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Carry Dilemma?

2531 Views 22 Replies 18 Participants Last post by  vzwnnj
Sometimes I go over to my aunt and uncles house to babysit my three cousins for awhile, the oldest being 12, the middle 8, and the youngest 5. Now, I know that my aunt and uncle are not anti-gun because they own hunting rifles, one belongs to the 12 yr old, and they also know that I own firearms and don't seem to have any problems with it, however they don't know that I carry. Anyway, whenever I go over there I feel like I should disarm, which is what I always end up doing. This is the only time I ever feel like I need to do this, and I feel bad leaving my weapon in the car like that. I would much rather just ask them but feel like they would get weirded out knowing that I carry a loaded gun on my person because even though they do own hunting rifles they are not really gun people like myself. (they always keep the rifles unloaded and locked away.) What do you guys think? Do you thinK I should just ask them? Should I just carry anyway? Or should I just keep doing what I'm doing?

Anybody else have this kind of problem?:confused:
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I would ask and see if they have a problem and go from there
I suggest ask. Because they may not want you armed while babysitting. But If it were me and I was that close to you I would welcome it because if there was a "BG" in the house you would stand a better chance of protecting the children. But some people i guess dont see things that way and may want you to disarm. I would talk to them about it. The worst they can say is no!
I think that it would be considered common courtesy to ask.

Here the law states that you must ask permission before entering a private dwelling. I dont know that its ever been tested, but it seems like the right thing to do anyway.
I would ask too. My bro knows I carry, and it doesn't bother him to be around my niece.
Well, what are you carrying and how?

What are the children like? Are they very active like to jump all over you and wrestle types?

I have found that when I have to be in the company of young children, a quality holster that offers sufficient retention for all day carry is adequate, plus I just keep it out of their sight.

Also, if the children are trained properly, that helps a lot too. My 8 year old cousin knows I have a gun on me, just like her daddy has one and her mom and her uncle and some of her aunts do. She knows guns are for grownups and big kids and she'll be in big trouble if she touches one. For her a gun is normal, and she's even fired a gun herself. When you take the mystery out of a thing like a gun, the temptation to "play" with it goes away.

Plus, as I alluded to before, out of sight out of mind. Younger children have a lack of abstract thinking faculties. Take something out of their immediate sight and they're likely to forget about it quickly when something else stimulating comes along.

There are some considerations to make... off body carry is a big no no, and I don't pocket carry around small children either. Take reasonable precautions and keep it concealed.

I've had exactly one opportunity to mind several small children for about an hour in a very crowded place while carrying. Honestly, your vigilance can only go so far. If someone were to try something, a firearm is a tool you'd be grateful you had. I personally would never let anyone take away a child of any age... I'd take the shot and if I was unarmed I'd still be on the kidnapper like stink on poo. I was glad to be armed.

Just as important here is the situational awareness and tactics that could apply.

Do the kids know what to do if there's a stranger around, etc.? Do they know how to dial 911? Do they have a plan in place in case of fire, etc.? Have you surveyed the area and thought about what to do if you had a situation?

And at the end of the day, it all comes down to this: You're the adult, and that means doing things that are for the best even if it's inconvenient or uncomfortable. Take some basic precautions and all should be well I would imagine.

If these people trust you with their precious children, the fact you are armed is immaterial.
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Euclidean said:
If these people trust you with their precious children, the fact you are armed is immaterial.
That's the most important thing IMO. It all comes down to trust. If you can be trusted with kids, you can be trusted with kids and a gun. Personally I would consider an armed and competent babysitter to be a huge advantage over an unarmed one.
my ccw is part of me. i wouldnt ask anyone for acceptance, and i certainly wouldnt disarm to please someone else. if you feel obligated for some reason, inform them that you carry. if they dont like it, tell them to find another baby-sitter.
If it were me, I would ask. After all it is there house, and children. I feel its just the respectfull thing to do.

If you are unconfortable asking, get a vehical gunsafe instaled. I recomend doing that anyhow. In case you do go somewhere else where firearms are a no no.

If you ask and they arnt confortable with the idea. Mabe ask if you can use their firearms. After all you are there for the safty of the kids.

The kids do get pretty active and every once in awhile I'll give the younger ones a piggyback ride or something. As for my current carry setup it consists of a SIG P226, IWB @ 4 o'clock. I do admit my holster is not the best (uncle mikes kydex) and It usually needs minor adjustment after standing up or crouching. But as for the gun actually falling out of the holster I can say the retention is good. Other than one of the kids hitting their noggin' on the grip when they charge at me (which the youngest does sometimes) there wouldn't be any way that they know of my gun. As far as having a backup plan incase of a situation the only other weapons I carry is a 2oz Fox pepper spray which I keep in my jacket in the closet, but I guess I could always grab a knife in the kitchen if I needed too arm myself quickly. I think I'll take everyones advise and just ask them how they feel about it next time I see them. That way if I have to go unarmed I'll know I never had a choice.:icon_neutral:
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Do NOT be unarmed if at all possible. You have precious lives in your hands.

The gun on your person is about as secure as it gets and as ever - concealed is concealed.!! Ideally yes - a courtesy measure is desirable and if these are gun folks I don't see any problem. But - big but!!

I am firmly of the opinion that if folks trust me - for me and what I am, then having a carry piece should NOT alter anything. My gun does not jump out of its own volition and wreak havok - it is in my control and so - if I am a trusted person - trust my gun too.

What I am saying is - I might on occasions not mention my carry status but would hope anyways that trust is across the board. If I feel or am led to believe I am not trusted, as a carrier of a firearm - then I will most probably not be seen again. Trust is unconditional IMO.
NaturalSelection said:
my ccw is part of me. i wouldnt ask anyone for acceptance, and i certainly wouldnt disarm to please someone else. if you feel obligated for some reason, inform them that you carry. if they dont like it, tell them to find another baby-sitter.
Thats a good concept and if it were anyone other than my family I would just refuse like you say, but the way I look at it is I would rather be there to protect them even if I was unarmed than someone else who isn't quite as vigilant as myself. I'll ask them about it and let everyone know what their response is.
They're family, ask.
Just A Suggestion

If the kids are going to be hanging on you and you are going to be playing around with them & wrestling, "fooling around", & giving piggyback rides to kids...then unload your firearm in the car before you enter their home.
Keep your ammo & your firearm on your person but, ammo separated from your unloaded firearm.

I normally do not allow very much bodily contact AT ALL to my person when I am carrying & especially not from...or around kids.

I do not trust any kids in close body contact with me and my holstered loaded firearm.
My alert condition immediately skyrockets when I am in direct body contact with other people.
Being on a constant high condition alert is not the best way to have good, honest, fun with children.

Oh...& do yourself a huge favor and dump the Uncle Mike's holster for concealment.
Just my personal opinion on that.

BTW I don't think anybody has the right to tell a forum member to carry a loaded firearm around somebody else's their private home.
The parents of the kids should absolutely be made aware of the fact that he is carrying a firearm and in their home in close proximity with their kids.

If they don't like the idea then they can tell him stay home or leave his firearm at home and he can then decide not to babysit those kids.

Some people just never want any firearms around their children and in their own home...that is their absolute right.
If we want people to respect OUR rights then we need to respect their rights.
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jiggz01 said:
I would rather be there to protect them even if I was unarmed
you cant protect them if you are unarmed. your kitchen knife is a joke to the thug with the stolen .38. im not criticizing you for whatever choice you make, i just hope to encourage thought.
QKShooter said:
...then unload your firearm in the car before you enter their home.
Keep your ammo & your firearm on your person but, ammo separated from your unloaded firearm.
Well, I have a different take. If you have one in the pipe, I'd remove that one, but leave the mag in. It doesn't take that much to rack one, but to slap the clip in and then rack is an extra step
You can choose your friends...but not your family

jiggz01 said:
Anybody else have this kind of problem?:confused:
My sisters are both extremely anti-gun. I was the chief babysitter in charge of my nephew from the time I was 13 years old. So I basically raised the kid. Even today, she claims the reason the kid is so conservative and pro-gun is because he once lived in Texas!

My other sister lives in Boston and when I stopped in on my way to my first duty station, I naturally took all my handguns along, in checked baggage. The first thing she did when she met my plane was to whisper fiercely: Do you have any of those blankety blank GUNS with you? If so, I can't be driving with them in my car! I calmly told her she had a choice: Either drive very carefully from the airport and back to for my departure, or I'd get right back on the plane and continue my trip. We had a fine time during my visit.

My sisters always knew where I stood. They knew as soon as the CCW was legal in 1987, I was carrying all the time. Sis here knew if I showed up at her home and didn't remove my outer garment like my coat or VEST....that was the deal. So, it was never really an issue. Except she expected me to keep my pro-gun conservative politics to myself at her parties and I was fine with that.
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I do what dpesec does. remove the one in the pipe, load it back into the mag and reinsert mag.
i trust my safety on the 1911 but its kids. i'll do all in my power to protect and with kiddy horseplay and 1 in the pipe "i" won't do that. i honestly don't expect trouble so 1 in the pipe is extreme for me around my kids but i still have my fully loaded mag in and ready.
i have two small kids myself, one 3 and one 9 months. I am their protector, no one else. It is my responsibility as a parent to do so. I make those decisions. It is those parents right to make that decision. if you were my nephew, and took the correct courses to obtain your ccw and I already 'trusted' you with my children, I would not have a problem, BUT I would want to be notified, that you were carrying. That is only fair and respectful to the parents and your family. I have a very similar situation, actually with my nephew, our deal is:
no chambered rounds if rough housing. And if you take it off your person, if gets locked into my gun room-period. I do not want a loaded firearm,or partially loaded firearm just sitting around. The gun room is a hot-no touch room for my 3y/o daughter and it stays locked, mostly because most of the firearms in side are loaded. Maybe they don't have a "room" but maybe a safe or something you could use. I commend you for having the respect and forethought to even think of this issue, do you want another job, can you read a good bed time story?? lol. I have pretty strict rules though, because NOTHING means more than the safety of my kids. My avatar says it all, and yes that is my son.
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I have been carrying concealed for nearly fourty years and have developed some rather strong feelings about carrying concealed. Let me share one of my most dearly held feelings. That being nobody gets to know that I carry concealed - ever! Other that my very closest family nobody knows that I carry. About twenty years ago I told some close friends (and they were close friends) that I was carrying concealed. Well, one friend told another, and then another, and it wasn't long before people I knew less well were asking me why I carried. Word gets around because people will talk! Carrying concealed means concealed and the less folk that know I carry the better for all.

So, my advice is to continue to legally carry; don't let folk know that you carry; and just go on with life.
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