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This deserves a little backstory, so bare with me. I am separated from my daughter's mother. I got a call two weeks ago telling me that my daughter had just been sexually assaulted, so I obviously dropped everything, and came back "home." My daughter finally told what happened at the urging if her friend. As a result, I wanted to take her and her friend out as a thank you.

As we were walking out of the mall last night, some kids yell out, "hey you have a spider in you back." I looked around, said thanks, and kept moving. I asked my daughter if I had anything on me, she said, "no," so bi big deal. I figured they were just being goofy, but I was walking with two teenage girls, one that was just victimized, so I was on alert - her attacker is still out. They kept saying it, to the point of annoyance. So I sped the girls up, and pushed them toward the car.

Then as we make distance, they start to drive their car towards us, going the wrong way, down a one-way lane in the parking lot. Now, I begin to put myself between the girls and the car more, I obviously stay between them and danger as a rule. And they're still yelling about this damn spider. I search the car, but it's black, with tented windows, and 3-4 kids. I tried to notice if the rapist was in it, but couldn't see through it. I walked the girls to another car, and my hand starts moving to my side. Right then they drive off. But, damn that could have ended badly.

When I talked with my daughter later, she mention that she was scared he was in the car too.

Given recent events, I'm happy to say that I didn't over react. That gives me a smile.

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Good job keeping a level head. That set of circumstances would make it hard for anybody.

Prayers sent for your daughter and all her loved ones.
 

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That sounds crazy. Kid come up with nutty ideas.
 

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Rudyard Kipling wrote in his classis poem "If" - "If you can keep your head while all about you are losing theirs...then you'll be a man my son".

Congrats on being "calm under fire". :congrats:
 

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I run the alternate scenarios through my head.

Where was cover? Could I push the girls away - definitely easier if just my daughter? God forbid, what if that rapist was actually in the car?

I still can't imagine why they came down that aisle. Unfortunately, I didn't get a plate number, in case it was something more sinister.

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You might want to alert the authorities because if something happens that's one of the first questions they'll ask "Did you report this?"

Good job keeping your cool!
 

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I hope you can get your daughter some professional counseling. She needs to know that it's not her fault, and at the same time I hope and pray she finds the strength to report it to the police. Whatever was done to her could happen again and even worse to someone else.
 

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Wow what a story! Sorry to see your daughter is having to live through this nightmare.

I can't imagine what the spider on your back thing is about you handled it well. I agree that making a police report is a good idea. Start the paper trail now.
 

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This deserves a little backstory, so bare with me. I am separated from my daughter's mother. I got a call two weeks ago telling me that my daughter had just been sexually assaulted, so I obviously dropped everything, and came back "home." My daughter finally told what happened at the urging if her friend. As a result, I wanted to take her and her friend out as a thank you.

As we were walking out of the mall last night, some kids yell out, "hey you have a spider in you back." I looked around, said thanks, and kept moving. I asked my daughter if I had anything on me, she said, "no," so bi big deal. I figured they were just being goofy, but I was walking with two teenage girls, one that was just victimized, so I was on alert - her attacker is still out. They kept saying it, to the point of annoyance. So I sped the girls up, and pushed them toward the car.

Then as we make distance, they start to drive their car towards us, going the wrong way, down a one-way lane in the parking lot. Now, I begin to put myself between the girls and the car more, I obviously stay between them and danger as a rule. And they're still yelling about this damn spider. I search the car, but it's black, with tented windows, and 3-4 kids. I tried to notice if the rapist was in it, but couldn't see through it. I walked the girls to another car, and my hand starts moving to my side. Right then they drive off. But, damn that could have ended badly.

When I talked with my daughter later, she mention that she was scared he was in the car too.

Given recent events, I'm happy to say that I didn't over react. That gives me a smile.

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So...

What kind of spider was it, anyway?

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under the circumstances (sexual assault/attacker "still out"), a police report should have been filed, with a description of the kids, the car, license number, preferably a picture of the car (cell phone camera - no doubt all three of you had one)!!!!!!!!!!
you just may have been harassed by her assailant :icon_neutral:
 

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under the circumstances (sexual assault/attacker "still out"), a police report should have been filed, with a description of the kids, the car, license number, preferably a picture of the car (cell phone camera - no doubt all three of you had one)!!!!!!!!!!
you just may have been harassed by her assailant :icon_neutral:
Yeah, it's amazing that with three people with cellphones, nobody got the plate number, in fact nobody probably knows what make of car it is. This is an odd story. I don't get why you'd be 'shepherding' two girls, one of which was still 'at risk' for a roaming rapist. This meant you had sole responsibility in an elevated alert situation and DIVIDED ATTENTION (DA).

DA is very bad in an elevated alert situation, especially with two children, neither of which you've had any time to 'coordinate'. With another adult, you could have had the adult go back into the restaurant with them and call 911.

IN FACT your big mistake is that you did not go BACK into the safety of the restaurant but continued into a higher and higher level of chaos and potential danger.

PLEASE think about this 'goal clinging' you just did. Think about the fact that basically ALL your senses and memory was TURNED OFF. You just wandered around in a tiger cage, basically (the car being the analogous tiger).

IDK what you were thinking but here is a great example of CLINGING to a goal (getting to your GOD-DARN car) instead of turning around, going back into the restaurant and collecting your wits (Time, Distance and Cover). Basically, if you had ANY training, it all went out the window.

I'm being hard on you but don't take it personally. Most people CLING and CLING and walk right into the tiger's mouth like robots.

Use this as an opportunity to wise the freak up. Maybe rehearse this scenario when it's 'safe', and actually pretend someone is the threat, have both girls take out cameras and take a pic of the car (use a friend's car), and both go back into the restaurant. Have a 'safety' word where the vulnerable people with you go back inside and mimic dialing and taking photos. Do it like a fire drill.

Glad nothing happened, but don't let it slide. AND go now and make a police report.

PS if you know the rapist, why haven't charges been filed?
 

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You did the right thing, But you try to run me down with a 2000 pound car that another problem. The best thing you not knowing he was in the car.
 
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