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Hi,

I am extreamly new to CC. As a mater of fact, my permit should come in the mail on Tuesday!

I purchased a holster (crossbreed) for my Glock 22 (.40) and when it first arrived, I put it on right away to try it out, and cooked dinner. After dinner I asked my wife if she noticed anything. She gave me a funny look...and said, "no."

I said, "good" and lifted my shirt to show her my new holster.

She said, "It makes me nervous when you have that with you."
Then she said, "What if someone knows you have it and try to hurt you...or me."

I replied, "What if they don't know I have it and try to hurt one of us?"

Also, she does not see the "need" because of the extreamly small town we live in.

Here's my question: How can I make my wife more comfortable with me CCing?


Thanks,

John
 

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i live in texas. and a woman was shopping at a walmart. she had finished her shopping loaded up her vehicle drove home. while in her garage unloading her vehicle she was attacked by an intruder.

turns out the cams at walmart shows him following her and watching her through out the store and he actually follower her some and attacked her once she was in her garage. and he rapped her. this is something that happened in broad daylight. it can happen to any one.

just try to assure her its not some male macho thing. its for your protection as well as her own. i dont know if you have any children, but i do i have three. it helps me knowing if i had a gun i would be doing all i could to protect them knowing its my right to have one. so why not carry one safe and responsibly. and pray that the ppl in your little town never prove your wife wrong! take her to the shooting range with you. let her feel what it is like to hold and fire one. i did this with a friend of mines who would not even look at a gun. once she felt it fire...it was on! she frequents the shooting range now.

you could take her to gun shows. we have them alot over here. let her see all the women there. let her find a gun she could maybe be comfortable with.
 

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She said, "It makes me nervous when you have that with you."
How nervous does it make you when she goes shopping for shoes?
You have your work cut out for you no doubt. Wishing you the best.
 

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Let me just share a little story.
After receiving my CHL, my wife also thought it was stupid as well.

We meet in CA and just moved to Ohio. She still held on to her CA way of thinking until we went exploring on our 4-wheeler. She was a passenger riding behind me when we came across a cock fighting ring. Immediately, she started "patting" my side and asking "do you have your gun on you?"

It's been about 5 years since and she has never questioned my ccw since. Although, I do get allot of flack about deer hunting. ;-)
 

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Thoughts from a female:

1) See if she'd be willing to go to a safety class with you.

2) Find out more about what makes her nervous. Listen to her concerns and take them seriously. Find out what she needs to feel more okay.

3) If you're new to guns, does she feel confident that you understand safe handling?
 

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It took my wife 32 years to come around...add to that a bad experience in a parking garage and she decided she wanted a gun and a permit...the rest is history. That was 6 years ago. She never questions when I have my firearm on my person which is whenever I'm not at school.:yup:
I'd start by sharing every crime story you can find in the area and state...there are plenty to choose from...awareness is half the battle.OMO
 

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Hi,

I am extreamly new to CC. As a mater of fact, my permit should come in the mail on Tuesday!

I purchased a holster (crossbreed) for my Glock 22 (.40) and when it first arrived, I put it on right away to try it out, and cooked dinner. After dinner I asked my wife if she noticed anything. She gave me a funny look...and said, "no."

I said, "good" and lifted my shirt to show her my new holster.

She said, "It makes me nervous when you have that with you."
Then she said, "What if someone knows you have it and try to hurt you...or me."

I replied, "What if they don't know I have it and try to hurt one of us?"

Also, she does not see the "need" because of the extreamly small town we live in.

Here's my question: How can I make my wife more comfortable with me CCing?


Thanks,

John
It's been years since I've been to L'Anse, yes it is a small nice town. But bad things can happen to good people anytime, anywhere, no appointment necessary. Tell your wife you carry because you love her and want to keep her safe, both at home and anywhere else you two might go.
It will probably take some time for her to understand, but remind her also that in a small town police response times are often much longer than in a larger city or a Metro area, and should something ever happen you want to be prepared to stay safe.
As far as the shoe shopping thing, tell her it is part of getting dressed everyday, just like putting on shoes.
For me, truthfully I'd rather have another gun, than another pair of shoes.:yup:
 

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How nervous does it make you when she goes shopping for shoes?
You have your work cut out for you no doubt. Wishing you the best.
HaHaHa!!! Thats funny! My wife and I have a agreement....every five pairs of shoes she buy's...i get a new gun! :danceban:
 

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Have her read the attached article. This is my wife and her parents, who live in the country.....not even in town.......
 

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There are good suggestions but no easy answers. Many times people need a bad personal experience close to them before their opinions on this topic change.

I can tell you, my wife did not want me to even buy a single pistol for home defense; despite the fact that we have two friends (one a next door neighbor) whose homes were burglarized. They were not home though, so no danger! :rolleyes:

We sort of made a don't ask, don't tell arrangement on the pistol. She has literally never seen it. I keep them in quick-access safes and when I strap it on, clean it or get ready to take them to the range I do it behind a closed door.

I did get her to take a handgun safety class with me before I bought it and though it was just 4 of us in the class and on the range, only one shooting a time with a very good instructor, she would not take her turn shooting and declared she will never touch a gun.

This weekend there was a shooting across the street around 1:30 AM and I immediately strapped on a pistol while we talked to 911. I concealed it from her, but she later noticed the slight bulge of the PM9 (I'm wearing pajamas and a t-shirt) when I gave her a hug and she patted my 5:00. She asked what that bulge was, I said what do you think it is. She said that was scary to her. I said what is scary, that I have it or that I clearly have a reason to have it. She said both.

What are you going to do.
 

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Yea..... Leah still has the mark on her forehead where the bullet grazed her.....

And so THAT folks is the reason we carry, EVERYWHERE!! When people make fun of you for carring in your house..... fell free to print this out....... and even though it seems to be a fluke.... it could save your life!
 

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Time has been on my side. After carrying for a long period of time GF has become very comfortable with me carrying. I think my confidence in what I do has really helped.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
Wow...you guys are FAST!

Thanks for the imput. I think we will work well with a, "don't ask, don't tell" policy for now. She is the type of person to go to the range, "just to watch" then when everyone leaves she wants to try. I think she's just uneasy because we don't have any friends that CC.

As for the shoes...if I got a new gun everytime she got her 5th pair of shoes...I would need a bigger gun safe!

Thanks again,
John
 

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We sort of made a don't ask, don't tell arrangement on the pistol. She has literally never seen it. I keep them in quick-access safes and when I strap it on, clean it or get ready to take them to the range I do it behind a closed door.

she would not take her turn shooting and declared she will never touch a gun.
I will never understand women. :aargh4:
 

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Here's what I've got, maybe this will help others:

My other half grew up in a house with guns. She had seen them, held them, even fired them a few times as a kid. I thought this would translate into at least a certain comfort level around firearms. Wrong! It didn't even translate into factual knowledge of firearms. She bought into the media depiction of gun owners as beer-swilling, four-wheeling, shoot-em-up hillbillies (I've met the "men" in her family and, well, her opinions aren't entirely unfounded.) She thinks the only reason a law-abiding citizen carries a gun is out of some deep-seated desire to be a vigilante hero or to build up a macho self-image.

She knew I was interested in firearms when we were dating because I would briefly bring it up in conversation that I was doing research on gun laws, gun ownership, and different models of pistol. She was in denial; my words went in one ear and out the other. I bought my pistol about a year after we were together (saving pennies takes time) and she hit the roof.

It was classic "you brought that into my house?" and so on. (Funny, it's "our" house when the bills are due, but it's "her" house when the rules get made) In fairness, after a while she did go with me to the gun range once. I thought this was going to be a monumental turning point in her attitude. It was more of a lane-change than an actual turning point. In the end, a truce was reached with a "don't ask, don't tell" policy which became my primary motivation for CC instead of OC. I should also add that she didn't object to me taking our (her) daughter to the range.

There are few things (VERY few things) where I refuse to compromise in this relationship; carrying a firearm is one of them. I told her I'm willing to talk about guns any time she wants (no inquiries so far) and I would be happy to point her to some resources where she can get the facts (FBI, DoJ, CDC, etc.) about crime and accident statistics.

The initial "blowout" was almost a year ago and has since mellowed into a non-issue (she doesn't know about the M4 yet...). This may be the best you can hope for in your situation.

A couple of suggestions:

1. Invite her to the gun range, but don't push it
2. Know your sh:t when it comes to the facts and be prepared to cite sources
3. Continue conducting yourself in a level-headed, law-abiding manner at all times
 

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Does nothing bad ever happen in a small town? Is it really just neighbors exchanging apple pies and cookies?

I bet everyone who was raped, robbed, assaulted, murdered, mugged, and kidnapped thought it wouldn't happen to them as well. Something to think about.
 
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