Apples and oranges for me but I shoot a G19 better than a G30 and an XD45 compact. Tied for the G19 is the HK USP Compact in 40.
To qualify perceived recoil, you need to shoot both calibers out of similar firearms. I tested this once just for fun, not science.
Both firearms are of similar size and weight, not exact but close. Both were single action semi-automatics. For 9mm I used a CZ 75SA and for .45ACP I used a stainless steel Colt Commander.
My test was for speed and accuracy as recoil management is key to this balance. I shot five round strings at 10 yards. I chose this distance because anything closer I tend to point shoot and I wanted a test of AIMED fire.
I ran four strings through each gun, alternating as I went. I shot from a high ready using a random start on my shot timer. All of the shots were aimed not hammered. All of the shots were grouped CoM about fist sized.
I never recorded the actual times but all strings were well under 4 seconds for the 9mm and around a half second slower for the .45ACP.
So, in my completely un-scientific test, the 9mm had the edge in perceived recoil.
I have a Keltec PF9 which I would love to see that experiment conducted with....slow as I am, I couldn't factor in speed of follow-up shots...or weight...just both full-sized was as close as I could get...some difference between steel and alloy/polymer frame weight, but...perceived recoil affects shooters' performance more than it should...I had a rookie who had a Commander...I had a Combat Commander...when we'd shoot, he'd always want to shoot mine...said his kicked too much...till I loaded both up and emptied them at the same time into the target...holding them with only thumb and forefinger...once he SAW that they both kicked the same(or very close), he took his gun back and shot great with it...