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I've known many women to get motivated in a hurry (i.e. instantaneously) after experiencing a burglary, robbery, mugging, or rape. This tends to concentrate the mind wonderfully... but it's a lousy way to start! :frown:
What motivates women?
I know. "If I knew that, I'd be rich." Specifically, what motivates women to train and carry? Do you know a woman who carries, or are you one? What reasons are you aware of that get women to go to the effort?
Thanks.
SSKC
Thanks.
SSKC
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I'll give you what I know from teaching CHP classes and askinng people why they are pursuing getting a CHP.
Most of the women in my CHP classes are separated, going through a divorce or are divorced. Their ex or soon to be ex is what motivates a lot of them. A few take the class and get the permit at the urging of their significant other. As mentioned by preacherman, some have been the victim or near victm of a violent crime. Others have had a close friend who was a vicitim of a violent crime. A few are like a lot of us and just believe in self-defense, but they are the minority of the women attending my classes.
-Scott-
Most of the women in my CHP classes are separated, going through a divorce or are divorced. Their ex or soon to be ex is what motivates a lot of them. A few take the class and get the permit at the urging of their significant other. As mentioned by preacherman, some have been the victim or near victm of a violent crime. Others have had a close friend who was a vicitim of a violent crime. A few are like a lot of us and just believe in self-defense, but they are the minority of the women attending my classes.
-Scott-
Most of the women or couples I have instructed here in South Florida have been as a result of some criminal trauma. The attitude being "NEVER AGAIN will I be a victim!"
A very good friend of mine, a female, used to be the President of our gun club until she married the President of another club and the two clubs merged. SHE carries a Glock M21 45ACP and she is a member of Congressional staff, locally. She's also a three time GUNSITE graduate, including a shotgun course. She is very smart and VERY GOOD. I think that she too, has been traumatized somehow in her distant past. She is an EXCELLENT NRA certifed Firearms instructor AND an IDPA Safety Officer. After Hurricane Andrew she led all of the clubs instructors down into the disaster zone to give free gun safety lessons to the victims living with nightly intruders of the LOOTER kind. She also had a "close encounter" with a group of looters during that time. She told me it was the closest she ever got to pulling the trigger on a person. She had help, in the form of her brother himself a GUNSITE grad of the basic handgun course AND the Class III sub-gun course. A group of BGs thought the only person at the isolated home was the elderly grandmother. Imagine their surprise when out rolled SHE with her Benelli Super 90 and her brother with his Glock! Anyway, this lady carries all the time that it's legal for her to do so, unfortunately not in DC when she goes with her boss.
A very good friend of mine, a female, used to be the President of our gun club until she married the President of another club and the two clubs merged. SHE carries a Glock M21 45ACP and she is a member of Congressional staff, locally. She's also a three time GUNSITE graduate, including a shotgun course. She is very smart and VERY GOOD. I think that she too, has been traumatized somehow in her distant past. She is an EXCELLENT NRA certifed Firearms instructor AND an IDPA Safety Officer. After Hurricane Andrew she led all of the clubs instructors down into the disaster zone to give free gun safety lessons to the victims living with nightly intruders of the LOOTER kind. She also had a "close encounter" with a group of looters during that time. She told me it was the closest she ever got to pulling the trigger on a person. She had help, in the form of her brother himself a GUNSITE grad of the basic handgun course AND the Class III sub-gun course. A group of BGs thought the only person at the isolated home was the elderly grandmother. Imagine their surprise when out rolled SHE with her Benelli Super 90 and her brother with his Glock! Anyway, this lady carries all the time that it's legal for her to do so, unfortunately not in DC when she goes with her boss.
Out here, it's a mixture of personal protection and 'because I can'.
My old lady realized that there were bad people in the world and some of them might come in contact with her. After showing the sex offender registry, she started carrying regularly. The sex offender registry, IMO, is the single best motivator for women to show them graphically just how many bad people are nearby even in a 'good' town.
My old lady realized that there were bad people in the world and some of them might come in contact with her. After showing the sex offender registry, she started carrying regularly. The sex offender registry, IMO, is the single best motivator for women to show them graphically just how many bad people are nearby even in a 'good' town.
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4,400 Posts
I've been around guns my entire life. I hunted small game and shot clays and paper targets. Training and carrying for self-defense was just another step.
When our family moved to TN in 1991, dad naturally had to find new employment. He found it by buying half a partnership in a hardware store. The surviving partner told my dad that the other partner was murdered a couple months before we moved to town. He was murdered in the basement of the store, after he was supposedly called to open the store in the middle of a Sunday for some hardware a customer desperately needed. The murder is still unsolved.
I can tell you how unsettling it is to have a pack of men stare me down like I'm a menu item.
I'm around 105 lbs. soaking wet and I've had spinal fusion. My gender and size puts me at a serious disadvantage against a man.
I don't believe this is a bad world we live in; I think this is a good world with bad people living in it. I watched the news, read the newspaper, heard about what happened to friends, relatives and neighbors, and knew that horrifying things can happen. While many people could turn their heads and blissfully say, "Well, it won't happen to me," or "you're just paranoid," I realized that there's no one truly looking out for No. 1 but me.
I bought my first handgun on my 21st birthday and followed it up with my carry permit class.
When our family moved to TN in 1991, dad naturally had to find new employment. He found it by buying half a partnership in a hardware store. The surviving partner told my dad that the other partner was murdered a couple months before we moved to town. He was murdered in the basement of the store, after he was supposedly called to open the store in the middle of a Sunday for some hardware a customer desperately needed. The murder is still unsolved.
I can tell you how unsettling it is to have a pack of men stare me down like I'm a menu item.
I'm around 105 lbs. soaking wet and I've had spinal fusion. My gender and size puts me at a serious disadvantage against a man.
I don't believe this is a bad world we live in; I think this is a good world with bad people living in it. I watched the news, read the newspaper, heard about what happened to friends, relatives and neighbors, and knew that horrifying things can happen. While many people could turn their heads and blissfully say, "Well, it won't happen to me," or "you're just paranoid," I realized that there's no one truly looking out for No. 1 but me.
I bought my first handgun on my 21st birthday and followed it up with my carry permit class.
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25,596 Posts
My experience teaching courses is similar to what has been described already. Some ladies were simply spouses who had hubby along as well - but others were single, separated, divorced etc. The protection aspect comes over quite strong.
I encouraged my wife to get her CCW a long time ago - but never felt I wanted to force her into it. Bit by bit I encouraged her to go for it - knowing from earlier range time - she is well competent. She got hers early this year - does not carry all time - not as much as I would like in truth but - it's a start. More range time is soon to be - after which I hope that the extra practice will make her (even) more comfortable to carry.
Other thing too of course - the simple fact that if I left truck and her in possession of my piece - rare I admit - she is at least now legal so to do.
I actively encourage women to carry - whenever I can - of course providing they have a suitable common sense mind set and are prepared to gain adequate competence with a piece. This applies tho to all potential carriers really - not just the ladies.
I'd not be happy to encourage a self-confessed road-rager to carry - until mind set ''adjusted''!! :tongue:
I encouraged my wife to get her CCW a long time ago - but never felt I wanted to force her into it. Bit by bit I encouraged her to go for it - knowing from earlier range time - she is well competent. She got hers early this year - does not carry all time - not as much as I would like in truth but - it's a start. More range time is soon to be - after which I hope that the extra practice will make her (even) more comfortable to carry.
Other thing too of course - the simple fact that if I left truck and her in possession of my piece - rare I admit - she is at least now legal so to do.
I actively encourage women to carry - whenever I can - of course providing they have a suitable common sense mind set and are prepared to gain adequate competence with a piece. This applies tho to all potential carriers really - not just the ladies.
I'd not be happy to encourage a self-confessed road-rager to carry - until mind set ''adjusted''!! :tongue:
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To prepare for riding season, I've been strengthening my back, shoulders and tri's. I now weigh in at 272 pounds. To maintain this, I've been cramming in the meat protein--possibly 106 pounds of Perkin's sausage links for breakfast.
I like you, girl, but in this context, you are a menu item.
(Yikes. I now weigh more than my wife and I combined when we started dating.)
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693 Posts
When I'm down, the world sucks. When I'm up, I'm surprised by the great beauty and the sacrifices of great people. I think these elements are always there, making their presence known or felt by our state of mind.
The first time I felt a great unbearable national pall was during the days surrounding the Kennedy assassination. I was about 13 years old, and this was my first taste of total all-inclusive evil, while feeling endlessly discouraged. I still remember the beating of the procession drums.
But this also was a world where I graduated college, rode my first Harley, met, wooed and married my wife, encountered life-long friends and unlocked the meaning of a life well lived. "From the ashes we shall build a better day."
My mood shifts like the tides, but this tapestry is what makes the life worth living. Sometimes I just look into my puppy's eyes, and share in that moment of innocence and love. In the final analysis, the world is the just the level I choose to acknowledge.
The first time I felt a great unbearable national pall was during the days surrounding the Kennedy assassination. I was about 13 years old, and this was my first taste of total all-inclusive evil, while feeling endlessly discouraged. I still remember the beating of the procession drums.
But this also was a world where I graduated college, rode my first Harley, met, wooed and married my wife, encountered life-long friends and unlocked the meaning of a life well lived. "From the ashes we shall build a better day."
My mood shifts like the tides, but this tapestry is what makes the life worth living. Sometimes I just look into my puppy's eyes, and share in that moment of innocence and love. In the final analysis, the world is the just the level I choose to acknowledge.
my wife carries because she has a psycopathic ex husband. he used to beat her all the time. he was just in jail for beating his 80 year old mother. she was kinda surprised when i started teaching her to defend herself. i told her there's nothing wrong with defending yourself, but it's taken awhile for her to accept that. now that she has i'm kinda scared of her sometimes :smile:
The common theme
It seems, from the replies to this thread, that the vast majority of women who carry do so because they, or someone they know, have been threatened with or actually experienced some form of violence.
Has anyone here been able to pro-actively convince their wife or girlfriend to carry without them having had a "negative life experience" to provide incentive? If so, how did you approach it?
Thanks.
SSKC
It seems, from the replies to this thread, that the vast majority of women who carry do so because they, or someone they know, have been threatened with or actually experienced some form of violence.
Has anyone here been able to pro-actively convince their wife or girlfriend to carry without them having had a "negative life experience" to provide incentive? If so, how did you approach it?
Thanks.
SSKC
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25,596 Posts
I guess I am sorta in that categroy.
My wife (#2 - we have been wed 5 years) - grew up with guns - her dad had a handgun in hand when answering door etc! Over later years tho her exposure was just casual as against active. She suffered one episode when IIRC still quite young - her bro was handling a rifle and shot her Grandpa (he died) - accidental shooting, but of course technically inexcusable.
Whilst that did not make her anti - it did turn her away from guns somewhat.
She had a pretty rough 20 some years during her first marriage but no major ''episodes'' I know of where carry might have been needed. She gradually has gotten used to me and my firearms ''enthusiasm'' (doncha love that word - plays things down from ''nut'' to normal LOL).
Her first involvement with my guns was really when I bought my first few - because I had no green card then, it was only she who could purchase - these were long arms. I had also imported the few I had left.
Once I could set about rebuilding my handgun collection we progressed from - ''why are you carrying?'' - to an acceptance of my desire to do so. It then became as it is now - ''what the old *** does!''. :tongue:
I eventually got her to the range coupla years ago - and she tried about everything (I am not exaggerating!) - she had shot before but of course, barely enough to be really familiar. She tried about every handgun - and a few long arms, including AK! Heck - she was good with that!
She was best with my M66 as far as handguns went - VERY good shooting indeed, albeit with 38 spl loads. No semi really suited her due to the ergonomics of operation, slide racking etc. She is no whimp physically but does have probs dealing with strong slides.
Over latter part of last year I began to get her to think more on getting her CCW - even if she only wished to use it now and again. Plus it made things legal if she was in truck along with my piece (or one of!).Without much nagging - she eventually got the CCW early in the year and I encourage her to carry a bit more, bit by bit. I try to encourage the awareness deal and we soon will go get more practice.
She is best served right now with my ol' M85 snub, as a purse gun. So revo's still seem best bet. I'd rather she had five good and useful shots she can handle, than more from a platform she finds tricky at all.
Bottom line - she has gotten used to my ''interest'' and accepted the logic of carry. She is not a sport shooter (yet!) but is very supportive. She is a gem - and I am lucky, very lucky.
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Yes. It took awhile. We had numerous discussions about RKBA, the AWB and its sunset, and I showed her the writings of Franklin and Jefferson on the right and necessity of keeping arms. It made her think. I took her to Colonial Williamsburg, and had her listen to the history of the Magazine, and the British confiscation of the colonists' firearms and ammo. I read to her from the essays on a-human-right website, and showed her the graphic art, and we discussed them. It made her think. I gave her John Lott to read. After that, I pointed out the bias in the news.SSKC said:
I had been going to the bead shows with her. One day, I invited her to a gun show. She said, OK. She's always loved blades, so she had a lot of fun at the DamascusUSA booth. We looked at a lot of handguns. I got her a couple of blades to work on. On the way home, I suggested that we stop off by the range. She said, OK. I rented a S&W M60 loaded with moderate .38's. On her very first shot, ever, she shot the 10 out of the 10-ring! She was hooked. She discovered that she really prefers the J-frame revolvers and and doesn't like flying brass. Seeing the ejected brass in her peripheral vision makes her flinch, and the sight of brass all over the place upsets her sense of order. Revolvers make more sense to her.
Just last week, she said she'd really like an old Ladysmith like she saw at the show. She isn't carrying yet, but she will be. She's gotten used to me carrying, and it seems strange to her, now, if I'm not.
For my wife it is the knowledge that she does not need me around to protect her as well as the competitive edge we have in shooting diff scenarios out in the desert under a pact timer. She loves being profficient and in control of her own destiny unlike most of her gf's. So much so, she is even surprising me with her situational awareness. There were a few drills I learned in the military to get a grasp of my immediate surroundings and she has picked them up quite quickly.
Good luck with your gal. On a side note, it is reassuring to know my loved one carries and that at times I know my "6" is covered by a very competent shooter.
~A
Good luck with your gal. On a side note, it is reassuring to know my loved one carries and that at times I know my "6" is covered by a very competent shooter.
~A
I will say but this. I have seemed to encounter this quality in females in my various walks of life: they're either darned good at something, or completely indifferent to it. Yes I shall endeavor to explain.
When I worked at the lumberyard we had two types of female employees. We had Kelly, who had lots of redeeming qualities but didn't know a 2x4 precut from a Phillips screwdriver. Completely clueless about what this stuff actually was or what you do with it. My knife frightened her.
Then we had Audra. Audrey's specialty was concrete and masonry, and if you wanted to build anything she could tell you exactly what materials to use. I had a thing for Audra. Her knife was bigger than mine. I wish I still had her number...
Anyway this same dichotomy seems to extend to all pursuits. I've encountered the gals who carry full size 1911s. They laugh at my puny assortment of firearms and can shoot a smiley face in the brain pan of a qualification target 15 yards out.
Then there's my aunts, my mother, and a couple of my cousins. Yes they shoot, sort of, and they're not really adverse to it per se, but they refuse to talk about guns or set foot in a gun store. They actually expect someone else to take care of selecting the gun and all its accessories for them.
Now this isn't to say I don't meet men who are clueless or that it's impossible for a woman to be in the middle of the spectrum, but this is just my limited experience.
When I worked at the lumberyard we had two types of female employees. We had Kelly, who had lots of redeeming qualities but didn't know a 2x4 precut from a Phillips screwdriver. Completely clueless about what this stuff actually was or what you do with it. My knife frightened her.
Then we had Audra. Audrey's specialty was concrete and masonry, and if you wanted to build anything she could tell you exactly what materials to use. I had a thing for Audra. Her knife was bigger than mine. I wish I still had her number...
Anyway this same dichotomy seems to extend to all pursuits. I've encountered the gals who carry full size 1911s. They laugh at my puny assortment of firearms and can shoot a smiley face in the brain pan of a qualification target 15 yards out.
Then there's my aunts, my mother, and a couple of my cousins. Yes they shoot, sort of, and they're not really adverse to it per se, but they refuse to talk about guns or set foot in a gun store. They actually expect someone else to take care of selecting the gun and all its accessories for them.
Now this isn't to say I don't meet men who are clueless or that it's impossible for a woman to be in the middle of the spectrum, but this is just my limited experience.
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