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From a friend of mine on another forum. Not sure if this is the right place; Mods please move if required.

Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Benelli Super Black Eagle 12ga shotgun right in the doorway. I set 6 shells right next to it. Noticing it had no legs of its own; I even placed it on a wheeled cart to help it get around. I then left it alone and went about my business.

While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign right in front of my house. After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there on the cart right where I’d left it. It hadn’t rolled itself outside. It certainly hadn’t killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadn’t even loaded itself.

Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people. Either the media is wrong, and it’s the misuse of guns by PEOPLE who kill people, or I’m in possession of the laziest gun in the world.

Well, I’m off the check on my spoons. I hear they’re making people fat.
 

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Doesn't your friend know anything?

First of all a Benelli is far to refined for such antics. He needs to get himself one of those poor low encome Mossberg 500s, then he has to paint it black because that is what gives the berg a menacing attitude. That isn't enough though, next you have to give the berg one of those slings that can hold over 20 extra shells, and one of those buttstock covers that can also hold extra shells.
Now I know you might be thinking alright now will it go out and kill on its own? No not yet. You have to give it the right ammo, it isn't going to be blowing doors down with target load. Now he is cheap but not stupid, he knows he needs back up so you have to pair him up with his best pal Mossberg tactical in .22lr (any higher then a .22 in they tend to get a little snobby and think they can go and do it themselves). Now make sure you give this naturally born black gun 30 round mags or it wont work. If it isn't 30 round mags then it just thinks you are going to go mess around at the range.

Also they do not like the cold, so make sure it is a nice warm morning, preferably just as the sun is coming up (the tactical likes to catch people with that morning glare) and also the porch was a bad idea to set them on. They get to comfortable, set them next to some dems car that has an Obama bidan sticker. That will kick things off.
 

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Better check your knives because of what happened yesterday, the Libs will be saying that knives hurt and cut people and will want to ban those next. God Bless :smile:
 

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I did my Mosin-Nagant 91/30 like that but it also failed to go and kill.

My instructions were in English. Since the weapon is a former Soviet one, I needed to instruct it in Russian. Epic fail.

Now I have to go learn another language.
 
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