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Hey everyone, it's been a while!

I have a brother that is a sociopath. In the past he has stolen from friends and their relatives, as well as our own relatives. Somewhat recently he stole from me, and while I caught him red handed this time I wonder how many times before he stole from me and I just didn't catch him. I filed a police report, but with much love and respect to the police, when the officer asked me "What are we trying to get done today?" while I was telling him what happened, I knew they weren't going to do anything about it.

My brother has used drugs in the past and others suspect he's been using them recently. He's had big time money issues and has walked out on his wife and kids. I've been contacted by cash advance places and social workers looking for him, and he wasn't too happy when he asked if he could live with me and I refused. I've let neighbors know about this and one of them recently told me that they think they may have seen him in a vehicle outside looking at our houses, which technically isn't illegal but it's a little unsettling. To sum it up this sociopath of a brother of mine is also very desperate, and at least to me desperate people can be very scary because of what they're willing to do.

About an hour or so ago a message was left on my home answering machine. The audio quality isn't the best because it kind of sounds like it was a buttdial call. Because of that I can't say for sure whether or not it was my brother, though I was able to make out some language definitely not allowed at the forum as well as the phrase "I've been drinking too much." This could have been just a totally accidental call from a stranger, but with all the stuff I listed above plus the many other things my brother has done to me and others, if I had a hangnail I'd be suspicious he was behind it (joking, but you get my point).

Sorry for such a long post. I guess I'm asking what kind of advice you'd have on dealing with/preparing for someone like this, be it home defense advice, legal advice, etc.
 

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First off do you have a home security system, if not I highly suggest one that includes outside surveillance along with installing motion detector lights. I am sure there are other measures other members may bring up.
 

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Get a .45, a shovel, and...

Seriously, take whatever precautions you think may be necessary. Security system, new locks, big bad dog, etc.
 

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Another thing I will say is you might consider a self-defense legal plan like CCW Safe. Here is why I say that. When I took SD law classes one of the things the former prosecutor who taught it said is not in any statute or law book, but it is a reality. If you shoot a close relative in self defense, especially one you have had bad blood with, it becomes much easier for a prosecutor to defeat your claim of SD in court. The prosecutor can always claim you were trying to eliminate a family problem more than you were trying to defend yourself. A sad reality of our legal system.

If you do have to shoot, make sure it is squeaky clean legally. The fact that this guy has caused problems for you before actually makes it worse for your SD claim I hope it does not come to that and I wish you the best possible resolution.
 

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An injunction for protection and document, document, document with police report case numbers is the way to go! This is coming from someone who has worked quite a few domestic violence homicides! (If it's not documented it didn't happen, when it comes time for court!) They have Victim Advocates (free of charge) that can steer you through the injunction for protection process! Good luck and stay safe!
 

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If he is consistently stealing from friends and relatives, he is a hard-core drug user. Don't allow him in your house, and try to get all your/his friends and relatives to do the same. Oh, and don't loan him money (you will never see it again) and don't give him a job, as that will just give him the opportunity to steal (if he bothers to show).

He will continue to try and weasel his way into everyone's homes, and needs to be prosecuted when it happens, but he needs to be told beforehand he may not come in.
 

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I doubt you can actually change or deter a sociopath very much if at all. I would probably apprise myself of sociopathic characteristics along with the specific traits of this individual and simply make an effort to remain outside of his operations. Sometimes its better to simply outfox the fox.

If the person is a physical threat, I would treat that as I would any threat, family or otherwise.

As far as property crimes go, many jurisdictions leave it to the victim to seek charges themselves via the warrant process. Around here, a Magistrate can issue a warrant if you have sufficient evidence. I cant say if this is something you should or should not pursue, you should probable get some competent advice from a legal professional.
 

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An injunction for protection and document, document, document with police report case numbers is the way to go! This is coming from someone who has worked quite a few domestic violence homicides! (If it's not documented it didn't happen, when it comes time for court!) They have Victim Advocates (free of charge) that can steer you through the injunction for protection process! Good luck and stay safe!
^Yup.^

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I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
 

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The document, document document part is hard to do with those you know personally. You hate to call the police and report them. But you have to or as has already been said, it didn't happen.

Another thing is how easy it is to break down an unreinforced door. I was just over at a relatives house that years earlier had a steel door put in for security, but it was not heavily secured to solid framework any more than a hollow core door is hung. The whole casement pushed in, hinge and all during a breakin.

If you and your family are routinely gone from the home - that is when he will probably break in. But really, I can't fully comprehend the thoughts and actions of someone desperate for money and drugs. He could "loose it" at any time even with you all home.

Don't forget to pray for him and for your own safety. Unfortunately, forum rules don't allow for more on this.
 

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+2 or whatever on getting competent legal advice and continue documenting everything. Video evidence could be very valuable if you are forced to defend yourself from your brother.

I've been in your shoes except he wasn't family. Things can get messy in a heartbeat. Addiction can cause people to do things that no one in their right mind would even think of doing.

I'll keep your family in my prayers.
 

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When I was a teen I lived next door to alcoholics. When I say next door I mean our front door and their front door faced each other and there was about 40' between them.
My maternal grandfather was an alcoholic.
All I can say is that dealing with family is different than dealing with other acquaintances. Much more emotional and that clouds judgement. Think battered wife syndrome- oh, he didn't mean to do it, he was just drunk.

Being drunk or on drugs is no excuse, that's the law.
 

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This is why I have been saying for a while now that family ain't all it's cracked up to be. Bad people have families, too.

You are caught between a rock and a hard place. As one poster suggested, document, document, document. You should do this any time there is a potential problem or threat with anyone, neighbor, family member, people at work, etc. Add to your documentation audio files and where possible, video files. All of this helps if the situation ever reaches critical mass. Always go armed, no exceptions, where legally able to do this. And always operate from the worse case scenario and work backwards from there. Don't get caught behind the curve. Carry a quality voice recorder when out and have it at hand when home where you can activate it on a moment's notice.

Best of luck to you. Stay vigilant and stay safe. Your own brother. Wow, that's a real shame.
 

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Another thing I will say is you might consider a self-defense legal plan like CCW Safe. Here is why I say that. When I took SD law classes one of the things the former prosecutor who taught it said is not in any statute or law book, but it is a reality. If you shoot a close relative in self defense, especially one you have had bad blood with, it becomes much easier for a prosecutor to defeat your claim of SD in court. The prosecutor can always claim you were trying to eliminate a family problem more than you were trying to defend yourself. A sad reality of our legal system.

If you do have to shoot, make sure it is squeaky clean legally. The fact that this guy has caused problems for you before actually makes it worse for your SD claim I hope it does not come to that and I wish you the best possible resolution.
I have CCW Safe, but I believe they specifically exempt family members from their coverage. I'd check and see before purchasing. My brother is a preacher, so I'm not too worried about him.
 

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I have CCW Safe, but I believe they specifically exempt family members from their coverage. I'd check and see before purchasing. My brother is a preacher, so I'm not too worried about him.
Wow. That's good to know and kind of upsetting. Legitimate SD is SD, it shouldn't matter who the guy is. But I guess CCW Safe is aware of what I described. SD against a relative puts you in a tough legal situation.

I've got some crazy relatives, but fortunately they don't live in my area.
 

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OP: One of the things you have not mentioned is your own family already in your home? Are you single? Married with kids at home? While you really don't need to answer those questions to US, it seems to me that the answers will have significant bearing on your plans.

For example: if its just YOU, things get a bit easier. You can buy/have installed various home security systems, which can alert you, have automatic forwarding to the responsible LE agency (I've been on a few of those calls). if its just YOU, then you can take all the steps mentioned by other posters to protect your PROPERTY. But you have to be willing to make the tough call to enforce those physical boundaries with legal actions against your brother for his violations of PROPERTY crimes.

Now, if you have family at home, that complicates things considerably. You have to do the honest and gut-wrenching assessment in evaluating if he is an ACTUAL PHYSICAL THREAT TO YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS. One the one hand, its easy to take counsel of our own fears. On the other hand, its also easy to under-estimate the danger from family. So, its up to you to weigh all the factors in the level of threat he presents to the physical safety of you and/or family. Here are some potential indicators: You've mentioned his PROPERTY crimes....has he engaged, to the best of your knowledge, in PHYSICAL VIOLENCE towards other people? Is he just a scum-bag loser or is he actually violent?

If he has a history of physical violence (spouse, child abuse, arrests for fighting, quick, violent temper?) then your potential risk has risen exponentially.

Let's assume for the second that he does have violent streak. Then in addition to your protection of your physical home and property, you need to take seriously the threat that he could pose to your family once he penetrates your home. Preparations should include getting your spouse/SO trained in the use of firearms...I mean REALLY trained....like some force-on-force training to teach how to react to sudden threats. You should also consider placing a few pistols around the house in strategic places with secure, child-safe, but quick access pistol safes. Having a couple of well-reinforced doors & door-frames within the house wouldn't be amiss. If you have children in the home, they need to be instructed what to do if your brother shows up on the door-step. I recently watched a video of a self-defense shooting at a Phone store in a Metro location. The perp and salesman traded shots, the perp was hit, crawled out of the door and then ran away. The store employee immediately called 911 and it still took 12 MINUTES before the brothers in Blue showed up. So, your kids need to have a PLAN that works until the Cavalry arrives.

As others have said, document, document, document. I agree that an Order of Protection/Restraining order is in order, BUT, its just a piece of paper. Yes, it can provide a crucial piece of historical documentation should you have to shoot him, but that little piece of paper WILL NOT stop him. In fact, it may inflame him even more....so be prepared.
 
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