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Unless you're on a dedicated box, you're at the mercy of your ISP for this.

When I don't get mails for a few days from the board, I check in anyway -but a lot of your newer visitors won't.

I'm not showing failed connection attempts or spam-blocks or whatnot from the site in my raw mail logs. Unfortunately, on a shared server, you can't see those same logs for outgoing and try to figure out where the problem is or isn't.
 
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