[jahwarrior72]

..seem to go together like frat parties and date rape. it seems that nearly every close call, or negative encounter i've ever had, was in a parking lot of a store. something to think about i suppose.

i'll make it short. i witnessed a classic example of domestic violence while in the parking lot of a K-mart. to be honest (flame suit on), i would've walked away from it. there's no reason, in this day and age, that any woman with a brain should stay with a man who beats her. any woman that does is on her own. but, in this case, she ws holding a baby, no older than a year. that was enough to make me care.

i got my phone ready to call 911, and got close enough to be within earshot. i warned him to leave her alone; he was pulling her around by her arm and hair, cursing her and screaming at her. he stopped attacking her, yelled at me, then approached me with a threatening posture, hiding his hand behind his back. i called his bluff, and pulled my coat aside to expose my gun. i dialed 911 immediately, and began to tell the operator what was going on. the guy cursed, and jumped in his car. his woman jumped in, too, in the driver's side, and she drove off, with her baby in her lap.

the patrolman that responded just missed them. i told him everything that happened, in great detail, with the appropriate descriptions of persons and vehicle. the only question he had in regards to my gun was if i'd drawn it. he never asked to see my LTCF, though i offered to show him. he took my word for it. he thanked me for getting involved, and for calling. he called in to another car, to see if they could spot him on the road, then left.

i'm still irritated. all i wanted was to buy a pair of shoes and some socks, not get involved in a domestic dispute. i didn't really have any effect on my life, but i keep thinking that i put myself in a situation i didn't need to, where someone could've gotten hurt. i think i'm mostly angry with her, for helping the guy that was abusing her get away.

was i an idiot for getting involved? maybe, maybe not. i know if i wore a uniform, i'd be obliged to. some may say that we have a duty to each other, as human beings. but, i still feel like a moron.

 

[Rugergirl]

Whoa, slow down. You feel like a moron for stepping in and stopping or at least attempting to stop an abusive situation, when a child was involved?
The moron here sounds like the woman involved.
For the life of me, I will never understand what could possibly go on in the mind of a woman who stays in an abusive relationship.
You did what you thought was right, and at least for now, the attack is over. You handled it well, it seems the responding LEO sees things the same way.
I'm not sure I(being a petite woman) would be strong enough, physically to do what you did, but I might be tempted to try if a small child was in harms way.
Job well done, my friend:congrats:

 

[silo]

The ONLY reason you feel like a moron is because she made the idiotic decision to get back in the car with him. That's not your fault. Had she not gotten in, the cops gotten there, and been able to intervene in this otherwise violent crime, you would feel differently. Don't let the morons keep you down; they're plentiful, but they're not as smart as you.

Personally, I feel like you did the right thing.

 

[Eagleks]

You did good ! ! ! ! ! If nothing else, the police may get an investigation going and a chance the child may be taken out of the situation.

 

[ep1953]

You did good ! ! ! ! ! If nothing else, the police may get an investigation going and a chance the child may be taken out of the situation.

My thought exactly.

 

[karategirl]

You did an excellent job of trying to protect an innocent child from 2 adult morons. I agree w/ you about walking away if there wouldn't have been a child involved and I thank you for trying to help that child.

 

[dukalmighty]

Good decision on your part,bad decision on hers

 

[goldshellback]

You did just fine! Bravo Zulu!

That woman keeping that child around that waste of a wanna-be male is the moron!

 

[Joeface]

They said it right. There are far too few people willing to stand up for others nowadays. You showed the manhood to stand up for what is right. You never know, maybe even your brief encounter made an impression on the woman that it doesn't have to be that way. My hat is off to you.

Joe

 

[sigmanluke]

You did the right thing. Don't be so hard on yourself. Something told you what was happening wasn't right and you did what you could. Well done. She is the moron.

 

[Tom G]

I can't understand why any woman would put up with this. A woman has so many other choices these days. It was good that you intervened when you did. The kid didn't deserve this. A man who beats up on a woman is a gutless piece of trash. When you called his bluff he showed his true self.Too bad the police didn't get there soon enough to arrest the bum.He will probably end up killing the woman if she is stupid enough to stay with him. I feel sorry for the kid.

 

[HotGuns]

Thankyou for having the gumption to act.

So many people these days will not intervene for various reasons and they will somehow justify it because it is not the smart,proper,or legal thing to do or maybe they have a wife and a kid to feed or it isnt their problem or they want to be sure they go home that night.

Sometimes you just have to "man up" in spite of all that and do the right thing.

You did that.
For that you have my thanks and congratulations.:bier:

 

[boricua]

It's the sheep dog mentality... most of us in this forum would probably "get involved" at some level.

You did the right thing. At a minimum, you were able to report the behavior and provide descriptions to LEO. Hope they catch the scum bag.

 

[RETSUPT99]

I believe that was the appropriate response...:yup::hand10:

 

[Bunny]

1. You are my hero. I worked as a DV advocate for the last state I lived in, and I wish more people WOULD get involved.

2. Yes, she is an idiot, and that kid should be removed from that house and given to a loving family who can show it a good example of role models and how relationships should work.

3. He will beat her twice as hard now because she had the nerve to let some dude stick up for her in the parking lot. I am 99% sure of that, if past history is any indicator of present/future behavior.

4. DV makes me ill.

5. Did I mention you are my new hero? Good job, Jahwarrior! hearty handshake and clap on the back to you.

 

[mr.stuart]

Glad you are ok. It is good you did not have to shoot. The woman would claim you started it all and want you arrested for murder.

 

[BukWild]

Kudos, you did well, hope the 'authorities' get that baby in a safer situation!

 

[SlowSSls1]

From what you said I feel you did a job well done.

 

[grady]

Once you made the decision to get involved, it sounds like you did everything right: had phone ready, were prepared to defend yourself, called police immediately...

And I'm NOT saying you were wrong to get involved. Your call, and only you could make it based on the factors you saw.

The woman is an idiot for putting up with that treatment. She is the type who eventually gets killed by her "lover".

And yes, she probably would have testified against you as the aggressor, had anything else happened. Fortunately there may have been cameras or witnesses who would back you up.

You gave her a chance, and she threw it away. No way would I criticize you for getting involved this time. But if I saw the same woman doing the same dance again with the guy, I might call the police again but I wouldn't get involved any further than that. If she insists on living that life, that's her choice. No sense in taking you down with her.

No reason to be hard on yourself. You just showed you have some compassion left.

 

[ccw9mm]

was i an idiot for getting involved? maybe, maybe not.

I don't think so, no. Not in this situation.

Every situation is different. These days, if you blink "wrong" in the direction of a would-be felon, your goose is cooked. So, yes, any sort of involvement at any level is a risk. But you don't know. It's a judgment call.

You said it. We all have a bit of responsibility as to how this world is going to turn out. It's what we make of it, to a large degree. Can't do much but monitor and call for the cavalry, many times, but often that's enough.

As this situation showed, if a situation isn't a deadly sort, yet, then it's a reasonable bet that simply hanging around and ensuring things get witnessed is going to go a long way toward helping protect those on the receiving end.

As the attacker quickly found out, public battery wasn't going to be the secretive act that he thought it would be, and he wasn't going to get away with the apparent planned A&B of you. Of course, it's very likely, perhaps even probable, that he simply clocked her once they were in private ... even though she herself was driving to the place of her own battery, with a child in tow.

It's a risk, sure. Though, I probably would have done much the same thing, from hanging around monitoring the actions, to documenting the players and the license plate, to calling the cavalry. Given the young child and the other details you described, IMO it was worth the risk.

Once you made the decision to get involved, it sounds like you did everything right ...

The woman is an idiot for putting up with that treatment. She is the type who eventually gets killed by her "lover".

You gave her a chance, and she threw it away.

Yup. Pretty simple.

Of course, had he pulled a tire iron or knife, and been faster on his toes, things could have turned out differently. No telling how badly it could have gone. Kudos for going into the situation with eyes wide open. Anything else would have been the actions of an idiot.