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So i've been put in kind of an awkward situation. The girl that I've been dating that lives a floor below me has been having trouble with her ex-boyfriend coming over and not leaving. She said she almost had to call 911 because he would stand in front of the door and get in her face; not even letting her leave. She asked me if it ever got bad, if I would come help her and of course I agreed. If I go down there and tell him to leave and he refuses, should I verbally inform him that I'm armed and ask him again? Or would that be over the line...
 

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...and when you justifiably shoot or kill him I'm sure you can count on her testimony to keep you from arrest and prosecution...

I've seen a few so-called "abused" women who would lie cheat and steal to support the no good scoundrel. This kind of game never ends.

RUN, Forrest, RUN!

***************
 

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No one should ever know that you are armed. They should only know when you clear leather and in my opinion that is a point of no return. If you go down there, things may escalate and BANG.......you are in a situation that you don't want to be in. If she realy wants him out of her life, then she should get a restraining order and get the authorities involved. If she won't do that, then perhaps you should stand back and look at the situation. Is it worth it?
 

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Danger Will Robinson Danger.

First be very careful. Never tell anyone you are armed unless its a LEO. If he threatens you or comes at you with a weapon then let him be suprised. If he has prior knowlege of your firearm he might come with his own (let him be the guy bringing a knife to a gunfight) Though the best case would be if you and your GF were in your appartment and he was comming in there against your wishes.

If anything does happen as soon as the dust settles check yourself and the GF for injuries, call 911 and find a lawyer.
 

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Doc, of course, offers perfectly sound advice. She needs a restraining order for sure. Doc is also quite right about the firearm talk.
 

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Heck you live in Texas. Take the girl you're dating out to shoot. Teach her gun safety...let her buy her own firearm for her personal protection.

If the guy is bothering her then she needs to get a PFA Order sworn out against him and she needs to call 911 so that there is an established, documented, pattern and history of harassment.
It's important for her to do that.
The police are experts at handling domestic cases. Let them handle it.
Do not mention that you are armed to him.
If he's street smart he'll call 911 on you and say that you pulled a gun on him and then it's your word against his & he made the 911 call.
 

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QKShooter said:
Heck you live in Texas. Take the girl you're dating out to shoot. Teach her gun safety...let her buy her own firearm for her personal protection.
Yup. Take her to the pawn shops and find her a truck gun; you know, a beat up but functional 12ga that would look right at home behind the seat of a farm truck. Then ask her what she expects you to do with your piddly little pistol that she can't do for herself with her cannon.

SWMBO is wanting to try out the 3.5" magnum 00 I have in the house shotgun to see if she'll be able to use it in a pinch. IMO, if she needs it that badly, she won't even notice.
 

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QKShooter said:
she needs to call 911 so that there is an established, documented, pattern and history of harassment.
It's important for her to do that.
+1. This is very important. She needs to call everytime. If it ever comes down to you(or her) using a weapon, I can Guarantee Your life will be a lot easier if it has been documented. My wife has worked with abused women and seen some cases that have gone badly for the victim just because there was no documentation. And 'Joe Neighbor' just loves the guy and says he would never harm anyone. As sad as that is, it happens. Call the cops a few times and see how that works.
Good luck.
 

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"I'd love to help, Honey, but you need to get a restraining order and call the police".

No one, except your spouse or an LEO in the line of duty, should ever know that you are armed- until you shoot.

You are flirting (carefully chosen verb) with some real trouble here, pal.
 

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randytulsa2 said:
"I'd love to help, Honey, but you need to get a restraining order and call the police".

No one, except your spouse or an LEO in the line of duty, should ever know that you are armed- until you shoot.

You are flirting (carefully chosen verb) with some real trouble here, pal.

LET THE POLICE HANDLE IT!!!! Period, if something were to go down and no restraining order was issued, the DA would be asking you questions while handcuffed. Tell her to get a restraining order and let LE handle it. Maybe with an order against him, he'll get the picture and leave her alone, if not don't get involved, sounds like a recipe for disaster, if you ask me.
 

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Tros said:
Doc, of course, offers perfectly sound advice. She needs a restraining order for sure. Doc is also quite right about the firearm talk.
There's already been much good advice here, but oi! Restraining order? Come on guys. Use the logic in that gray matter. What's she supposed to do with it? Roll it up and hit him over the head?:twak:
 

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packinnova said:
There's already been much good advice here, but oi! Restraining order? Come on guys. Use the logic in that gray matter. What's she supposed to do with it? Roll it up and hit him over the head?:twak:
Just the first step, packinnova! After he violates it, she can have the LEO whack him somewhere . . . :nutkick:
 

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Packinnova makes a good point as to the actual effects of getting a TRO. However, it is still important to do so because it is just as important to cover your behind legally as it is to be well armed and use good tactics. In my opinion, your girlfriend needs to:

1. File for a TRO
2. If he shows up before a TRO is issued, either not answer the door or if possible tell him to leave without granting him access. If there are ANY problems or he won't leave, call 911. In fact, call 911 if he gives her any reason to, ie harrassment, stalking, showing up at you place after you've told him not to go back, or if she feels threatened in any way.
3. If you have a TRO and he shows up, just call the cops and definately do not engage him in any way. In fact, as a general rule i would also do this prior to getting a TRO. Don't talk, don't open the door, and call the cops.

It is absolutely important that she does this in case something does happen. If you avail yourself of whatever legal recourse the law gives you, it makes it much harder to get in trouble if the poo hits the fan.

IMO, what you need to do is:

1. Don't intervene unless its necesary. These situations are extremely volatile. There is no need to provoke a confrontation. If possible let the cops handle it. Do what needs to be done, but don't let ego/testosterone factor into what you do.
2. Be prepared for the feces to hit the rapidly rotating oscillator if your intervention is required; ie he tries to force entry, becomes violent, etc. Do not give away any advantage, and for the love of all that it good and holy don't inform him you are armed. The only time your weapon should be apparent is when you are justified in clearing leather, NOT before. Don't fall into the "I have gun, therefore I am invincible" trap. It has gotten alot of folks and LEOs killed.
3. If at all possible, make sure the cops are on the way before you undertake any sort of necesary intervention. Make sure you or your girl is the one who called it in; not the BG or a bystander.
4. If something does happen, get a lawyer before you do any unnecesary talking to the cops.

This is not legal advice, but is just my opinion. Hope everything works out well and uneventfully. Remember, if she is unwilling to take the above steps to keep you both out of trouble, she is just setting you up for grief in the future. If she expects you to defend her, the least she can do is do her part to make sure you don't suffer for it.

All the best,


Joe
 

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A restraining order is just paperwork to cover your arse! If something were to happen, having that document plus a 911 call or two would help possibly in your defense.
 

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Why is she answering the door? IMHO, it is time for her to completely sever contact with him. No answering the door, no answering the phone, no returning calls. Get that restraining order (and a gun, if she's willing to learn how to use it and be responsible), start learning about situational awareness and start calling the cops every time she feels threatened by him. Log and/or record (check what is legal in your state) attempted contacts. Share it with the PD.
 

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How about when you hear stuff coming from her apartment, YOU call 911 and report a domestic disturbance. Do not go down there--if something bad does (will?) happen, then it will look like you went down there armed to "cause" trouble...or to take the law into your own hands.

..and not knowing the full situation, the moment you double-tap him into the next life you will hear her scream "I didn't want you to kill him...I wanted you to scare him....I love him"--then YOU are toast

My two cents

Mike in VA
 

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I guess this may be Brutal but maybe changing girlfriends should be
an option you might think about, only you can choose, it's YOUR life.
 

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I would disagree, at least in part. Perhaps if she won't do her part, then a split over the issue would be appropriate. However, if she is willing to do her part, I would have little respect for a man who will jump ship just because a relationship may involve having to defend his girlfriend. I mean, c'mon, as long as she is willing to take the appropriate legal steps how is this her fault? The world is filled with @$$holes who are perfectly willing to terrorize their innocent female ex's, and often do so for long periods of time. All too often, it is "too much trouble" for those around her to get involved and it ends up with her beaten or dead. As long as she is willing to do her part, I could not justify leaving a girlfriend just because I didn't want to have to deal with it. It just seems too much like laziness tinged with cowardice for me.

All the best,


Joe
 
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