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Discussion Starter #1
So I was asked two days ago by my sister to serve her husband the divorce papers. This is been a bit messy, as he's very verbally abusive, controlling, and stalkerish. I don't know if I wholly believe my sister's side, either, but that's not the point: I know this relationship isn't going to work, she knows it isn't going to work, and to save a little money she asked me to serve him the papers.

He's an ex-felon. Of course, she didn't know the whole story before they got married. (Ironically, I'm the one who married them. Married and divorced them.. only in Missouri, eh?) I knew when I first met him there was something very odd and that he was covering something up. A quick search on Missouri CASEnet gave me the approximate details.. assault, forgery, fraud. He had been out of prison, though, and supposedly had turned it around. But he's been verbally abusive to my sister, among other stalkerish, controlling things. And he's been hiding debt, lying to my sister, and trying to get her to forge papers so he could keep his truck, which he hasn't been paying for.

So of course my wife thinks it's a bad idea to serve him the papers. Retrospectively, I should have said no. But it's a bit late now.

Today my dad comes to my house to pick up one of my sons and take him out for some grandpa-grandson bonding time. He says, "So are you comfortable with this?" To which I respond, "Well, as comfortable as I'm going to be." And then he says, "He has a gun, so be careful. And don't tell anyone." My eyes lit up. I responded, "Well, so do I. And I have my CCW permit. Don't tell anyone."

I was going to carry my weapon, anyway, but now that puts a whole new element to it. A convicted felon has a gun. Verbally abusive. Been in prison for assault. My wife said to take someone along, and I was planning on calling the police station and having an officer escort me just to ensure safety.

Any other things I should think about or consider? What would you do? I have to do this.. there's no backing out. But I want to make sure I'm going to be safe. Any perspectives and suggestions would be appreciated.
 

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Call the Sheriff's department to escort you. If he has a gun then they will just haul him off to jail anyway.
 

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+1 on having an officer escort you.

Does he know where you live? You may have to keep your SA on medium-alert for a while.
 

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Does MO require personal service with a signature or does constructive service suffice? e.g. pin the note on his conspicuosly front door otherwise based on what you have posted I would either not carry my gun (not suggested) or allow someone else to do the service.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
+1 on having an officer escort you.

Does he know where you live? You may have to keep your SA on medium-alert for a while.
I was thinking the SAME thing. Which I'm ALWAYS on medium alert, honestly. I'm the guy in the neighborhood who scans my windows, knows when something is out of the ordinary, and isn't afraid to keep an eye on what the teens/kids are doing when they're walking the streets at 2a. But this is a whole new beast. He does know where I live, so I'd definitely have to keep an eye out.

The really bad part is I'm living with an anti. ...and anti who doesn't know I have a gun or CCW permit. I want so badly to tell her, show her, and train her on how to use it. And I want to get a house gun for her to rely on if I'm not there and I'm carrying mine. This situation worries me that, if I'm not there, she and my kids won't be protected.

..oh, and he's a rather large, boisterous Italian man. Not exactly a shrimp.

..and my sister just texted and said yesterday he threatened suicide. This isn't good.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Does MO require personal service with a signature or does constructive service suffice? e.g. pin the note on his conspicuosly front door otherwise based on what you have posted I would either not carry my gun (not suggested) or allow someone else to do the service.
Fair question, and I'll ask the lawyer today. As far as I'm aware, I simply have to physically hand him the papers and leave. That's it.

If I have a cop with me, I'd be tempted not to carry, but at the same time if he goes ballistic and shoots the cop, then I'm defenseless.
 

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Are you sure there's no way that somebody else can't serve the papers? Like you said, there's a lot more than your personal safety at stake here...

I also live with an anti, and my job includes managing subdivisions (enforcing covenants), managing rental properties (evictions), and managing commercial property (prosecuting thieves). There's a long list of people who wish me harm. To the extent that you can minimize your list, the better.
 

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Fair question, and I'll ask the lawyer today. As far as I'm aware, I simply have to physically hand him the papers and leave. That's it.

If I have a cop with me, I'd be tempted not to carry, but at the same time if he goes ballistic and shoots the cop, then I'm defenseless.
I would carry, you're perfectly legal too. I would also tell the Cop your carrying and that you are there merely as an observer, but you have his back if SHTF.
 

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I've served processes a few times before. Make sure Missouri law permits family members serving process, as some states are against that practice. You can try to have a LEO swing by to oversee the transaction, but good luck on that depending on where you are serving. At a minimum take someone you know along to dial 911 if you are unable.

When you see the guy just hand him the papers (or put them in the floor where he can see them, he doesn't need to take them in the hand), give him the "you've been served" verbal notice and then walk away. Don't stay there explaining that is because he was a bad guy and your sister is divorcing him, or anything; you only need to present the papers and walk away, get in the car and drive away. After you are done, go swear that you served the papers at the court's clerk office (or wherever it is you have to do it in your state).

You can always go to the Sherrif's Office or to a civil process server bussiness and pay to have it served. It is usually $25-50.
 

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Oh, is that all? I'll ask the lawyer today how much it'd be. At this point, I'd pay it myself just to not have to do it.
 

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Let's see if I understand correctly.

1) Serve papers on a person that has a weapon and knows where you live?

2) Pay someone less than $100 to serve the papers for you?

Please tell me you were joking in regards to this question. I'm sorry, but if the lack of common sense that is displayed here is real, maybe you should reconsider having a gun or carrying one. Do you honestly think that if you are forced to use your gun in defense of your life that it will cost you less than what you paid someone else to serve the individual?

OK, so this individual was threatening suicide. Why didn't someone call the local LEO's and report that, and inform them that the individual in question has a gun? Gee, that seems like an easy way to solve the problem. Then, if you are foolish enough to serve him, which is still a bad idea in my humble opinion, you can do it at the county jail after he's locked up for being a felon in possession of a firearm and awaiting a trial.

Geez..............:banghead:

Biker
 

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Pay somebody to do this,IMO. This is nothing but trouble if you go.
 

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Let's see if I understand correctly.

1) Serve papers on a person that has a weapon and knows where you live?

2) Pay someone less than $100 to serve the papers for you?

Please tell me you were joking in regards to this question. I'm sorry, but if the lack of common sense that is displayed here is real, maybe you should reconsider having a gun or carrying one. Do you honestly think that if you are forced to use your gun in defense of your life that it will cost you less than what you paid someone else to serve the individual?

OK, so this individual was threatening suicide. Why didn't someone call the local LEO's and report that, and inform them that the individual in question has a gun? Gee, that seems like an easy way to solve the problem. Then, if you are foolish enough to serve him, which is still a bad idea in my humble opinion, you can do it at the county jail after he's locked up for being a felon in possession of a firearm and awaiting a trial.

Geez..............:banghead:

Biker
+1 on what biker said. It seems your asking for trouble you do not need.
 

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Pay a server to do it. What will it cost? $25.00-$50.00?
This. ^^

If she can't afford the coin then pay for it yourself.
You have a wife and kid to think of _FIRST_.

Those responsibilities trump any 'favor' asked of you even if it is by family, who actively selected the trouble they are in.

No disrespect but what to do and not to do on this item is a no brainer.
Change your mind, say 'No' and hire a process server.

Bringing a friend or a cop and your gun with permit means nothing.
You get shot you are shot. Period.
With a cop to witness and return fire or make arrest, or a friend to witness it...and with a carry permit and sidearm for your fatherless son to remember you by.

Hire a professional and out source the very real risk.

- Janq

P.S. - If he truly is a felon and he truly does _possess_ a firearm of any sort even one that is non-functional or is an airgun, he has committed a secondary felony as well as violation of his probation /parole. That is a SERIOUS business crime.
Call the cops now today and report as much exactly as you have stated it here. They will go to his home in force as armed and with serious demeanor to investigate. Your sister can even provide them the keys and authorization to enter without her needing to be there on site.
Honest man this has trouble written all over it as in block and bold letters. Think it through as using your _best_ judgment.
 

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Oh, is that all? I'll ask the lawyer today how much it'd be. At this point, I'd pay it myself just to not have to do it.
Even if the cost is four times that at $100 or $200...so what?!

How much is your life and health care worth to you? To your family? To your wife and son?

Think about that.
Then break out your charge card and pay someone else to risk their neck, for what is effectively several tanks of gas or 1/5th cost of an ambulance ride.

- Janq

"Penny wise and pound foolish." - Benjamin Franklin
 

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+ 1 Janq

SA also involves being aware of what to avoid, if there are options.
 

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If you want to help your sister out, put put the 25-50 bucks to have LE serve them for you/her. Keeps your nose clean, and solves a lot of problems. Don't be a hero....
 

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Serve Papers

Pay a server to do it. What will it cost? $25.00-$50.00?
I'll echo this response. I would pay a neutral third party to serve the divorce papers to your brother in law. Even with a LEO escort it could get very messy.

In light of the fact that your brother in law is an ex-felon, I would air on the cautious side under these circumstances.
 
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