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The other day I came home from work and found a bum sleeping in the entry way of my apartment building. I told him if he didn't get up and leave immediately I was going to call the cops. He told me to "Buzz Off" and I pulled out my phone (I've noticed that the guys who dare you to call the cops leave the second you do) and he left.

Later I talked to my wife about it and we decided that if she ran into a tweaker like that she was not to enter the building. If she was coming out she was to go back to the apartment and call security or the cops.

We've also discussed that in the event of trouble while we're out and about she is to get away from me and out of the (potential) line of fire. Last night we stopped at Walmart on the way home from church and some guy came stumbling up to our car on his way into the store. Nothing happened but he seemed off so I just kind of kept an eye on him. The guy was in his mid forties and had his pants dragging so low his ass (not his boxers, his ASS) was half exposed and he was stumbling like he was drunk. After he passed I turned around and my wife has moved to the front of the car away from me as planned.

My wife is handicapped and has to use an electric cart in the store, we've also discussed that while I take the cart back to the store she's to get in the car and start it. If anything happens she is to leave and she can come back later to pick me up.

We also have a code word. Neither one of us smokes but if one says the other "I want to go have a cigarette" we know it's time to go no questions asked.

So I said all that to ask this "Does anyone else plan this stuff out with your Spouse/SO?" Do you have a basic idea what each person is supposed to do in an emergency?
 

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No, we don't. We probably should. My wife is not into that kind of thing. She doesn't like to think about it. And while she is basically a smart person, she gets flustered easily. if we had something pre-rehearsed, she would probably forget it or mess it up. If I had the chance, I would give her explicit instructions at the time based on the situation. Other than that, she is a complete dependent when it comes to security.

My personal plan is to be armed, be aware, not let any stranger get too close, be civil to everyone I meet, but also be thinking of how I would disable them quickly if I had to.
 

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Mostly we've discussed escape routes for various common situations like in a restaurant or supermarket, Walmart, etc. We both carry so we have also discussed how to spread out so as to divide the attention of a threat.
 

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My wife and I both carry and we discuss tactics regularly. We train together at the range regularly. We shoot each other's guns regularly. Yet, unfortunately, I know we don't have a plan for every situation.
 

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My wife and I both carry and we discuss tactics regularly. We train together at the range regularly. We shoot each other's guns regularly. Yet, unfortunately, I know we don't have a plan for every situation.
I wish my wife would want to carry, but she does not. Good for y'all.
I do not believe it is possible to train for every situation.
How much fun would life be if all you ever think about is how evil is going to get you.
Be prepared, but live your life.
That is my motto.
I plan to have as much fun as I possibly can with the time I am on this planet
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I wish my wife would want to carry, but she does not. Good for y'all.
I do not believe it is possible to train for every situation.
How much fun would life be if all you ever think about is how evil is going to get you.
Be prepared, but live your life.
That is my motto.
I plan to have as much fun as I possibly can with the time I am on this planet
Going through what ifs trains your brain. If there's an emergency your mind starts flipping through a little Rolodex in your head looking for an appropriate response and if it doesn't find one it will continue to cycle through that loop. Going through what ifs even if you never actually do them gives your mind a card to read when it's looking through that Rolodex
 

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I would not confront the person and call 911.

Once we took a Lyft and it was getting dark in unfamiliar territory, I was in front passenger seat and my wife and son in the back. We were in DC for meetings. My wife had to make cell call and asked driver to please turn down radio. Driver said his car, his rules, if we don't like that then get out of car. Driver pulled car over and stopped. This was a very dangerous situation since it was now dark driving through neighborhood that looked potentially unsafe to me. Immediately I interjected and deescalated the driver by saying music was fine and no worries. He said, ”really?” I said yes and started to speak with him in Spanish, asking him where he was from and how is it being a Lyft driver. We got back to hotel without event. Once we were inside our room I called 911 and reported what happened including driver and car details including license plate number. I called/filed complaint with Lyft after we left DC. The point is I always try to not get into bad situations. It has happened to me where it could not be avoided and I had to use force to defend my wife and myself against three very aggressive attackers (3 on 1, I severely injured and incapacitated the ringleader and the two other attackers gave up and dragged him away before the police showed up). I prevailed but I don't want to go through that again unless I have to do so to protect my wife and family.
 

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Yes, my wife knows what to do when I give her the word. We put it into motion once, and things worked out fine.
 

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If we are out and something happens I give her instructions on the spot. How detailed they are depends on the situation and how fast things are developing.

I wish she would carry but being in the medical field before retiring she has seen too many bullet wounds and so she doesn't like guns much. It is what it is and I will gladly handle her defense.
 

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My wife and I both carry and we discuss tactics regularly. We train together at the range regularly. We shoot each other's guns regularly. Yet, unfortunately, I know we don't have a plan for every situation.
Yep, this is the same for my wife and I. We both started carrying at the same time, have taken numerous courses over the last 35 years, have shot a variety of different gun games, have both been instructors, continue to this day to stay current in the field by regular practice, reading, videos, and taking courses. Discuss regularly self defense scenarios etc...

Only real difference between her and I was that I spent time working as a LEO and she did not. However, she was able to attend different L.E. training events over the years (she was certified in WA state as a Private Security & Detective Firearms Instructor as well as MSI Mace OC/Pepper Spray Instructor).

As stated above, one really can't have a plan for EVERY situation, but one can try to be prepared as best they can.
 

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I do not automatically assume a sleeping person is a threat.

You were the one being aggressive thus his response to your demand was appropriate.

Most homeless people are harmless. Some are not. Some are mentally ill, some are not.

Have we seriously lost our ability to have empathy towards our fellow man?
 

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Over the past 10 weeks of the Wu-Flu lock-down I have been going to my private club at least every day, sometimes 2 or 3 times at different hours. Not the best part of town so I check doors and windows, make sure the alarm system is operating properly, walk the property. Several times I have found what are euphemistically called "homeless people" camping out on our covered patio, which is inside a 6' fenced area, and I invite them to leave or be ready to explain their trespass to the police. No problems so far (the urine and feces need to be power-washed out of the corners, but I suppose even us old guys need a hobby), but even approaching 70 I still look like the cop I used to be before retirement and I never allow close confrontations to occur.

After seeing to property security I like to check the "sell by" dates of all the beer in the coolers and make sure nothing remains that could potentially be served to an unwitting club member when we are finally able to re-open the club. Couple of weeks ago I noticed that a beer keg already tapped into the system was dangerously close to expiring, so I convened a meeting of my security committee (on the patio, in the open air with proper social distancing) and it took us about 4 hours to discuss how best to deal with that little problem.
 

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I do not automatically assume a sleeping person is a threat.

You were the one being aggressive thus his response to your demand was appropriate.

Most homeless people are harmless. Some are not. Some are mentally ill, some are not.

Have we seriously lost our ability to have empathy towards our fellow man?
Would you be willing to allow them to camp out on your front porch? If not where's your empathy?
 

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I have plans - evolving plans according to the situation and modified by my wife's presence or absence as well as her frame of mind at the time.
 

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I usually have an evolving plan, a first evolving contingency plan, a second evolving contingency plan, and sometimes a third evolving contingency plan.

Unfortunately, most plans go out the window after the first engagement.
 

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“No plan survives first contact with the enemy”

I had planes on what to do if a. b. c. etc happens ..but it is all by ear ...
 

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The other day I came home from work and found a bum sleeping in the entry way of my apartment building. I told him if he didn't get up and leave immediately I was going to call the cops. He told me to "Buzz Off" and I pulled out my phone (I've noticed that the guys who dare you to call the cops leave the second you do) and he left.
If you have a concern about a "bum" sleeping on the entry way.. there are a dozen of less provocative methods to get the police there or have him removed without putting yourself on the radar of some guy who obviously doesn't have a lot to loose and may have mental problems or under the influence of drugs. The second issue may be whether or not you as a tenant are an authorized agent to speak for the properly owner in regards to trespass. I am not sure that the entry way to your apt building is part of the curtilage that you rent or lease to the degree that you have dominion over it. It certainly could be but its a questions that stands out in my mind.

As far as code words go.. I don't do the code word thing.
 
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