[The Tourist]

Like most people in their 50's, I have to go to the hospital today for some tests as an adjunct to my physical.

The trouble with these tests is that I have been given some supplements and I've been told to fast from all food. I'm groggy, tired, a tad head-achy, and the docs recommend that my wife even drive me to the facility.

And yet, I have the same needs for safety and security that anyone else does. After all, a mugger doesn't know my condition from just looking at me. An aggressor might say, "Gee, that old biker is hung-over."

As gun guys, do you think I should be armed during this period? I have been given a strong drug--strong enough to clean my system and make a 250 pound weight lifter want to stay in bed.

Would you feel safe around people in this condition?

 

[The Tourist]

You're not in your right mind.

Yes, I know. This was a 'gun' question.

 

[The Tourist]

Well, it's 'water weight.'

you've got plenty of sharp, pointy things and a 250 pound body.

Pointy things, yes. I'm down to 247. Yikes.

 

[The Tourist]

Taps,

Not to worry. I'm back home safe, I've rested, played cards with the church elder and his wife, had a big Perkins breakfast and I'm back on my meds. Took my Harley out and scared a bunch of flat-landers back to Illinois.

(In Wisconsin, we pronouce that Ill In Noise.)

All in all, I'm grumpy, lecherous, volatile, moody, lecherous, itinerant, self-absorbed, flatuent, opinionated, hostile, lecherous, blue-eyed, too-fast-for-conditions and hungry all of the time.

On the whole, I'm feeling like my old self after the surgery.

Oh, BTW, the biker chicks at the shop look really good...

 

[The Tourist]

Bumper,

The heat doesn't bother me. Just stick a few agave cacti in the juice blender and I can tough it out.