LEOs - What was your #1 Dumbest BG of '09?
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Mine was a guy that was growing huge marijuana plants inside of his apartment (all in plain view) and went outside and shot his gun off near his girlfriend, when we got there his door was wide open with the (about 4 pounds worth) marijuana in the aforementioned plain view. Gun was in plain view, as well. It was nice Benelli M4 with a 30 round bandoleer next to it. He was charged with multiple felonies and is awaiting sentencing.
A spy that was mapping out the base....
Two MP's walking out of the chow hall spot a country national worker (a local) standing on a tank next to the chow hall with a little note pad and pencil drawing. They call him down and ask him what he was doing and take a look at the note book, its a map of the base....very crudely done...
Now what makes him the stupidist BG I've ever seen is one, he was in full view of everyone doing this, two there are too scale maps of the base posted around, three his spot right next to the chow hall as his choice of map making spots.
Two MP's walking out of the chow hall spot a country national worker (a local) standing on a tank next to the chow hall with a little note pad and pencil drawing. They call him down and ask him what he was doing and take a look at the note book, its a map of the base....very crudely done...
Now what makes him the stupidist BG I've ever seen is one, he was in full view of everyone doing this, two there are too scale maps of the base posted around, three his spot right next to the chow hall as his choice of map making spots.
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I think I talked about it before; Mine was the guy who went to buy a bag of weed, and got ripped off. He then called me to report that he had been robbed. During the course of investigation, I found several different types of pills and other drugs that were for sale from my "victim".
The other dealers admitted their role, and all were charged with drug trafficking, two were charge with robbery and my victim got a felony possession in addition to filing a false report and drug trafficking.
This all happened within the course of a few hours.
The other dealers admitted their role, and all were charged with drug trafficking, two were charge with robbery and my victim got a felony possession in addition to filing a false report and drug trafficking.
This all happened within the course of a few hours.
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That's just funny! And, really good!!!
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So, how many pieces was the boat turned into...:blink::image035:
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This didn't happen to me, but I was on shift and responding to the call.
About a year ago there was a white Crown Vic that looked much like a police car breaking into houses and stealing things. Not big things, but small things like jewelry and anything that they could take into a a Pawn Shop and turned over for drug money. We had a good idea who it was from various descriptions, but the license on the car was fake and we knew that there were two guys involved.
These dudes would drive up, one would stay in the car with it running, and the other guy would spend no more than a few minutes in the place, sort of a "quick hit" thing. It worked well enough that it was a while before anyone noticed what was going on and they were always gone by the time the cops got there. They would seem to know when a house was vacant for a day or two and often times it would be days before a crime was reported because the owners might be out of state or something and they always picked nice houses that were sort of remote, not much else around.
They had a pretty good little racket going until one night around 10PM when their careers both ended.
They hit a nice looking home that happened to have an alarm. As luck would have it, one of our CID officers was on his way home and he was driving a white unmarked Crown Vic, the classic unmarked cop car. He hears the call, radio's that he is responding and gets there within a minute. He sees notices another white Crown Vic which see his car and it takes off immediately. He radios to another deputy that happens to be a half mile away and has him stop that vehicle. In the mean time, our CID officer is sitting in the car, and the BG that had been in the house comes running out of it with an armload of stuff, runs up to the white Crown Vic that he sees in front of the house, opens the back door and tosses an armload of items in it. He then jumps in the front of the car and says "lets go!". He sits there looking at the radios, sirens, light switches and all and it takes him a minute to realize that he made a big mistake. Our CID officer is sitting there in a state of shock, because he cant believe what he is seeing and he freaks out and grasps the guy by the arm. Now the fight it on. One guy is trying to get out of the car, the other guy is trying to pull him in. The officers manages to get on the radio and somehow amongst the screams, grunts and erratic breathing, he manages to tell the dispatcher that he needs help that he is trying to go "10-15" with the B.G. I'm down the road about 10 miles or so I hit the lights and siren and head that way like a scalded dog.
I get there, the other Deputy is already there and they have both bad guys in the Deputy's vehicle. The CID officers is standing with his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath. The Deputy is wiping the grass off his pants and kicking mud off of his boots. He sees me and tells me it's all good and then he tells me his version of the story.
He had caught the other guy in the White Crown Vic and got into a chase. The guy tried to turn hard in the road and put it in a rather muddy ditch where he stuck the car. The Deputy ran up to him and cuffed and stuffed him fairly quickly.He had just got back in the car when he heard the call for help and he took off. He said that when he got there, the CID officer was stretched out in his car holding the back of the shirt of the thug that got in the car. Somehow he had gotten out of the vehicle but couldn't quite get away because he kept slipping in the mud. The CID officer was basically holding himself in the car by his toes which were hanging up on the radio console.
He was laughing and he said it was the funniest thing he had ever seen.
Both BG' were already known to the Judge who gave them each 7 years where they are still staying courtesy of the County Jail.`
We kid the CID officer alot about how it doesn't get any easier than that, to have a crook throw his stuff in the back of the car and then insist that you drive him somewhere.
Our CID officer still insists that it was one of the hardest "collars" hes ever had.
That is the stupid crook story that I remember the best, but there are others. Most of these people aren't too bright. That is why they are crooks.
About a year ago there was a white Crown Vic that looked much like a police car breaking into houses and stealing things. Not big things, but small things like jewelry and anything that they could take into a a Pawn Shop and turned over for drug money. We had a good idea who it was from various descriptions, but the license on the car was fake and we knew that there were two guys involved.
These dudes would drive up, one would stay in the car with it running, and the other guy would spend no more than a few minutes in the place, sort of a "quick hit" thing. It worked well enough that it was a while before anyone noticed what was going on and they were always gone by the time the cops got there. They would seem to know when a house was vacant for a day or two and often times it would be days before a crime was reported because the owners might be out of state or something and they always picked nice houses that were sort of remote, not much else around.
They had a pretty good little racket going until one night around 10PM when their careers both ended.
They hit a nice looking home that happened to have an alarm. As luck would have it, one of our CID officers was on his way home and he was driving a white unmarked Crown Vic, the classic unmarked cop car. He hears the call, radio's that he is responding and gets there within a minute. He sees notices another white Crown Vic which see his car and it takes off immediately. He radios to another deputy that happens to be a half mile away and has him stop that vehicle. In the mean time, our CID officer is sitting in the car, and the BG that had been in the house comes running out of it with an armload of stuff, runs up to the white Crown Vic that he sees in front of the house, opens the back door and tosses an armload of items in it. He then jumps in the front of the car and says "lets go!". He sits there looking at the radios, sirens, light switches and all and it takes him a minute to realize that he made a big mistake. Our CID officer is sitting there in a state of shock, because he cant believe what he is seeing and he freaks out and grasps the guy by the arm. Now the fight it on. One guy is trying to get out of the car, the other guy is trying to pull him in. The officers manages to get on the radio and somehow amongst the screams, grunts and erratic breathing, he manages to tell the dispatcher that he needs help that he is trying to go "10-15" with the B.G. I'm down the road about 10 miles or so I hit the lights and siren and head that way like a scalded dog.
I get there, the other Deputy is already there and they have both bad guys in the Deputy's vehicle. The CID officers is standing with his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath. The Deputy is wiping the grass off his pants and kicking mud off of his boots. He sees me and tells me it's all good and then he tells me his version of the story.
He had caught the other guy in the White Crown Vic and got into a chase. The guy tried to turn hard in the road and put it in a rather muddy ditch where he stuck the car. The Deputy ran up to him and cuffed and stuffed him fairly quickly.He had just got back in the car when he heard the call for help and he took off. He said that when he got there, the CID officer was stretched out in his car holding the back of the shirt of the thug that got in the car. Somehow he had gotten out of the vehicle but couldn't quite get away because he kept slipping in the mud. The CID officer was basically holding himself in the car by his toes which were hanging up on the radio console.
He was laughing and he said it was the funniest thing he had ever seen.
Both BG' were already known to the Judge who gave them each 7 years where they are still staying courtesy of the County Jail.`
We kid the CID officer alot about how it doesn't get any easier than that, to have a crook throw his stuff in the back of the car and then insist that you drive him somewhere.
Our CID officer still insists that it was one of the hardest "collars" hes ever had.
That is the stupid crook story that I remember the best, but there are others. Most of these people aren't too bright. That is why they are crooks.
So many dummies to choose from...
I'll go with the dummy who stalled us at the door, giving her wanted friend the opportunity to hide in her marijuana grow. Not smart. Had he stayed in the front of the residence, where we SAW him through the window, she might still be free.
I'll go with the dummy who stalled us at the door, giving her wanted friend the opportunity to hide in her marijuana grow. Not smart. Had he stayed in the front of the residence, where we SAW him through the window, she might still be free.
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I have spent the largest part of my career in probation/parole work. I have been in my current jurisdiction for about 18 months. We have three male officers and two female officers. Males drug test males, and females... females. I was drug testing one of our male offenders for one of the female officers. One of the standard rules is no drug or alcohol usage. The offenders often get "shy bladder" and cant go. This particular offender, said "Can I sit down and pee, I got the beer poops (expletive substituted)" LOL I said yeah sure. Well he also tested positive for Marijuana and pills, he also had to admit to the alcohol.
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Here's a classic form many years ago. An associate of mine was on patrol when he spotted a guy that had some petty warrants. As he and another LEO approach, the guy runs. They find him hiding in a garbage bin, the kind you roll out to the curb. They tell the guy to come out. He pops out and says, "I know why you are chasing me... It's for that murder... Did you get Stevie cause he was with me when we did it."
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A pair of UDAs wore the wrong shoes and got blisters and their coyote left them because they couldn't keep up. They wandered through the desert for a day and finally see a ranch house. They knock on the door and ask for water. The lady of the ranch invites them in and offers them lunch, and of course, they accept. Then she steps in the next room and calls the Border Patrol. They had walked about twenty miles and the ranch house was about a mile from the highway and their pickup point.
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not really eventful, but was a good laugh
call went out for a home invasion robbery
me and 2 other officers arrived around the same time, got about halfway up to 2nd story apartment and the odor of smoked marijuana coming out of the open door almost made us choke
guy says he was just sitting there and 3 guys came in his unlocked door, one had a gun, one a knife, and the 3rd some sort of club or bat, stole his document safe he had in the living room.....but couldn't tell us what was in it (we have a pretty good idea:smoke23
all 3 of us started getting headaches and dizziness from the reefer, the resident claimed he smoked some earlier in the morning......this was 11PM!!!....amazing how stupid they think we are, anyway while I was surveying the apartment I see a bag of potato chips big enough to feed a family reunion barbeque sitting on the couch...I look in it and only crumbs left in the bottom....then....I look up at the TV which has been on the whole time.....what is playing? Cheech & Chong, Up in Smoke
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
I bust out laughing and Sgt asks me whats so funny, so I tell him you're not gonna believe whats on TV, we all got a good laugh
call went out for a home invasion robbery
me and 2 other officers arrived around the same time, got about halfway up to 2nd story apartment and the odor of smoked marijuana coming out of the open door almost made us choke
guy says he was just sitting there and 3 guys came in his unlocked door, one had a gun, one a knife, and the 3rd some sort of club or bat, stole his document safe he had in the living room.....but couldn't tell us what was in it (we have a pretty good idea:smoke23
all 3 of us started getting headaches and dizziness from the reefer, the resident claimed he smoked some earlier in the morning......this was 11PM!!!....amazing how stupid they think we are, anyway while I was surveying the apartment I see a bag of potato chips big enough to feed a family reunion barbeque sitting on the couch...I look in it and only crumbs left in the bottom....then....I look up at the TV which has been on the whole time.....what is playing? Cheech & Chong, Up in Smoke
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
I bust out laughing and Sgt asks me whats so funny, so I tell him you're not gonna believe whats on TV, we all got a good laugh
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Dumbest Bad Guy
This happened prior to 2009, but it is so funny I had to include it. The business where my wife worked had a burglary, and among other things, the perps took a check book with blank checks. My wife called all the nearby grocery stores, and other businesses that cash checks, and alerted them. This well known criminal shows up at a grocery store trying to cash a forged check. He lays his drivers license on the counter. When he sees the clerk on the phone (calling my wife to verify the check number) he panics and runs out of the store. His DL was still on the counter. The cops were waiting for him when he got home.:congrats:
This happened prior to 2009, but it is so funny I had to include it. The business where my wife worked had a burglary, and among other things, the perps took a check book with blank checks. My wife called all the nearby grocery stores, and other businesses that cash checks, and alerted them. This well known criminal shows up at a grocery store trying to cash a forged check. He lays his drivers license on the counter. When he sees the clerk on the phone (calling my wife to verify the check number) he panics and runs out of the store. His DL was still on the counter. The cops were waiting for him when he got home.:congrats:
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A couple
Two courtesy of my son:
1) Parolee gets into a domestic with estranged wife.
Swings a shotgun by barrel and smashes windshield of her car.
Gun discharges hitting him in the chest.
He lives to face parole revocation, new felony charges, and a long stay in the hospital.
Guess he showed her.
2) Someone calls 911.
Someone hangs up.
911 calls back.
Different someone (a drug dealer) answerers, says "Just a minute", and then conducts a drug deal (caught on tape) before tell 911 it had all been a mistake.
:yup:
Two courtesy of my son:
1) Parolee gets into a domestic with estranged wife.
Swings a shotgun by barrel and smashes windshield of her car.
Gun discharges hitting him in the chest.
He lives to face parole revocation, new felony charges, and a long stay in the hospital.
Guess he showed her.
2) Someone calls 911.
Someone hangs up.
911 calls back.
Different someone (a drug dealer) answerers, says "Just a minute", and then conducts a drug deal (caught on tape) before tell 911 it had all been a mistake.
:yup:
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104 Posts
Stupid Bad Guys
There are so many I could write all day, but this will be my last one. We went to a creeps home to arrest him on a warrant, his mama said he wasn't there. We asked for permission to enter the home, and she gave it. We checked the home, every room was clear. I went on the enclosed back porch and saw, with the sun shining through the windows, small particles of something floating in the sunlight. I looked up and saw the entrance to the attic. I called my partner, who pushed the board covering the attic entrance aside, and yelled up at the creep that if he had to come up there and get him there would be hell to pay. Down drops this creep totally covered in fiberglass insulation. The kind that takes weeks of showers to get the itchy stuff out of your skin.:rofl:
There are so many I could write all day, but this will be my last one. We went to a creeps home to arrest him on a warrant, his mama said he wasn't there. We asked for permission to enter the home, and she gave it. We checked the home, every room was clear. I went on the enclosed back porch and saw, with the sun shining through the windows, small particles of something floating in the sunlight. I looked up and saw the entrance to the attic. I called my partner, who pushed the board covering the attic entrance aside, and yelled up at the creep that if he had to come up there and get him there would be hell to pay. Down drops this creep totally covered in fiberglass insulation. The kind that takes weeks of showers to get the itchy stuff out of your skin.:rofl:
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