I had a S&W Governor. I like .45 Colt and have had several guns chambered for that caliber. Right now I have a Ruger Vaquero and Henry Big Boy rifle chambered in that round. I also had two Bond Arms derringers chambered for the .45 Colt and .410. I have never found those calibers to be a problem but then again I was a recoil junkie shooting .454 Casull, .44 magnum and a .357 magnum out of an 11 oz. snub nose gun.
You can get a .45 Colt loaded for Cowboy action shooting which is very mild or a load for Bears and Wild Boar that has a much greater recoil. My self defense Speer Gold Dots and Hornady FTX's were very manageable in the Governor as were the Federal ..410 buckshot rounds. Recoil is subjective. When I train a new shooter using .38 spl, I sometimes sneak in a .357 mag and not once has anyone said anything about it. However, if I tell them they are shooting a .357 magnum, the recoil is all of a sudden very strong.
I shot both rounds from a 2" Derringer with no problem. The only problem is that the guns that shoot these like the Judge and Governor, have short barrels and therefore do not get as much velocity out of these bullets as the regular guns designed for them. These guns also have very little rifling and accurate shooting of the .45 Colt is not as good in my other guns. They do have some good .410 ammo for the Judge that is optimized for the gun. I would not mind having one for home protection but the distances in my home are so short that I can point and shoot any gun and hit someone. My four home defence guns, one in each room, are 2 9mm, 1 .45 ACP soon to be replaced with a Sig in .357 Sig and a .44 mag S&W revolver loaded with .44 spl. I like big bullets having seen how a .45 ACP worked in Vietnam.