as I already said about the lock, we moved, we are no longer in the house with a bad lock, we are in a new house, new neighborhood, new locks, ect.
REPLACEING the lock was not the issue...i guess I should've been more through in my explanition...
the man was my mom's BF but they had only been together for a week or so, I dunno how it works where some of you are from, but dating someone for a week does not give you the right to just walk into thier house at 3 a.m. he wasn't expected, he didn't call, and he didn't even bother to knock, to ME that's a HUGE no no. he knew the lock was messed up too, not broken completely, but he knew how to manipulate it to opening it according to how the handle was twisted and worked
all I'm saying is he shouldn't have walked in at 3 a.m.
Hopyard, I LIVE with my mom, thus it makes sence for him to show up, NOT at 3 a.m. but still...
Aric, I DIDN'T kill him, and I DID properly identify him, he was identified as a man entering my house in the dead of night without reason. by all means though, feel free yourself to take the time to properly shake hands and introduce yourself to a potiental BG before you take defencive action.
the simple act of confronting him was my only choice as all I had was a knife, if he had been an actual BG and Armed with a gun, without my imediete responce, I could've been shot dead. ESPICALLY if I had a light on or had attempted to better identify my target past the fact that he was in a place he clearly did not belong.
anyways, my mom broke up with him shortly after all this, apharently SHE was ignoring his calls, I'm guessing that's why he showed up, the man was a wierdo...
perhaps saying he'd be dead if I owned a gun is a bit of a strech, because when it all went down, I had no intent of even killing him with the knife what I mean by saying that is that, walking into my house at 3 a.m. IF I HAD OF BEEN ARMED with a gun, would have been potientally dangerous for him.
if a man walked into one of your houses at 3 a.m. and you owned a gun can you honestly say there wouldn't be at least SOME risk of him being shot? as in NO ONE needs to simply walk into somone else's house unannounced
I really don’t see why you did anything wrong. I guess some people just have to criticize others in order to bolster their own insecurities.
Based on the OP, it was clear that this man (mom’s BF) was not welcome at the time he came in. I don’t know about anyone else here, but if a person is trying to break into my house at 0300, I’m not going to worry about identifying him any more than necessary to know that it’s an unauthorized person. Like ShadeDeciple said,
ShadeDeciple said:
“…and I DID properly identify him, he was identified as a man entering my house in the dead of night without reason.”
I find it very dubious that the detractors would have given more latitude to a stranger breaking into their house at 0300. Granted, a firearm completely changes the dynamics of the incident.
I am also seeing something here that it appears that those who are so quick to criticize are missing. This guy was crossing a serious boundary, and both ShadeDeciple and his mother were enforcing that boundary. Most adults know that it is improper to just break into another person’s home in the dark of night unannounced (without permission), regardless of what relationship one may have with the resident. The fact that he did so (without permission)
after only one week of dating, and
after not having his phone calls returned exhibits a serious red flag.
Important notes from the OP:
This guy obviously did not have permission (given or implied) to break in at any time. This is demonstrated by the mother’s reaction. He should have known better.
The BF tried to laugh it off when confronted with his transgression. This is passive/aggressive. He knew he wasn’t wanted there, so he decided to break in the dark of night. When caught, and facing serious repercussions, he tried to make light of the fact that he was breaking in someone’s place at an inappropriate hour, knowing full well that it wasn’t acceptable behavior.
Based on the OP, we know that breaking in at 0300 was not okay.
Important notes from ShadeDeciple’s second post:
We now know that not only was this man unwanted and unwelcome in that home, but that he most certainly knew it. If I go out with a woman, and she no longer returns my phone calls after one week, I take the hint and stop pursuing her. Chances are that she isn’t interested, and is hopping I’ll take the hint (more like a bus being dropped on him), and stop calling. If she is still interested, then she needs to brush up on her social skills, and I’m not interested in helping her with that. I most certainly don’t go breaking into her house, let alone at 0300. Any man who would break into the house of a woman, who is ignoring his calls (especially after one week) has got problems, and shouldn’t be trusted. When he does it in the dark of night, I find it very suspicious, and under the circumstances, it most certainly brings his motives for the evening into question (these are the actions of someone who could quite possible be abusive).
I don’t know how it is where some of the detractors live, but where I live, if a person gets shot because he was breaking into another person’s home in the dark of night, unannounced, uninvited, and unwelcome, then it’s likely that the prosecutor won’t bring charges. Around here, lethal force is justifiable if a reasonable person would fear rape, death, or great bodily harm. When someone breaks into a home they are not supposed to be in, then it’s reasonable that they present a danger to the resident (granted, this situation is a little more complicated because of the busted lock, and with a gun, it
might be wise to inform that person that they have the wrong house. ). When defending one’s home with a gun, there is the advantage of maintaining a distance, giving the resident more options and time to identify the intruder. With only a knife to defend himself, the original poster’s options are limited. He doesn’t want to announce himself to the BG thereby loosing his element of surprise. The original poster knows that he is about to go hands on with an unidentified threat, and he needs to maintain as much advantage as he can, while controlling both the situation, and the intruder. He has no idea who the intruder is, nor does he know the intruder’s capabilities.
I think ShadeDeciple did an outstanding job (save for not fixing the lock). He did what he needed to do, and exercised enough restraint to ID the intruder before it escalated.
I do take exception to the statement that, “…if I had had a gun at the time, the man WOULD be dead right now”. I honestly can’t say for certain that it would have been manslaughter. The guy does sound like a stalker, and his actions would put him in a “dangerous” category. OTOH, I think what might nail the original poster is that, “had he known who it was before shooting, he probably wouldn’t have shot.”
