[Texspeech]

Hello,
Normally I post on the Defensive Carry Guns forum but I didn't think this topic really belonged there. I am looking/wanting a shotgun for home defense or a lever action .357 to go along with the Ruger Blackhawk and S&W 686+ that I currently have. Originally my wife said that she would be okay with me getting a shotgun if I got a safe for it. Well, I did that but she has since changed her tune. Now she says she doesn't want another gun in the house and that she had a difficult time "letting" me keep the ones I already have. I think a lot of this is due to the fact that we have a child in the house but some of it seems to be either: a control issue or a completely irrational fear of guns. She comes from a very liberal ( hippy) family so that may be an influence. I, on the other hand, come from a family that has always had guns; I personally started shooting at 6 years old with my dad's .22 Buckmark. I have thought about just getting it and enduring hell on earth for a while until logic and reasoning get the best of her.
So, I'm asking ya'll, what should I do? Be happy with the two I have (she says I don't use the ones I already have(?)) or get the rifle/shotgun and just keep my head down for a while? I'm afraid if Billary gets elected on Tuesday then firearms in general will become scarce.

 

[Poppy42]

Sometimes a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do. Grow some, buy your gun. As long as you are not spending money needed ealse ware.

 

[Doogie]

Take her shooting. My spouse comes from a no gun family. Now she has 2 Chl's. When I took her to the range for the first time, I had her practice stance, grip, sighting, ( try this video:

) basic range safety, loading and unloading and nomenclature. We did all of this at home in the kitchen. Then I let her know we have strict rules about keeping firearms out of the reach of minors. The first trip to the range was very intimidating for her and scared her a bit being in a range with strangers. She actually did very well. When we got home she said she had never ever held or fired a firearm. Then I set her up with a local NRA pistol course so she could get classroom training.

She is still a novice. But her attitude is 100% different and she knows that I am very serious about firearm safety.


BTW, I did this slowly over a 2-3 year period. You might discover that she becomes more interested in firearms than you do....

 

[Texspeech]

Sometimes a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do. Grow some, buy your gun. As long as you are not spending money needed ealse ware.

That's what I've been thinking. Grow a spine and just do it; and money isn't an issue, even she said so. Thank you.

 

[ghost tracker]

You titled this tread correctly. She certainly has powerfully persuaded...you. Do you "let" her know how many whales she can save or trees she can hug? Do you limit the pairs of Birkenstock sandals she's "allowed" in the closet? Marriage is a partnership, and you don't have to agree on EVERYthing to...enjoy it! Heck, Mrs. GT eats at...McDonalds!! :blink:

 

[Doogie]

Show her this: https://www.nratv.com/nra-women


Today women talk about empowerment......self defense is just that

 

[Texspeech]

That's the thing. I have never told her what she can or can't buy or do. Last year she spent 3g's on a cruise for her and our daughter (I don't do boats and I had a week to myself) and I didn't say a word. Geez I need some scene control.

 

[Texspeech]

Take her shooting. My spouse comes from a no gun family. Now she has 2 Chl's. When I took her to the range for the first time, I had her practice stance, grip, sighting, ( try this video:

) basic range safety, loading and unloading and nomenclature. We did all of this at home in the kitchen. Then I let her know we have strict rules about keeping firearms out of the reach of minors. The first trip to the range was very intimidating for her and scared her a bit being in a range with strangers. She actually did very well. When we got home she said she had never ever held or fired a firearm. Then I set her up with a local NRA pistol course so she could get classroom training.

She is still a novice. But her attitude is 100% different and she knows that I am very serious about firearm safety.


BTW, I did this slowly over a 2-3 year period. You might discover that she becomes more interested in firearms than you do....

I have tried for nearly seventeen years to get her to go to the range with me but she absolutely refuses.

 

[WrongRecroom]

The good news is non semi auto guns will be around for a lot longer then pumps or semi gun ..In most countries you can own a lever or normal a pump shotgun

Frankly me I would just get a couple of AR lowers to have stick them in a small safe ..Not like they can do any damge or harm anyone unless you drop them on your foot...

 

[Doogie]

That's the thing. I have never told her what she can or can't buy or do. Last year she spent 3g's on a cruise for her and our daughter (I don't do boats and I had a week to myself) and I didn't say a word. Geez I need some scene control.

Then why bring it up? Get a Mossberg Maverick 88 12ga pump for under $300 and stick it in the safe. I never tell my wife when I buy a new gun. She never tells me when she buys new shoes......meh? :embarassed:

 

[Haywood]

I herd of this some where. A guy keeps a empty gun case in the trunk of his car. If and when he buys a gun and the wife sees him bringing it in, he tells her he had this for a while and tried to sell it but, the deal didn't go through.

 

[Ianthin]

When you got married, you both agreed to accept each others personality traits for life. You knew she was anti-gun going in, and she knew you were pro-gun going in. This is something that should be settled before marriage, like whether you want kids, where you want to live, career goals, etc. If you step out and buy the gun you want, be aware that it could ultimately land you in divorce court. If you want to have a chance to turn here your direction, it's going to take time, and maybe lots of it. It's going to take you honoring her wishes, while demonstrating the utmost safety when the guns are around. It may be all she'll stand for, and you'll have to adjust your personal defense strategy accordingly.

But IMO, just by your wording and putting the word letting in quotes, it tells me that you two may have some deeper issues to resolve.

 

[bubbatime]

She only ALLOWS you to own two guns? Is that what I'm reading?

Live the life you want. Own the stuff you want. You should have spending money to spend on your hobbies, as she should have spending money to spend on her hobbies.

I'll never, ever understand this asking the wife if I can go buy something I want. But then again, I'll never allow myself to be emasculated by a woman that wants to "run" things. A marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship ran by a woman with a man asking for "permissions".

Basically, my best advise is to make some changes to your relationship. It has to suck asking mommy for permission every time you want something.

If/when funds allow, go buy a gun you want (WITHOUT ASKING PERMISSION), bring it home when she is home (make sure she sees it). When she has a problem with it, tell her to get over herself and to stop treating you like a child.

Obviously every budget is different, but if you can set aside $20-$100 per week aside for yourself, you should be able to buy a new gun/ammo/accessory for yourself every month or three.

 

[ghost tracker]

Bubba, isn't that called "back-of-the-billfold cash"? Now, it should only be funded AFTER the family is safe, fed & happy. But, nonetheless, it SHOULD be...funded! :biggrin2:

 

[bmcgilvray]

These posts come up often here and I'm always floored by them. I know the trite expression: "Happy wife, happy life," but there truly is a flip side to that. It's difficult to comprehend allowing oneself to be dictated to in these matters, but apparently it is very common. How does this get started within a marriage relationship? Once it is allowed to start, how does one ever change the dynamic?

We've been married 38 years next week and I don't want a persistent outbreak of "letting me" to strike the household.

 

[Nmuskier]

lever action rifles will be around after this election. your issue seems to be opening the eyes of someone who was raised with a blindfold. show her what real gun safety is, and why it really works. be 100% committed to gun safety, which includes training/education. let her read about safety, and kids and guns https://www.corneredcat.com/contents/
let other gun savvy women inform her, because a woman's husband can be the biggest idiot in her world.

 

[Texspeech]

Thanks everybody for the responses. A couple of them struck a nerve but that's okay, if I didn't want opinions/views I wouldn't have started this thread. I don't want ya'll to think I am whipped and never get a say. For the most part, I have final say on expenses and purchases (I make more money than she does); guns just seem to be a hot button right now because it's all I talk about/ look at on interweb (well, that and running) so I think she is just a little over-stimulated by it all right now. I think given time, she will come around to the purchase of a long gun.

 

[dangerranger]

Bubba, isn't that called "back-of-the-billfold cash"? Now, it should only be funded AFTER the family is safe, fed & happy. But, nonetheless, it SHOULD be...funded! :biggrin2:

In my house its called She-money, Its money she doesn't know about. More importantly its money I earn on the side and doesn't come out of her budget.

I have an idea that she knows exactly how much is in the She-money account! Every so often she comes up with these projects that cost exactly what I have in there! But I can't prove it! DR

 

[Doogie]

My wife is used to me just showing up with stuff..........I actually bought a house in Florida over the internet and we had 10 days to inspect it before the contract was binding. So, I called her and said "hey what are you doing the day after tomorrow?"

She said "nothing"....I said "good because we are flying to Florida to check out the house i just bought." :hand5: It was a very quiet flight. But she really liked the house.

The moral: It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission.

 

[BkCo1]

Might I suggest another cruise for her. Then with being alone and nothing to do you should go SHOPPING! Be sure to get ammo and go shooting. Then tell her it is used and you cannot return it.