Defensive Carry banner

1 - 20 of 105 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
419 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
This is semi-rhetorical/venting/ranting/really wonder what everyone else thinks.

So like so many families, money's tight.. counting and budgeting to the exact dollar.. give or take. .

Never had more than 5 or 6 rounds of JHP ammo for my main (and only) carry gun, plus a ton of function tested FMJ rounds.. not the ideal loading of mags for self or home defense by any means.

I bought my store limit of 3 boxes of 20rds of actual self defense JHP ammo.. totals about $75. Put it on the new credit card- figured could pay it across two months. The ammo has not been ran through or tested through my gun, however similar rounds from the same manufacturer have been, so I bought 3 boxes to run half of it through the gun and carry the rest, IF it worked out.

Of course wife goes and checks the credit card purchase record and sees I spent $75 on ammo.. not happy. How then to explain to a non-shooter why a mag full of FMJ 9mm isn't a good choice in the apartment or out in the street? Around here, if you find ammo you need, you best buy it cuz it wont be there in 5 mins or for another 5 months.

Maybe I should have alerted her to it first, maybe it really IS better to ask for permission rather than forgiveness.. she says I should have only bought 1 box.. which means load up my carry mag and have only 6 extra rounds.. none of which have been proofed through the gun.. also not idea.

What would you have done differently and when it comes to the safety of myself and my family.. should I really put stock in her pissed-off-edness? Granted you want to be honest and truthful with your spouse.. but to not to what I did, I might as well have just locked the pistol in the permanent gun safe and leave it there.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,920 Posts
hey I have the same problem I bought 50 rounds 22 bucks and she through a fit
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,496 Posts
Well, you should always care when your wife is POed. Or at least pretend to her that you do. It certainly wouldn't serve you well to act like you don't care when she's upset.

Carry/HD ammo is an absolutely necessary expense. I count it up there with paying bills. Range ammo, not so much, but ammo you bet your life on - absolutely. Help her understand that it is necessary and not just you playing around or indulging your own personal wants.

And find a way to make it up to her. Fast. :wink:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
419 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
I feel I'm going to be making a couple really good favorite dinners for her real soon.. lol.

I tried to explain why what I have is not good, we live in an apartment with paper thin walls.. FMJ is dangerous to use for home defense.. she kinda got it I think, but grumbled about me not complaining if the truck payment doesnt get made this month..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,961 Posts
If your gun is 9mm or above, there are plenty of tests online to show that JHPs are better, in terms of limiting the risk of over penetration. If you think you have money troubles now, try hitting someone by accident with one of your bullets that went through the BG. :eek:

If your gun is .380 or below, then you really do not need JHPs...FMJ is fine, even preferred.

I might tick off some of the ladies here, but as the man of the house, security is your responsibility. She should respect that, and understand that your purchase is for her safety...this is not a toy you are buying. The amount is not a lot...maybe a yard sale is in order. You can probably more than make up for that purchase.

Good luck! :hh30:
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
50,585 Posts
You will probably need more time in the saddle to figure things out.

In a couple of months, we'll hit the 42 year mark.
We seldom worry about the budget...she buys her 'stuff', I buy mine.
Everything gets paid for...it's been that way for 42 years.

Come to think about it, we seldom argue much about anything. About all that happens anymore is a day or two of 'silence'...and that's only once in a great while.
(I kind of enjoy it.:lolp:)

If I should die first, she's having a big gun/ammo sale...if she goes first I'm having a big craft sale...if we go together, the kids can sort it out.

After a few more years, you and her will learn that getting angry over a chunk of ammo or a box of crafts isn't worth the energy wasted.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,272 Posts
This is semi-rhetorical/venting/ranting/really wonder what everyone else thinks.

So like so many families, money's tight.. counting and budgeting to the exact dollar.. give or take. .

Never had more than 5 or 6 rounds of JHP ammo for my main (and only) carry gun, plus a ton of function tested FMJ rounds.. not the ideal loading of mags for self or home defense by any means.

I bought my store limit of 3 boxes of 20rds of actual self defense JHP ammo.. totals about $75. Put it on the new credit card- figured could pay it across two months. The ammo has not been ran through or tested through my gun, however similar rounds from the same manufacturer have been, so I bought 3 boxes to run half of it through the gun and carry the rest, IF it worked out.

Of course wife goes and checks the credit card purchase record and sees I spent $75 on ammo.. not happy. How then to explain to a non-shooter why a mag full of FMJ 9mm isn't a good choice in the apartment or out in the street? Around here, if you find ammo you need, you best buy it cuz it wont be there in 5 mins or for another 5 months.

Maybe I should have alerted her to it first, maybe it really IS better to ask for permission rather than forgiveness.. she says I should have only bought 1 box.. which means load up my carry mag and have only 6 extra rounds.. none of which have been proofed through the gun.. also not idea.

What would you have done differently and when it comes to the safety of myself and my family.. should I really put stock in her pissed-off-edness? Granted you want to be honest and truthful with your spouse.. but to not to what I did, I might as well have just locked the pistol in the permanent gun safe and leave it there.
Well, unless your wife is a gunny like you, you will never get totally beyond that issue. I have been married for 21 years, and still have "some" issues with the purchase of ammo and other gun related items. You'll get through it. Hang in there.:wink:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,193 Posts
It'll blow over. I've done similar things, and she's mad for a couple of days, then she gets over it, until I do it again...
 
  • Like
Reactions: Hodad

·
Registered
Joined
·
1 Posts
Team

Teamwork!!!
the bottom line comes to working together as a team. Put the shoe on the other foot, if she went and purchased something on credit (the purchase does not matter). What matters is that a team communicates and works together towards a common goal. If you were a good friend I would say stupid move, ask forgiveness, take ammo back and start over.

I am in no way trying to insult you, but men are dull and need some sharpening and sometimes we need blunt trauma to awaken us to the reality of our decisions we make.

Lastly, it is rhetorical as you stated... mainly because you see the light and that you should have communicated with her in the first place instead of banking on her reaction to forgive.

Work hard at your marriage so you can play hard as well!!!!! : )
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
19,449 Posts
This doesn't speak to the OP's situation, but...

I'm on Mrs. Smitty 2.0. Long before we got married, we had the talk about finances and such. By way of getting her "calibrated", I informed her, "You get a new purse, I get a gun. You get a new toilet brush, I get a new gun. You get new clothes, I get a new gun." She accepted that in the light-hearted spirit in which it was offered, and there's never been a problem about my shooting expenses (and I also haven't gone overboard).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
988 Posts
Sounds similar to some of my dealings when I was married. I would plead my case and she would cross examine with female logic. My defense was "that's my story and I'm sticking to it." I would end up in the dog house for a few days but she eventually calmed down but she never forgot it and reminded me about it every time she needed another pair of shoes.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,193 Posts
Teamwork!!!
the bottom line comes to working together as a team. Put the shoe on the other foot, if she went and purchased something on credit (the purchase does not matter). What matters is that a team communicates and works together towards a common goal. If you were a good friend I would say stupid move, ask forgiveness, take ammo back and start over.

I am in no way trying to insult you, but men are dull and need some sharpening and sometimes we need blunt trauma to awaken us to the reality of our decisions we make.

Lastly, it is rhetorical as you stated... mainly because you see the light and that you should have communicated with her in the first place instead of banking on her reaction to forgive.

Work hard at your marriage so you can play hard as well!!!!! : )
I respect your post, but some some wives are rabidly anti-gun. If I did teamwork, I would be unarmed and defenseless. Any and all gun-related purchases come with my wife's objections
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
8,108 Posts
My wife looks at me like i have two heads when i tell her i bought a new gun or ammo . The last one i told her it was for her .380 and i was going to take her out and shoot it when i get it after to 30 or more day wait.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
5,761 Posts
Im guessing that your wife views the ammo you bought as something that YOU NEVER USE. In other words; in her mind, "Why, he doesnt even use it!"

Now, to you & me, thats silly. You hope NOT to use it, of course, but feel you need it on hand to protect the family. To her, money is tight, maybe she could understand it if "it was something he actually used."

IF you look at it from her point of view, it makes some sense. Stop being pissed that she doesnt understand it, and try to explain it to her.

Heck, maybe it even is GOOD that you "dont use it", as you wont have to buy it again. ie one time expense for HER safety. And how you consider $75 cheap, if it keeps her safe.
 
1 - 20 of 105 Posts
Top