grow up around firearms but she knew it was part of the deal since day one.

She flipped out the first time I took her shooting. I foolishly handed her a 9mm and she didn't like it. Thankfully the range owner handed her a .22 Ruger pistol and she enjoyed shooting that.

We've been to the range a few times together now. She has now fired handguns from .22 from .45 ACP and can handle them without freaking out from the report/muzzle blast. When it comes to long guns she doesn't like shooting the 12 gauge which is understandable but she loves shooting my AR-15.

Defending your family is one of the most important roles that a man has. Continue doing what you are doing and in time she will come around. I do agree with the poster about pointing out violent crimes in the media, especially stuff close to home. Perhaps that will help to get her attention.

 

[ccw9mm]

However, this morning she was talking to me as I was getting ready for work ... She stared at me like I had three heads, made some sarcastic remarks and then gave me a peck on the cheek as I left.

There is one purpose to why you do what you do, with the firearms/training: to protect the family, her in particular.

That isn't a bad thing, no matter her demeanor. At some point, she'll realize it (or already has). Hopefully at some point she'll show it.

As to what would help you be aware of what would help her get their more easily, why not simply ask her?