Defensive Carry banner

1 - 20 of 51 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,781 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
My wife supports my decision to carry, actually encourages me at times. Yet when we go to dinner, she has no clue about seating arrangements. Somehow, I usually wind up with my back to the entrance or the kitchen. I've discussed this with her and she says she "understands" why I need to see all the entrances to a restaurant, but it happens. Part of it might be because the employee who grabs the menus and takes us to our table leads, my wife follows and I trail. Manners dictate this pecking order. I lead if we have no escort. Inevitably, the host/hostess seats my wife FACING THE DOOR. If I try to butt in and change seating, it's usually too late. My wife's disability means she has to take a long time sitting and getting situated or getting up to her feet. The last two times were at the Village Idiot and Golden Corral. Both times I could not see the front door. I asked my wife what would happen if things went bad. Would she alert me so I could try to turn around, assess the situation, draw, acquire the target and engage, thereby giving up tactical advantage and wasting precious time? Or would we just be like the other Sheep and cower and pray? She doesn't get it. Ideas?
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,095 Posts
Or would we just be like the other Sheep and cower and pray? She doesn't get it. Ideas?
Personally, I cc, but I'm not going to live my life like I'm a wanted man in Beirut. YMMV.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
189 Posts
If they are seating you at a table rather than a booth maybe just sit next to her instead of across from her. After a few times if she doesn't like it maybe she'll start taking the seat facing inward to begin with.

I have a coworker who I go to lunch with every day. He noticed I like to sit facing the room so one day he figured he'd take that seat first and see what I did. He wound up with me sitting at his 9 o'clock. I didn't think too much of it and he didn't tell me that he had done it on purpose until after I took my seat. It was actually kind of funny.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,190 Posts
It has taken a few years but now when they are ready to seat us she always holds for a moment and looks to me. I nod to the seat "I want" and she arranges her position from there. Works well for us.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,465 Posts
My wife is very situational aware and we just watch each other back. We both have CHL and both carry all the time. We have a code word when spoken brings both of us up to high alert. 4 eyes better than 2, 4 ears better than 2, 2 guns better than 1, we carry the same model gun and can share ammo. This has become a simple way of life for us and we work together at it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
113 Posts
Personally I think some of the strongest aspects of situational awareness are being aware you can't always control exactly where you'll be, and being able to work with what's around you. :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,469 Posts
Usually if I have the option I'll sit facing the entrance, but I don't insist on it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,572 Posts
Personally, I cc, but I'm not going to live my life like I'm a wanted man in Beirut. YMMV.
:rofl: I don't care who you are, that's funny!


Seriously, I think sometimes you've got to play the cards you're delt. However, with your wife's disability, perhaps you could just "assist" her to the side of the table you want her on. You win on two points...Chivalry points and you get the tactical advantage you want.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
50,597 Posts
Simple, remind her on your way into the eating establishment.:yup::wave:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,781 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
Good suggestions - thanks! She had great SA when we lived in Orlando and lost it when we moved to Pueblo, Colorado (less perceived violent crime). Albuquerque's crime rate is 2x the national average and my radar is very active. She wondered why I kept looking around while we ate. I reminded her I prefer to minimize my blind spots whenever possible and got the "Oh, I forgot." She's really good about 2A and my desire to CC. She went through the class with me in Colorado, but never got her permit. She recognizes she doesn't have the temperament or restraint to carry and I respect that. She shoots whenever she's up to it and is prepared to use her skills to defend her/us at home. I'll start discussing it before we get to the restaurant and then deal with whatever seating arrangements we have at the time. Thanks!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
393 Posts
I have one friend that I meet for lunch often... We are both instructors and carry all the time. We most always sit at 12:00 and 9:00, usless there is some reason we can not or there is two different locations the need to be covered. I have learned that I like this seating arrangement best. You can have a conversation without all the other tables around you hearing everything you have to say.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
93 Posts
A female on the board says:
Pull the chair out for her where you want her to sit. +2

Also, I typically sit in the chair which is furthest from the door, which is often the one that faces into the room. Somehow, it's what manners dictate (I'll walk the furthest...or some such.) I'd guess most women will naturally go to the furthest spot too. Never thought much about why.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
261 Posts
My wife knows I don't really care where I sit, as long as my back is to a wall.... and she will purposely give me that chair, or at least ask which one I would like....
sometime I get strange looks.....but most times not.......
It will come out of habit..... If you start ASKING for her to switch seats with you, it will become annoying to her, and she well begin to ask, or will let you dictate her seat with a simple eye nod. I will usually "help" my wife into the seat that I would like her in........ gentlemanly, and functional........
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,387 Posts
Personally, I cc, but I'm not going to live my life like I'm a wanted man in Beirut. YMMV.
:icon_neutral:

Part of the RESPONSIBILITY of carrying a weapon is always being aware of your surroundings so that NEEDING to use your weapon may never be necessary.

YMMV :wink:

:wave:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
587 Posts
I have to agree with MadMac on this. Common etiquette requires the woman to sit in the better seat -- where she can see the room and the people.

I don't live in the kind of city where people come into restaurants waving guns about. Just doesn't happen. Could it? Sure -- but I also don't carry around a lifejacket in case of a tsunami, because that's also unlikely.

To me, the point of concealed carry is to be able to live a better life -- to take worries off my mind. I'm not going to compromise my manners for the sake of an improbable scenario.

On the other hand, if I'm walking to an ATM downtown at night I'll insist that my girlfriend hold onto my non-gun arm even if it looks weird. There are tons of scumbags downtown and I don't trust her to let go if one shows up with trouble.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,890 Posts
I have to agree with MadMac on this. Common etiquette requires the woman to sit in the better seat -- where she can see the room and the people.

I don't live in the kind of city where people come into restaurants waving guns about. Just doesn't happen. Could it? Sure -- but I also don't carry around a lifejacket in case of a tsunami, because that's also unlikely.

To me, the point of concealed carry is to be able to live a better life -- to take worries off my mind. I'm not going to compromise my manners for the sake of an improbable scenario.

On the other hand, if I'm walking to an ATM downtown at night I'll insist that my girlfriend hold onto my non-gun arm even if it looks weird. There are tons of scumbags downtown and I don't trust her to let go if one shows up with trouble.
I'm also in total agreement with MadMac and your post. Seems to me that at times the people that c.c. are just as nervous as the folks that are anti-gun.

My flame suit is on.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,416 Posts
Personally, if I don't see the door I'm not going to be worried. I'm NOT an LEO and I don't pretend to be. Therefor it's not my job to prevent an incident. I am a reactionary person only who is allowed to do no more than defend my life or the life of another. I'm not Jason Bourne here, I'm not going to be scoping everyone who comes through. That is not my job. I am a civilian.

Lets give a scenerio, guy rushes in with a loaded weapon, you face the door and see him. Are you going to be ready to shoot around all the bystanders and hit that guy? Seriously...think about that. Me? I'm looking for a way out of that situation, defend if necessary but aggressor I am not going to be.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
14 Posts
My wife supports my decision to carry, actually encourages me at times. Yet when we go to dinner, she has no clue about seating arrangements. Somehow, I usually wind up with my back to the entrance or the kitchen. I've discussed this with her and she says she "understands" why I need to see all the entrances to a restaurant, but it happens. Part of it might be because the employee who grabs the menus and takes us to our table leads, my wife follows and I trail. Manners dictate this pecking order. I lead if we have no escort. Inevitably, the host/hostess seats my wife FACING THE DOOR. If I try to butt in and change seating, it's usually too late. My wife's disability means she has to take a long time sitting and getting situated or getting up to her feet. The last two times were at the Village Idiot and Golden Corral. Both times I could not see the front door. I asked my wife what would happen if things went bad. Would she alert me so I could try to turn around, assess the situation, draw, acquire the target and engage, thereby giving up tactical advantage and wasting precious time? Or would we just be like the other Sheep and cower and pray? She doesn't get it. Ideas?
When I was much younger I felt the same way.

Your wife's safety is why you are there. Think of it that way?
 
1 - 20 of 51 Posts
Top