To subjective to answer IMO. Just don't discount guns because they look too big. There are many guns, up to full size guns, that people with smaller hands easily handle. The M&P's, Ruger SR's, some CZ's, and Sigs for example are easily manipulated by people with small hands. Often, the smaller a gun gets, the harder it is to use. But you'll need t find your own balance between concealability and function. Snubs are a great option as well but can also be a handful to shoot.
Anything you chose can be trained around though. Just take some classes and practice a lot.
Walk out of any gun shop if a sales person directs you to "guns for the ladies". They're all for the ladies. Your wrist can handle anything mine can and there are very few handguns the average female hand can't manipulate just as well as a man's hand. Decide on the features you want (DA/SA, striker, DAO, SAO, external safety, integral lock, mag disconnect, LCI, revolver, size, weight, etc) and then find a gun that fits your needs.