I don't have a wife. :wink:
My favorite carry gun is a Glock 26, but that doesn't mean a lot -- your wife will have to do her
own research to find out what she likes and what fits her hand.
You can't really pick the best gun for her because
- your hands are not the same size as her hands (and gun fit really is a personal thing),
- you cannot climb inside her skin and feel what she feels when she pulls the trigger (and everybody has different perceptions of and tolerance for recoil), and
- you can't feel what she feels when she pulls the trigger (and everyone has a different perception of and tolerance for different trigger weights and pull sensations), and
- you can't feel what she feels as she tries to reach and manipulate the firearm's controls, and finally,
- looks matter (and the chances are that what's attractive to you may not be attractive to her).
So don't try to select her gun for her or even narrow down the choices on her behalf.
You cannot narrow her choices down for her, because you do not have the physical equipment to do it. She's the only one who really can.
Instead, present her with big-picture choices first ("revolver or semi-auto?" -- "with or without external safeties and decocking levers?") and then encourage her to narrow down the choices from there based on her feedback and perception of the guns she has handled in the store.
Help her to understand that smaller guns are generally easier to carry but less pleasant to shoot, while larger / heavier guns are generally more pleasant to shoot but more difficult to carry. Explain that "pleasant to shoot" isn't just a
hobbyists' concern, but a vital question for someone who intends to defend herself using the firearm, because she'll need to practice with it. The less enthusiastic about practice she generally is, the more necessary it becomes that her carry gun is
not unpleasant to shoot.
When it is time to make the final determination,
get her out to a range with a rental version of the firearm type she is most interested in. It does no good for her to select a "cute" little lightweight snubby or a tiny little plastic .380 if she cannot tolerate the recoil or finds the controls too difficult to manipulate or the slide too stiff for her hands.
Hope this helps.
Oh, edited to add a link:
www.corneredcat.com/Men/buywifegun.aspx
pax