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Discussion Starter #1
Ok, heres a scenario i'm living.
Just found out over the july 4th weekend that my wife has decided to leave me. been married for 18 years now, last 2+ been kinda rough but nothing to this extent. so i have been taken completely off guard by this. then mix my 4 yr old son into it..god.

now for "my" scenario.
i have really reduced the time i carry to almost to "0". its only been a week, i know, since i found all this out, but with a lack of concentration/attention to detail on my part, as my brain has been a hurricane of thoughts/confusion, i just cant' "trust" myself with a loaded gun. my thoughts are completely jumbled even though gun handling is almost a second nature to me. too costly to mess up/have accident with a gun.
Just one of my recent carry issues that has arose for me, makes being "made" for me seem pale.

How many of you have rethought a "to carry" decision on account of a 'foggy' brain?

(and a lighter note & to pile insult to injury i am expecting delivery of my Maxcon V and mag pouch in a few weeks!!)

(and to Eric L., i feel for ya buddy, i read your post and all the responses from back in June and it is killing me)
 

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These kind of thing's i don't Like to talk about been there Done this I will say i put the gun up for a whole week i think then was back to carrying only time i was seeing x was in court so couldn't carry there anyways .. But i will wish you the best
 

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Sorry to hear that bud... Your making a good decision NOT carrying... I wish you well with managing yourself... I'm sure there will be plenty of us in here if you need to get you mind off it or just need to vent...
 

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Bad state of affairs and I can identify with your mental turmoil.

I think for any one person in this situation - you have to make the decisions you feel best - meaning, none of us can categorically say ''cease carry'' or ''continue carry'' - it has to be down to how responsible and stable you feel.

Chances are on balance it is wise to not carry while in a highly charged emotional state but then OTOH are you perhaps also less aware and so more vulnerable.

I think your conscience has to be the judge on this and hope this degree of upheaval will not be too long sustained.
 

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I think you are doing the right thing by putting the piece down for a bit. I would however continue to carry the knife and whatever else you carry with you though.

I haven't been married for 18 years nor have I ever gotten married so far. But I would bet that things are extremly tough right now. Just hang in there and do the best you can, keep your head up and try to stay in good spirits to help with this and for your son.


Ti.
 

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I'm sorry to hear that solo, i bet we'd all be surprised how many of us can sympathize with your situation. I agree with P95, not a good idea to carry when your in such a highly charged emotional state. But like he said, dont allow that to make you more succeptable to an attack. Personally, carrying gives me a sense of sercurity and calmness. Maybe try it out now and see how you feel before completely deciding not to carry.....
 

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My heart goes out to you. My ex divorced me about 6 years ago. We are each better off for it, but even under the best of conditions, a split is gut-wrenching and anguishing.

As for the carry/no-carry issue, man, that's up to you. Yes, I think emotional distress is a good and valid reason for choosing not to carry.

Do what feels right to YOU. If you have a question about your capabilities, lay off until it feels right again, TO YOU. If you're OK with carrying, or feel your capabilities are not compromised, continue. Only you can decide.

FWIW, it sounds like you are employing excellent judgment during this very bad time in your life.

Get some counselling, too, and see that your boy gets it. Thankfully, he may not be old enough for it really get to him.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
i'd hafta say it does make me more "vulnerable" and i'm gonna have to get back the mental state of alertness i had only 10 days ago.
i have found myself noticing my own lack of situational awareness and begin to look around more. noticing things.

once i calm my brain a bit and i am sure i won't have any lapses in judgements (ie, cocking, not locking, then holstering my 1911) then carry will resume. its not far away, i hope, just a few days/weeks and my brain will return to a state of "new" normal.

i know many have gone before me down this road...yet i thought i would never pass down it myself.

sorry..i am off topic of this forum, but i appreciate the support.
 

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You have made a good decision. One of my favorite quotations is "And it came to pass..." Most things do and they get better.
 

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Sorry to hear about your situation. I wish there were words that I could give to console. But somtimes when people try the words just sound cheap. So for I agree with the rest of the posters. Stress, despair and anger all mixed can do funny things to a person. It can make you do things you would never do otherwise. I'll be praying for you.
 

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Hang in there Solo. You are your best judge of when you think you are ready to carry again. Looks like you have a lot of support on this board and hopefully from your family.
 

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Best to keep a cool head and in your case refrain from carrying for a while as you are doing.

Another thing to think about is to be as amiable as possible so things will go as well as possible( under these extremely difficult circumstances) and so she doesn't slap you with a restraining order.

My ex left me (after nine yrs of marriage) while I was on a 7 month Mediterranean deployment in 1985/1986. It was a hard time, but I survived, my oldest son (only child from that marriage) was 7 at the time, but he and I are closer now than before the divorce. If nothing else keep in touch with your son, you'll regret it if you don't.

I remarried back in 1992, and after trying for a while we now have a 4 yr old son as you do (and we want another). I'll be 50 in September, so it is never too late to start again.
 

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Solo, I feel for you man. My first wife left me at one year with another guy and then shows up weeks later with boyfriend while I'm putting the finishing touches on the cleaning job on my Dan Wesson .357. I did manage a hurculean internal moral struggle that day. I'm glad you have the sense to know when to put something down for a short time in a situation like this. Having a child in the middle is even harder. I don't want to sound shallow but no matter how it comes out you will get it all straight again. Just keep your head on straight and hang in there. I tell myself that all the time on the worst days with my situation as well. Pray hard, look up and we'll pray for you too.

Eric
 

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I feel you are making a good decision trusting your instincts by not carrying. You will no when the time is right to strap on the leather again. Hang tough, and keep a cool head through all of this.
Mike
 

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Part of knowing when to carry is knowing when not to. Sounds like you know when you shouldn't carry.

There have been times when I have chosen not to carry because I was upset. Not because I was afraid I would use my weapon, but because I was afraid I would be armed but basically walking around in White.

I've been married 19 years, and I can't imagine what you are going through. I'm sorry. Lawyer up, because you are only hurting yourself if you don't.
 

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Been there, done that. It really, really, really sucks. Did I mention it sucks? 20 years, 3 kids. And now I'm closer to my kids than my ex is.

You are making the right decision to not carry, in my opinion. Emotions are bound to run high for you. When you get past it, and that may be months or even years, it will be better. But until then, for the sake of yourself and your son, I'd say not carrying is the right choice.

And if your ex goes the path of mine, she might try to falsely get a "restraining order" against you. She did it just before the child support hearing to make me look bad. Didn't work, but in Fl that means surrender your guns.

Might be a good time to sell them to a friend.

And definitely time to get a great attorney. Remember, divorce is so expensive because it is worth it.

Hang in there. You aren't alone, Solo. Ears and heart go out to ya.

And if it is any hope, know that it can work out. I'm now married to my "soul mate" and as mentioned before, my kids and I are closer.
 

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I honestly would agree with dont carry right now ... if needed ( only you can decide ) put most / all firearms with a buddy for storeage for the short term . Dont run out and start selling guns tho .. This feeling is something you have to work thro ... Selling off your guns is something you wont work thro .. I have been married 26 years , our children are grown . so i cant really identify other than the experiance of thinking all is well and then finding out it isnt ( that has happened a fiew times ) . Best of wishes to you and dont do anything you might regret ..
 

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I know there's nothing I can say to make you feel much better, I truly wish I could.

I think your concern regarding carrying demonstrates the kind of professionalism we hope we find not only in other CCW'ers but also ourselves. Right on man!

I got the name “Thumper” for a reason. It’s short for “Bible Thumper” and I’m sure it’s a term of endearment? :confused:

Anyway, I have to say this and I hope I don’t offend you or anyone else in any way, but in a time like this the Lord is there to help you through it! All you have to do is ask.

Nuff said. Hang tuff man. You’re doing better than good! :hand10:
 

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Solo, you "know" you best, I beleive you are making the right choice too.....

It can be very tough, these folks are giving you all the best advice....
get a Lawyer, stay in touch with your son, hang up your gun for awhile....
 
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