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Discussion Starter #1
Has been a long night.
Came home from work last night to my Daughter crying so hard she couldn't talk. After I got her calmed down, she shared a FaceTime video of a friend taking a bottle of pills.
The young lady is in ICU this morning as I type.

In talking with my Daughter I found out that her friend has been saying she wanted to die for a couple of weeks. The girls have tried to talk with her and tell her how much they care.
My Daughter feels like she failed her friend.

Talk with your kids, grandkids, neighbor kids. Even if you have nothing in common, just acknowledging that you see them as worth knowing. No telling what impact you might have on their lives.I

For me? God has granted me another day in which to serve Him. My job is to simply follow where He leads.
 

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That’s a tough situation. This hits close to home, we almost lost a daughter to suicide but were fortunate a friend intervened (that friend’s sister had committed suicide, she literally dragged my daughter to a school counselor when she got wind of the plan). My daughter went through a half year of hospitalization, is still in counseling, and is doing well now.

You’ve probably already told your daughter it’s not her fault, and are correct. But there will be a long period of self doubt and regret she’ll have to work through. Be sure to remind her she matters to you, and point blank ask if she’s thinking of hurting herself too.
 

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The young lady is in ICU this morning as I type.
Let's hope she pulls through and gets the help she needs.

In talking with my Daughter I found out that her friend has been saying she wanted to die for a couple of weeks. The girls have tried to talk with her and tell her how much they care.
My Daughter feels like she failed her friend.
Normal reaction, be sure to tell her that she was not responsible for the actions of the other girl. If someone is determined to take their own life, they will find a way.
 

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My BEST friend for decades went into a downward spiral, ending in eating his dad's 1911. Just like stopping a shooter/terrorist, other person, with bad intention's you can't blame yourself. Do what you can, & if they are a minor, well, I'm at a loss, as I'm not a professional, but that's probably the way to go. Counseling too.
 

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I think it's important to know when to get authorities involved. No blame to the friends who (I assume) didn't do so, there's a lot of social programming that tells people to avoid that. It needs to be understood that it's okay to get third parties involved if someone is at risk of suicide. Sometimes people need professional help, whether or not they seek it on their own.
 

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I've been doing that for a long time. I will say that one thing most people neglect doing is to CALL A PROFESSIONAL IMMEDIATELY.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours everyday


You can help by going to their side, but sadly sometimes people who do not deal with suicide issues may say the wrong thing. Don't allow fear that you may say the wrong thing stop you though. Be a good listener and don't talk a lot. Try if you can discreetly and safely do it, to remove any weapons or drugs (pills) and do whatever you can to put those things on your person where only you can access them.

In larger communities, law enforcement may have trained and experienced officers that can help. Don't call police in the presence of the person you're trying to help. Be reassuring to the person when officers arrive.

There are some good materials available from your local suicide lifeline people that will explain more.
@TSKnight I'm sorry your daughter and you had to experience this. Wish I could have been there for you, brother.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Thank you.

I have not heard anything since this morning. Praying that is for the good.
My Daughter is with her in-home worker tonight and is as good emotionally as can be expected right now.

No, none of the friends reached out for help, even though it is readily available within the school and outside.
That is where my Daughter seems to be at right now. Kicking herself for not telling someone about what her friend had been saying.

I've been there myself many years ago before I got sober. God saw fit to put people in my life that I needed at that time. They convinced me to get the help I needed.

I have lost three good friends to suicide, two in the last 15 years. Losing them was difficult as an adult. I can only imagine how much more difficult it is for a teen to get through.
 

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When the wife was still drinking, sober for 8 years now, she tried committing suicide multiple times and was hospitalized after 3 of them. Being bipolar, the alcohol was negating her medications and the doctors were having a hard time finding the right combo that worked because of the drinking, which I found out later she hid from them.

There is no way to describe the helpless feelings you have watching someone you love laying there in a coma, tubes everywhere, clinging to life. Thankfully she is still with us and doing well. She's on the right med combo, sees her counselor once a month and is enjoying life.

I think your daughter did the best she could and no matter what she could have, would have done, it seems as though her friend was going to try killing herself in spite of efforts to help. But to Facetime people while she did it shows she has mental health issues and the suicide attempt is just the beginning. I pray she makes it through this and gets the help she desperately needs.
 

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My first girlfriend attempted suicide while we were together for no apparent reason that I could ascertain at the time. She then attempted to murder me. That's when I left her and about two years later, a buddy called me after I returned home from work and informed me that this very disturbed young woman had finally succeeded in killing herself. I just dropped to my knees and lost it.

If someone actually intends to take their own life they will eventually do it. There is nothing anyone else can do to prevent it... And, just to clarify a fact, it is not my fault my former girlfriend took her own life.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
When the wife was still drinking, sober for 8 years now, she tried committing suicide multiple times and was hospitalized after 3 of them. Being bipolar, the alcohol was negating her medications and the doctors were having a hard time finding the right combo that worked because of the drinking, which I found out later she hid from them.

There is no way to describe the helpless feelings you have watching someone you love laying there in a coma, tubes everywhere, clinging to life. Thankfully she is still with us and doing well. She's on the right med combo, sees her counselor once a month and is enjoying life.

I think your daughter did the best she could and no matter what she could have, would have done, it seems as though her friend was going to try killing herself in spite of efforts to help. But to Facetime people while she did it shows she has mental health issues and the suicide attempt is just the beginning. I pray she makes it through this and gets the help she desperately needs.
Been there done that. You are right that there is no way to describe the feelings that will allow someone else to understand.

Getting the idea across to my Daughter that she did what she could and is not to blame for what her friend did is the t tough part.
On a cognitive level she understands. That hasn't connected with her emotionally yet.
 

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I think it's important to know when to get authorities involved. No blame to the friends who (I assume) didn't do so, there's a lot of social programming that tells people to avoid that. It needs to be understood that it's okay to get third parties involved if someone is at risk of suicide. Sometimes people need professional help, whether or not they seek it on their own.

This is particularly good advice when it comes to teens ..... teens should understand before they hear of a situation with a friend that they (the teen) are not likely equipped to handle it and they need to know to bring in an adult that can get the help that's needed.
 

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If someone actually intends to take their own life they will eventually do it. There is nothing anyone else can do to prevent it... And, just to clarify a fact, it is not my fault my former girlfriend took her own life.
Sorry for your loss, that had to be a tough situation.

I disagree about the inevitability of suicide, though. In our case our daughter had a plan, had the tools (a knife), had practiced dozens of times without our awareness, and was only caught by a friend when she let something "off" slip. She was a great actress and kept her problems hidden. After being asked she plainly admitted it, and spent the next half year hospitalized. Personal and family counseling got her to express how much she disliked herself. It also helped her recognize how she would talk herself into downward spirals in major depressive episodes. It also helped her learn to recognize when she was doing this to herself, and mental techniques to walk back from the edge.

She's still in counseling, still on meds, but back to a normal life and hasn't had a major depressive episode in over a year. In a couple years, when her hormones stabilize more (part of the problem, extreme estrogen swings like nuclear powered PMS contribute in her case) she'll taper off her meds. She'll face this forever, but suicide is not inevitable. Others with similar medical problems have overcome the same challenge and lived long productive lives.
 

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Just a quick update. The young lady is out of ICU and was moved to an inpatient rehabilitation center this afternoon.
Praying she will accept the help that is offered.
My Daughter is in much better spirits since hearing that her friend made it and is getting the help she needs.
 

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Good on your daughter for coming to you with the situation. I hope she is able to overcome the feelings she is experiencing in relation to her friends actions. I have lost a couple of friends to suicide, I wish every day that they would have reached out to someone. It is a real motivator for me personally to take my life seriously and to be the best person I can be, and to always remember that no matter how down I feel, there are people out there that care.

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Just a quick update. The young lady is out of ICU and was moved to an inpatient rehabilitation center this afternoon.
Praying she will accept the help that is offered.
My Daughter is in much better spirits since hearing that her friend made it and is getting the help she needs.
That's good to hear. Also tell her that usually the people that say they want to die or commit suicide are reaching out for help in their own way. They still might be stubborn, try to resist help, and even could still get worse, but they are saying something.

I'm almost 57 and my best friend since middle school committed suicide almost five years ago. He had closed a business and was having trouble figuring out what to do. Took a couple jobs that didn't really work out well for him, but I figured he would find his way. He NEVER said a word about suicide or wanting to die. He was always smiling and helping anyone with anything they needed. I knew he was a little lonely since he never married and was just in a brief relationship that had recently ended. His parents lived just a couple blocks from him and he had a great relationship with them.

His dad couldn't get a hold of him one day so he drove over to his house around the corner and found that he hung himself with a ski rope from his bedroom door. He was an avid barefooter and pretty good at it. He was also a .44 Magnum revolver kind of guy too and that was my first thought when found out, but didn't know how he did it. I felt he was too proud of a gun owner to use a gun and that's how it turned out.

The reason I am saying this is my friend really decided to kill himself and made sure it would happen without giving anyone a warning. I still think I should have known and feel some guilt, but the reality is he wouldn't want me to feel that way. Your daughter still has an opportunity to help her friend and hopefully make enough difference for her to get better.
 

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Thanks,

School starts next week. The young Lady has been home from treatment about a month and my Daughter has had a chance to visit, laugh and cry with her.
This same group of girls lost one of their circle to cancer this summer. I've been watching them face life's challenges this summer and am proud to see them pull together as Friends.

As much as we want to shelter our children from the perils of this world; it is through those times that they often grow the most.
 

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Prayers the young lady pulls through and recovers.

Being a teen is hard with everything that they deal with. From bullying, peer pressure, to social media and fake friends on top of school pressure. Kids just need to be kids. Wish all kids could see their value and worth in life. Even in the darkest days, the sun still rises.
 
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