People who don't want to carry, won't. The best you can do is express your love and concern and maybe one day she'll come around. Take it from a divorce'ee that nagging or trying forcing her to do it is absolutely the wrong way to go.

 

What he said....the bottom line is will she shoot someone if she has to or brandish it only long enough to get it taken away and used on her? Usually when they have children they look at things way different and may have the right mindset then to do what may need to be done. Until then Bear OC gas and a Taser is an option as well.

 

How many victims do you think, say well, ok, I'm going to be a victim today, what should I wear?

 

Suggest that she consider reading the material created (posts, blogs, web site, YouTube videos) by the following two Defensive Carry members: Pax; and LimaTunes.

Each can help provide the woman's, mother's perspective on the reality of keeping the family safe in today's world.

The real world includes Alaska. She might not take your word for the fact that surviving violence isn't an "insurance" game. Perhaps she'll consider a glimpse into how common violence is, even in Alaska.

• Violence Facts: Alaska
• UAA Justice Center @ University of Alaska at Anchorage
• Alaska Victimization Survey, 2010 -- violence against women in Alaska
• Violent Offenses, Alaska 2002-2010
• Violent Crime Statistics, Alaska 1960-2010

 

Big can of bear whoopass otherwise known as bear spray,will work on smaller critters too,Not too sure how much deterrent spray is if she surprises a sow with cubs,from what I hear the bear spray may not stop a sow protecting her young.
As far as 2 legged animals it sounds like your wife likes living in denial,as long as she doesn't think about it then it won't happen...until it does,

 

Big can of bear whoopass otherwise known as bear spray,will work on smaller critters too,Not too sure how much deterrent spray is if she surprises a sow with cubs,from what I hear the bear spray may not stop a sow protecting her young.

I'll second this. at least get her to take some spray.

 

Good luck, my wife and I got our permits together, she has a Walther PK380 that she really liked, shoots it real good. 2 years now and she has not carried it out of the house once other then two trips with me to the range where she shot a total of 50 rnds. Most women, (not all) don't think like we do about carrying and self defense, don't nag her, just lead her on a little here and there with suddle hints.

 

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. Express your fears to her, give her the facts on violence in your area. Remind her that animals will react violently when startled or feel their territory is threatened or their young are endangered. Once she's armed with the fact, it is up to her to decide what to do.

 

+1

Think about some alternative weapons she could promise you to carry with her (e.g. bear spray, stun gun for two-legged animals). Other than that, maybe she will react to the facts that ccw9mm noted. However, you cannot force her to carry a deadly weapon!

I wasn't anti-gun before I got my permit, but for me it took two home invasions in our town with gruesome details of how the wives were raped while the husbands were tied up and had to listen to the whole thing. THAT'S when I decided I can't just always hope for the best and tell myself that it only happens to other people, people that live in a bad neighborhood or in the bigger cities.

 

Thanks alot everyone. Appreciate the replies and help. I've some how got to get her past the state of kind of it hasn't happened yet type of deal. Ill see what I can do.


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It's her decision. Ultimately. It's hard for some people to come to terms with because we want to protect those we love but her is an adult and capable of deciding what she does and does not want in her life. That includes a gun.

I know that's not the response you were looking for but the fact of the matter is that no one has the magic phrase or word or thing that is going to suddenly make the light come on for your wife and make her decide to carry.

I wrote a blog about this subject.. Limatunes' Range Diary: I Can't Help Your Wife

Not that I'm any kind of authority but I think there are some things to think about anyway.

 

Awesome blog thanks it was a good read


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Alot of the reasons I want her to carry she doesn't seem to get. Alot of the things she has to deal with would be bears, wolves when walking with my daughter, bull moose can even be a threat. And as sad as it is lately there has been what the police call mob beating. 3-4 kids are randomly just beating up someone. It's stupid but I dare them to try. Alaska's population would lose 3-4.


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Best of luck to you, on convincing her to carry. But, you do realize, a .380 or 9mm probably isnt going to do much of anything to protect against bears and moose. If you really a good shot you might stop a wolf after several well placed shots. To reialbly stop bears and moose require guns like 500 s&w, or 454 casul, large fast really hard hitting cartridges and great shot placement. Sure if I lived in alaska Id walk around with one strapped on my hip, being a die hard outdoorsman and all. But they are not pleasant guns to go fire at the range, and thats coming from a man sized man, not a woman. However, I do agree that a .380 or 9mm is a whole lot better than being unarmed and they would stop a mob beating very fast most likely.

Im currently trying to get my wife to carry, it is going pretty good. She is a very good shot with her. 380 and now enjoys shooting 1911's and is ready to take her class. I need to find her a 9mm she likes. We will see how much she actually carries. When we got together, she had only shot a .222 rifle. Over the years ive got her shooting pistols, rifles, shotguns and turned her into an avid deer hunter. She started with a 30/06 and now thinks my 300 mag belongs to her practically. So it can be done. Baby steps is my advice. If you know a way to turn my wife into a hardcore waterfowler like me I'd appreciate that advice. Shes not a fan of cold weather, or waking up at 4:30 am.

 

As already posted there is no secret answer or method. I have however been successful with three different women concerning introductions to using a handgun.
I simply set up a very non-competitive shooting using a 22 pistol. Somewhere out in the woods camping or fishing and just shooting at some cans. "Hey lets go plink some cans, it's a lot of fun!" This way they could shoot without feeling they were being 'watched' or judged. The 22 didn't give them a kick to scare them into thinking they couldn't handle a firearm. I made sure to have hearing protection so they didn't have a really loud bang.
The goal was to create a first time experience that was fun, non-competitive and non-frightening. I never talked to them about carrying or doing anything other than what we were doing at that time which was shooting cans. The reaction in all three cases was the same.

"Oh wow, that was a lot easier than I thought it was gonna be."

"Well, that was not so bad."

"Show me how to load that thing will ya?"

All three women now carry. But they came to that decision all on their own. And it was curiosty that led them to ask if I would show them how to shoot a larger caliber.

Good luck in your effort.

 

Is a tough subject; how do you make someone ready for violence that has never experienced it or it's not part of their everyday life. I don't think you can, remembers the old saying "necessity is the mother of invention". This is no different, if she feels safe in her world she will not change. do what I do and that is constantly bring "up what if's” when you see something wither it be on the news or in real life; it will turn the tables and she will see something different but you need to give her time... remember "men are hunters and woman are gathers" from the book... men are from mars, woman are from Venus

 

Thanks for all the replies appreciate it.


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My wife and I got our permits at the same time. She carries a Walther PK380, but not as often as I'd like her to. You can't make her see things your way. I understand the burden you feel to protect her, as this is something I often wrestle with myself. It would be so much easier if she would just take her gun with her whenever she leaves the house, but there's always an excuse. It pokes her in the side, she has the babies with her, it's too hot, she wants to lose weight first blah blah blah... I just hope she has it with her if something ever happens. Some women seem to be more comfortable with pepper spray or tasers.

 

That is an uphill battle but mostly it has to come from her. You can only try to convince somebody so much.

 

don't lose hope. over a 30-year span, my wife went from, "I don't like guns", to, "you can get one if you want", to, "do you know a good class i could take?" to, "do you have a gun i could borrow?" along the way, she also went from my wife, to my ex-wife, to my girlfriend. it's a long, ultimately happy story that's irrelevent to this discussion.

in her first class, and first time shooting, every group from 7-8 guns, from .22 to .45 was 1.5" to 2" except when she was shooting full power .357 Magnum. then her groups opened up to perhaps 3". yes, this was only at 12 feet, but i was impressed. because i knew the instructor, i was allowed to sit in on the range session.

she has since found another woman colleague to shoot with, and she has my loaded Colt Detective Special in a fast access box in her home. she has talked about getting her CPL, but has not yet done so. i remind her about this from time to time.

 

My wife is all for carrying. She only wants the time to take the class and some range time with her gun. While range time is not required in Virginia she just feels better getting as much range time as possible.

 

Tough spot. You can only protect her when you are there and it is hard to feel like she isn't willing to protect herself. It probably isn't really that way, but from my experience with my wife I understand. She does not like guns but now accepts that I carry. It was a long hard road just to get to that point. Be positive, do not try to scare her into it. My wife, and other ladies have said that doesn't work, and actually seems to have the opposite effect.

Lead by example and when she sees that it is not as scary or dangerous as she thinks maybe she will change her mind. I pray for my wife to reconsider getting hers, but it is a baby step process. Good luck, stay safe.

 

I agree with others - and IMO nagging or badgering about it may make her even less likely to consider it.

I never had a problem with other people having guns, I just did not want any in my house. When I met my husband, he was OK with it, he'd had a gun in the past but didn't at that time over the next 14 years that was fine. I'm a bit of a news junkie so I know that we don't live in a very nice world, but there's always that 'it won't happen to me' or 'call 911' thought and quite honestly even though I was once grabbed on the street in college, I fought him off quite successfully with just a little thing of mace and shoving. Heck, my fil even had to defend himself and his wife with lethal force and I'd heard the story many times but there was still that 'it happens to other people" or 'it was after a natural disaster and therefore a different situation' thought. It wasn't until last year when someone tried to get in MY door while I was home that I realized I needed a better tool to protect myself and my kids. It hit home then, finally. I was shocked to find I loved going to the range and enjoy shooting. It's not a scary thing to me anymore. What's hilarious is now I have my permit and carry daily, my husband does not. I have become very interested and love to read about different makes and models, when someone tries to talk guns with my husband he says "you need to talk to my wife, I don't know what you're talking about" LOL

My advice is not to pressure her. Maybe ask her why she's opposed to the idea and really listen to her feelings about it. Try and get her to the range - not with 'I want you to buy one' or 'I want you to carry' - but simply 'I'd feel more comfortable if you learned how to safely handle it since it's in our home'. Maybe she'll surprise herself and you and like it. Even if she doesn't, don't pressure her about it. Take her to dinner afterwards either way. I'm guessing you knew she wasn't a gun person when you married her so you may have to accept that she's not going to come around or if she does it will be on her terms when she's ready.

 

let her read this ;Details reveal murdered college student tried desperately to fend off attacker



Details reveal murdered college student tried desperately to fend off attacker | Fox News

 

Well for hiking I'd get her a 44 magnum that would otherwise stay on the safe. For personal carry I'd let he try multiple guns but I think she would like the m&p.


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Dance partners

I adopted a different teaching approach to appeal to female students. It is as much an art as science. They learn differently, and with the right approach make more conscientious students than many men. Look for a class that is tailored for women and encourages learning through discussion rather than relying on statistics and show-and-tell lectures. Women trust each other, feed off each other, and are more relaxed in their own company than in a male dominated enviornment. An out of town trip with dinner and music after class will enhance the experience.

It has been my observation that husbands and boyfriends frequently lack the credibility and teaching techniques to suceed with their loved one on this subject and do more harm than good. The best thing I ever did for my wife was to step aside and let another hand picked instructor have a dance.

 

I went through this with my wife recently and am happy to say she just completed her PTC class 2 weeks ago and it was all her idea. In my experience, you can't nag or even tell her why she should carry, all that needs to come from her. I would say the best thing you can do is just start taking her shooting just to spend some time together having fun and put no further expectations on it. Expose her to guns as much as you can without putting any pressure on her whatsoever. If you have a chance to change her mind, that will probably yield the best results, at least it did in my experience.

 

It took me 25 years to get my wife to make my lunch so I could just throw it in the cooler at 4am when I left for work. And it took 12 years to convince her to return to work! I'm making progress! I had her convinced at one time to at least have a gun nearby at home so if she needed it she'd have it. But none of my guns made her happy. So due to lack of money we did not go there.

These are a few things that I've learned over the last 27 years of marriage.
1. If I tell her, it ain't gonna happen!
2. I can't teach her anything. She learned motorcycle riding at a school. Even though I've been riding for 35 years.
3. My idea of patience and hers are two very different things.

I wish you luck in convincing your wife. They are all different. So maybe your luck will be better than mine!

 

Alaska is a very dangerous place for a female as indicated by the homicide rate against them.

They are THIRD highest in the nation, only behind N. Dakota and Nebraska.
Homicide victims by sex statistics - states compared - StateMaster Crime


Rank States Amount
# 1 North Dakota: 60 %
Crime in North Dakota

# 2 Nebraska: 57.1 %
Crime in Nebraska

# 3 Alaska: 55.9 %
Crime in Alaska

# 4 Montana: 50 %
Crime in Montana

# 5 Vermont: 46.2 %
Crime in Vermont

# 6 Maine: 42.9 %
Crime in Maine

# 7 Oregon: 42.4 %
Crime in Oregon

# 8 Wyoming: 40 %
Crime in Wyoming

# 9 Iowa: 39.1 %
Crime in Iowa

# 10 Kansas: 37.9 %
Crime in Kansas






DEFINITION: Percent of homecide victims by sex - female


SOURCE: Bureau of Justice Statistics


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