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Has anyone else wondered why tennis balls come in a vacuum-sealed container?
They are sealed in a pressurized container, not a vacuumed one.
 
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Two old men, close to their last days, decide to have a last night on the town. After a few drinks, they end up at the local brothel.

The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager, “Go up to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed. These two are so old and drunk, I’m not wasting two of my girls on them. They won’t know the difference.”

The manager does as he is told and the two old men go upstairs and take care of their business.

As they are walking home, the first man says, “You know, I think my girl was dead!”

“Dead?” says his friend, “Why do you say that?”

“Well, she never moved or made a sound.”

His friend says, “Could be worse, I think mine was a witch.”

“A witch? Why the hell would you say that?”

“Well, I was kissing her on the neck and gave her a little bite and then she farted, flew out the window and took my teeth with her!”
 

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I wonder how many people are attempting to cook for the first time.

Glad I learned many years ago.

Kitchen fires up 88 percent as residents stay at home, Durham Fire Department says

DURHAM, N.C. (WTVD) -- Firetrucks and firefighters are something you never want to see at your home. But the Durham Fire Department said they've seen a major increase in calls.

"During the stay-at-home order there's a lot of kitchen fires. Well that makes complete sense when you think about it," said Durham Fire Department Chief Robert Zoldos.

Since the beginning of the stay-at-home order, Durham Fire Department said they've seen an 88 percent increase in kitchen fires.

"Everyone's at home. And a lot of people--not me--but my kids are experimenting with cooking and trying new things," Zoldos said.
https://abc11.com/durham-fd-kitchen-fires-up-88-percent-as-people-stay-home/6193231/
 

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I miss my friend. Today is the nineteenth year anniversary of his killing by Bobbie L. Grunden. Stuff happens, but it shouldn't have happened to him.
 

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I'll try to be brief.

My very good friend was the Steward on a new casino facility being built in our foothills near an old mining town. He had with him his oldest son who was just a first-year apprentice and assigned to the same project. At around 6:15am on this date in 2001, as he and his son were traveling up the hill to the job, a senior gentleman named Bobbie L. Grunden was driving a vehicle he was incompetent and unlicensed to operate for his son's small trucking company was coming downhill. The man hooked his right front wheel just off the pavement onto a gravel shoulder through a curve, overcompensated by jerking the wheel to the left, and slammed just off dead center into the front of Mikel's pickup truck. Mikel was erased. He was damaged so completely that I and the family were not allowed to see the body under any circumstances. This act of kindness by the Sheriff's Dept. to spare the wife and sons the horror of Mikel's remains, unwittingly caused some psychological problems for his widow.

He was a Marine who, after the service, got into the electrical construction trade through Local 68 here in Denver. His dad had been a lineman. I met Mikel when I was assigned to his crew at Denver International Airport when it was coming out of the ground. That lasted about a month until I was made one of the job Stewards, at which point the contractor whisked me away from everybody to inhibit my Union duties allowed by contract. Through a series of unique events, we eventually became friends. We went hunting together with our families. He had a DeMolay background like me and had vast experience as a Mason, so I finally became a Mason myself and joined his Lodge. We and our wives went out to drink, dance, and shoot pool. We'd go to Country/Western bars often enough together that I felt compelled to buy a good dressy Stetson cowboy hat, even though I loathe the music. We bowled together on leagues. My wife and I would go spend a weekend at his folks' place in a tiny Kansas town/village. We spent plenty of time together.

It took two years of grieving to find some measure of peace. He was the closest friend I have ever had.

This wasn't as brief as I'd hoped and I've left so very much out, but I hope I've related a bit of the story of his passing not too poorly.
 

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Prolly not a good idea to post after....think it’s going on #3 of luscious Brandy Alexander’s shook with nutmeg, Mmmmm! :image035:

Usually one one drink is the limit, I’m going covid gecko tonight and living dangerously 😎
 

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I'll try to be brief.

My very good friend was the Steward on a new casino facility being built in our foothills near an old mining town. He had with him his oldest son who was just a first-year apprentice and assigned to the same project. At around 6:15am on this date in 2001, as he and his son were traveling up the hill to the job, a senior gentleman named Bobbie L. Grunden was driving a vehicle he was incompetent and unlicensed to operate for his son's small trucking company was coming downhill. The man hooked his right front wheel just off the pavement onto a gravel shoulder through a curve, overcompensated by jerking the wheel to the left, and slammed just off dead center into the front of Mikel's pickup truck. Mikel was erased. He was damaged so completely that I and the family were not allowed to see the body under any circumstances. This act of kindness by the Sheriff's Dept. to spare the wife and sons the horror of Mikel's remains, unwittingly caused some psychological problems for his widow.

He was a Marine who, after the service, got into the electrical construction trade through Local 68 here in Denver. His dad had been a lineman. I met Mikel when I was assigned to his crew at Denver International Airport when it was coming out of the ground. That lasted about a month until I was made one of the job Stewards, at which point the contractor whisked me away from everybody to inhibit my Union duties allowed by contract. Through a series of unique events, we eventually became friends. We went hunting together with our families. He had a DeMolay background like me and had vast experience as a Mason, so I finally became a Mason myself and joined his Lodge. We and our wives went out to drink, dance, and shoot pool. We'd go to Country/Western bars often enough together that I felt compelled to buy a good dressy Stetson cowboy hat, even though I loathe the music. We bowled together on leagues. My wife and I would go spend a weekend at his folks' place in a tiny Kansas town/village. We spent plenty of time together.

It took two years of grieving to find some measure of peace. He was the closest friend I have ever had.

This wasn't as brief as I'd hoped and I've left so very much out, but I hope I've related a bit of the story of his passing not too poorly.
I'm just now seeing this. I'm so very sorry for the sudden loss of your friend. I can't imagine how painful that is for his family and you. Life is so random.
 

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This little one has become a daily visitor behind our fence. It now would eat out of our hand, however I won’t let it get that close to me, don’t want to get bit. Very pretty and young, hope it doesn’t get into the yard or it would be meat pie with the dogs.

So....my better half decided it needed a name, so he named it Governor Northam :smile:


E7023F11-DE05-4F4E-A1CA-4C13F5A862E3.jpeg
 

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This little one has become a daily visitor behind our fence. It now would eat out of our hand, however I won’t let it get that close to me, don’t want to get bit. Very pretty and young, hope it doesn’t get into the yard or it would be meat pie with the dogs.

So....my better half decided it needed a name, so he named it Governor Northam :smile:


View attachment 328430
Three raccoons were provided new residences far, far away from OldVetlandia a couple weeks ago. One was not such a happy camper.
 

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We have a Pug that is fourteen, blind, deaf, with allergies. It is heart breaking to watch her aging. She sleeps about twenty hours a day.
Yes sir. I have a 14 year old Lab with a list of health problems. Humans seem to develop problems over time. With dogs and their shorter life spans, it seems like they they develop these problems as quick as you can snap your fingers.
 
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