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'The Villages' Dating Ads

You can say what you want about Florida, but you never hear of
anyone retiring and moving north.


These are actual ads seen in ''The Villages'' Florida newspaper.


Who says seniors don't have a sense of humor


FOXY LADY


Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty,
80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'),

Searching for sharp-looking,

sharp-dressing companion.

Matching white shoes and belt a plus.
------------------------------ ----------------------


LONG-TERM COMMITMENT

Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband,
Looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot.

Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath,

not a problem.
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SERENITY NOW

I am into solitude, long walks,

sunrises, the ocean, yoga,

and meditation.

If you are the silent type,

let's get together, take our hearing aids

out and enjoy quiet times.

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WINNING SMILE

Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks,

corn on the cob and caramel candy.

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BEATLES OR STONES

I still like to rock,

still like to cruise in my Camaro

on Saturday nights

and still like to play the guitar.

If you were a groovy chick,

or are now a groovy hen,
let's get together

and listen to my eight-track tapes.


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MEMORIES

I can usually remember

Monday throughThursday

If you can remember

Friday, Saturday and Sunday,

let's put our two heads together..
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My favorite


MINT CONDITION

Male, 1932 model, high mileage,

good condition, some hair,

many new parts including

hip, knee, cornea, valves.

Isn't in running condition,

but walks well.


AND FINALLY


A lady in the Villages in Florida (a senior retirement community),

was sitting on a bench, near another

bench with a gentleman sitting on the bench.

She asked him if he was new to the community and he said "no, I have owned a condo here for 20 years".

She then said "I have been here for 15 years and

I have never seen you around!".

He then said "I have been in prison for the last 17 years!".

She was stunned and finally asked him what he had done.

He said that he had murdered his first wife!

She was stunned again and after a long pause she said.



So you're SINGLE???
 

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The Villages is a hot mess of STDs. Apparently folks at that stage of life still enjoy nooky, but don't bother with condoms. When anywhere near those retirement centers I wash my hands often and use plenty of hand sanitizer.
 

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There are many different dating sites where you could get acquainted with a filipino girl. The question is how effective they are. I've been recommended to try this filipino dating site. What can I say, the site's not bad, it's free and I found quite a number of dating profiles that seemed to be genuine. But don't get too excited, you'll need to be really cool master of seduction to get something done right.
 

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It's a wild place where a house or condo goes on the sales market and is sold within 30 minutes. Have known several people that has tried to buy there and went to look at a house and by the time they got to the home it was sold.
 

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The Villages is a hot mess of STDs. Apparently folks at that stage of life still enjoy nooky, but don't bother with condoms. When anywhere near those retirement centers I wash my hands often and use plenty of hand sanitizer.
This is completely true.
 

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No, I do not live at The Villages. Couldn't stand to be around that many old farts.
 

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'The Villages' Dating Ads

You can say what you want about Florida, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north.

When I retired, we moved from Southwest Florida to Northwest Oregon. I voted for a sailboat in the Caribbean and my wife voted to be near her family. We compromised and moved to Northwest Oregon.
 

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I always enjoyed driving slow behind the driverless Cadillacs and Lincoln Towncars. When you got alongside the car, you could see the little old white-haired lady driving while looking between the dash and underneath the top of the steering wheel.
 
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