+1 on the G-30Glock 30
Good advice, and another vote for trying the Kahr's. You won't find a smaller 45 than the PM45, it's noticably thinner than the Glock G36. I have a P45, and it conceals very well in a good holster. I tried a PM45, some people love them, but with my large hands it just was not comfortable to me. The P45 is big enough that I can get all 3 fingers on the grip. But again, try as many as you can, and get what feels best to you.Whichever way you lean, please try out your selections at a range that rents the guns you're interested in. That, or pester friends and family to let you try theirs.
Otherwise, you'll just be basing your selections on everyone else's choices, which might be quite different than yours.